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Avatar universal

suicide?!?!

Okay I know I'm going to get a lot of negative comments on this but I need help and this just hit me yesterday so I haven't had time to seek professional help. So I was with my boyfriend for 3 years, I'm crazy obsessed with him till this day and he is with me we love each other soooooo much but we had broken up for a few months and I moved on and he moved on but we ended up having sex and he finished inside me (we were not together) and he did something that made me really upset so I had sex with a friend a week later and he finished inside me as well (he says he didn't and wants no part) so a month later I find out I'm pregnant and me and the guy I love got back together. He doesn't know what I did though and I never thought about it until now, were getting married in a few days and I was so excited we love this baby but yesterday he called me crying that he had a fight with his mom  and that she asked for a DNA test and that's when it finally hit me how stupid and such a **** that I was :'( I been going CRAZYY literally since yesterday I want to kill myself thought about hurting my baby but I just can't I'm seriously going crazy I've been laying in my bed kicking and screaming and praying for the past 5 hours. I don't want to choose between my babys life, mine or my relationship with the love of my life. Losing any of those would kill me!! I'm 10 weeks pregnant and I'm 18 years old Im getting married but now not looking forward to having this baby because it might not be his!! Idk what to do!! I'm so lost, confused, deppressed, crazy!! Please I need advice.......judge me if you must but I really dont need it........
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Avatar universal
Oh my gosh :) really???? I'm so excited I don't know what to do (I never know what to do) lol well I always cry so I feel the tears coming. I have so much hope :') thank you Jamie I didn't know how to use all those numbers, you really helped. I might get a prenatal paternity test just to make sure
Helpful - 0
2086677 tn?1372511435
your boyfriends sperm can live in u for a long time i think around 5days so u had sex with him the 3 and it says u concived on the 4th well there u go its the boyfriends baby u were all ready preg befor u ever had sex with the outher guy
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Avatar universal
Thank you so much your post really made me feel a lot better. Thank you
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Avatar universal
I did some research for you and sperm can live in the vagina for 3 to 5 days... so you do the math and as far as harming your baby you stressing is doing the trick eventually something bad will happen so you need to calm down. My situations not like urs but just as bad my bf cheated and got someone else preggo. Two weeks later I found out I was also preggo by him... now we are not together as for the baby he"s kicking up a storm at 22wks. I thought about getting rid of it because I was sure my world was ending and I was gonna die... but I got over it and am now patiently waiting to kiss the tiny feet that kick me constantly... another thing is you are only 18 you will make plenty more life ending dead wrong mistake but the good part about it is with each new day you get a chance to correct them. Life is more this momment and this unfortuante circumstance it is filled with infinite possibilities of happiness this baby may very well be gods gift of happiness to you... imagine loving someone who your are absolutely certain will always love you back... best of luck girlie. Your stronge enough to withstand whatever happens so start acting like it :) chow
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
How come when I do the conception calculator I get that its the other guys :( it says I conceived from the 4-9 and I had sex with my bf on the 3rd and the other guy on the 9th :'(
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2086677 tn?1372511435
thats what i been saying i allso think its her boyfriends baby i really do.i add the numbers up and i really think its the boyfriends baby from what i added.my money is on the boyfriend i belive its his
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Avatar universal
Thank you so much. I hope its his :(
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Avatar universal
Please don't harm your baby or yourself!  I am also due November 29, last period February 23, had sex on March 3rd and 4th (March 4-9 high fertility) With your numbers, sounds like you might be pregnant with your fiance's baby. Keeping you in prayer!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thank you I will tell my mom soon. I love her and I know she won't judge me. Thank you all for you it still feels nice to know I have people to talk to. Also if you have a similar story to mine please message me I'd like to hear it.
Helpful - 0
1972798 tn?1355549267
You need to talk to your parents also. They need to know how you are feeling but you need medical help also not just a forum.
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1972798 tn?1355549267
Dont lie to him thats exactly what you are doing by not telling him. But killing your baby is exactly that! killing a human being. You are falling more in love with your baby but want to kill it?? Its not healthy for you either. It has life long reporcussions not just mental but physical and raises your risk of breast cancer later in life.. You need to sit down and talk to him and a letter is a good idea. Remember your baby at this time has a heart beat its toes are forming and eyes are mostly open. Your baby has ears and its lips are beginning to form as well. Your baby is a human being and before you go and kill it remember that your boyfriend will probably leave you for killing it. Be truthful with him because it will be the best in the outcome. If he leaves you and you kill your baby you are left with absolutely nothing. At least you will always have your baby no matter what!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
being 18 is not an excuse for anything. Ur an adult n u made an adult decision to have unprotected sex n u need to be HONEST. If u marry that guy before u tell him then he's gonna think u trapped him (which u r ) if u wait to tell him after the wedding n he's mad enough he can just divorce u! He not stuck with u if ur married he will just divorce u n then ur b youn, divorced, n either a mom or a girl dealing with killing her child n losing everything  n as far as getting an abortion that's all ur choice ur the only one that had to deal with the pain n guilt the rest of ur life

