severe depression after m/c

[amn702]

Does anyone have any experience with post partum depression after a miscarriage? My OB said it's definitely possible and I've read a lot about it online. My OB is super sweet and understanding and has lost a baby herself and completely gets where I'm coming from. If I don't feel better soon I may have to be treated, which I don't want to do. I really don't want to be on an antidepressant if I can help it. I have overwhelming feelings of sadness and emptiness, no energy, and have started having panick attacks and nightmares. I've never been this sad and depressed in my life. I lost my dad a few years ago and that was VERY hard, but as far as having true depression, I never really experienced that before. I have no interest in my usual activities that I enjoy. I went back to work after a week, but it's still very hard to even get up and get ready and go to work. I love my job and usually have such a passion for it as I really enjoy labor & delivery, but I've even been really sad and distant at work. I am usually so happy and even tearful at deliveries because it is so precious and such a miracle, but honestly it has been super hard to watch all these deliveries knowing that I don't have a growing baby inside me anymore. My husband is very supportive but I know he feels helpless in this situation. Has anyone experienced this and may have some advice on how to overcome it without medication??

[britanydbush]

It definitely was a journey and thank you. With the right help, support and time its made all the difference. But definitely let me know how your doing and if you ever need to talk I'm here.

[amn702]

I am so sorry to hear what you have been through. :( that sounds like such a hard journey.  I really appreciate the support and I am really glad to hear you are better now. Congrats on your current pregnancy also, that is very exciting.  Best wishes for the remainder of the pregnancy!

[britanydbush]

I am so sorry for your loss and all the other ladies who have gone thru this as well :(. A lil over 4 years ago in 2007 my son was born early with hyplastic left heart syndrome and only lived a few hours. I got to hold him while he took his last breaths. For months after this I couldn't even get out of bed , I started to self medicated and even cutting myself. I never opened up to anyone or talked about it. I couldn't stand to see lil babies or anything that had to do with babies. Is was too hard. I told myself id never go thru that again. Then in 2009 I met my husband and he would bring up having kids and I would shoot it down quick. Not realizing it but I was hurting him by the way I was dealing with it. I came up pregnant but after 7 weeks I miscarried. Doctors said Prolly due to me stressing the way I was. I was panicked by the thought of it all happening again. Still I didn't talk about it...by not talking about how I was feeling or opening up and asking for help I ended up in the ER and was committed. I was so angry and embarressed. Most of all I was angry with my husband but I now know he did this because he cares and loves me. He's always been by myside thru all of this. I finally got help and was put on medication and learned to cope and grieve and deal with all of my issues. At first it was hard cuz I was brought up that you don't talk about things or take meds for that matter. But talking about things really does make a difference and I was on meds until I learned to handle things. I didn't want meds either but they did help. And my husband has made me see things so differently...and sometimes its still hard cuz he's only home 2 weeks out of every month but he's been my rock. I am now 28 weeks pregnant and the baby is healthy and nothing is wrong I'm really excited :) I never thought id be having a baby.  Now I couldn't be more excited. I know now my lil boy is in heaven and in a better place. So its possible to be happy again but you'll never forget and I strongly urge to talk about how you feel. But the best of luck to you and I'm here if you ever need to talk.

[amn702]

thank you ladies for all your support. I am so sorry for the ones who have also been through this. it's nice to know I have support here. It's just by far the worst thing I've been though and now when I am able to try again I'm terrified I'll have another m/c, and I can't imagine going through this again :(

[hotmama78]

Possible dear... i am myself facing it now.. i still birth my baby Aidan last Jan 15 at 21weeks.. i still so depression till now.. having luxury holiday in Singapore for 3days i thought can help me heals or relax a bit.. its disaster.. whenever i see people around stroller they kids my heart breaks.. i also hope i can find a ways and share it with you but till now month plus has passed i still cry so badly on and off... :(

[trying43]

After my first m/c I cried everyday for months and when I had another it was even worse.   I think its def possible.  I would see people with babies and it was horrible. So sorry for your loss.

[CMarie81]

Hey lovely, Im so sorry for your loss it sounds like your having a really hard time at the moment, i too had a miscarriage a few years back and i can honestly say it was the lowest ive ever been, i struggled to cope with how i felt, i blamed myself, i kept going over and over every little thing i did from the day i conceived to the day i lost my baby looking for a reason why it happened, i was angry, confused and just felt so lost and on my own, i honestly felt like id never get over it. the only advice i can give you is to do what i had to do, take one day at a time, dont feel like you have to get over it and move on, allow yourself to grieve, talk to your husband about how you feel and all your friends and family, shout, cry, scream if you need to, let all your emotions out and keep talking about it, holding everything in because you think you should be back to normal will only make you more sad, i found the more i talked about it, the more i could start to deal with it and stop blaming myself, i promise you, you will get over it and you won't always feel so sad and down, it does get easier, you won't ever forget it, but you will be able to deal with it. i hope you start feel a little better soon lots of love Xx

[amn702]

thanks for your concern.

[July29]

Put yourself in the hands of god and in the hands of your guardian angel your dad and your precious little angel and the three of them will help you find the strengh that you need.