Tell him b4 u make ur life worse! N u two can make a decision together about keeping the baby or not
Helpful - 0
1936698 tn?1333915193
I don't think telling a lie like that way to go with this.
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Avatar universal
I could say I miscarried. I know everyone probably think I'm a horrible person and I am but I'm 18 I'm scared, I dont know what to do I don't want to tell him now :(
Helpful - 0
1936698 tn?1333915193
If you abort the baby, you will probably lose him, which you stated earlier you didn't want to do. If he loves this baby as much as you say, I highly doubt he will care if there may be another dad. There IS still a chance he IS the father. Do not chance killing a baby the can possibly belong to him. Tell him before the wedding. If anyone asks why it has been postponed just say you decided to wait until after the baby is born or something.
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Avatar universal
Thanks but I think it would be easier to get over this abortion than to get over him. My world does revolve around him people just don't understand. I just can't tell him before the wedding its already been postponed once it can't happen again or everyone will take us as a joke. Can someone just please please help me figure out how to do it after the wedding if I don't decide to get this abortion
Helpful - 0
2109562 tn?1347253848
If you do not want your kid even in the end of all this give it up for adoption. There are tons of families out there that cannot have kids and would love your child and provide the best for it. Please do not hurt that little innocent baby. As for your fiance the longer you wait to tell him the worse its going to be. for you and him. I know you love him but no world revolves around a man. not to sound rude what so ever but you really need to talk to a therapist or something. Its normal to feel depressed. I had a friend that even after her baby was born she wanted nothing to do with him, but she never did anything about it. He's now a healthy 3 year old and she loves him more than anything. Its normal to feel this way. Just PLEASE don't do anything to yourself our that baby. The baby already loves you unconditionally. Even IF and remember I said IF, he does leave you your a strong woman who can get through this life is tough and sh.t happens. You can't just give up on yourself. Think of how you would make your family feel if you committed suicide. They would be devestated and the guy who loves you would. Just please start thinking positive. Everyone on this site is here for you. But like I said maybe it would help talking to someone personally. I really hope things look up for you. And you should really sit down with your fiance and tell him BEFORE the wedding. Just have an adult conversation with him. Discuss your options. Besides abortion. I know its your decision but you're baby is a BABY now, not just a fetus. :/ good luck girlie.
Helpful - 0
2087711 tn?1354908175
Are you positive you ovulated on the 9th???   Ur ovulation could be off by a few days.   My last period was feb 8th and my due date is nov 15th my conception date was the 22nd or supposed conception.  My ovulation tracker though said i was supped to ovulate the 19th.  So dont count on ur ovulation date.  
Helpful - 0
1936698 tn?1333915193
Don't do anything drastic. If your fiance loves you and this baby so much and you do anything to harm the baby, he will more than likely leave you for killing the baby. Even though there is chance the baby may not be his, if you just up and get rid of the baby and not tell him, he will most likely leave you. And like you said earlier you don't want to lose him or the baby. Just tell him the truth, when the baby is born, do a DNA test. If the baby isn't his and if you decide you don't want to keep the life you helped create, then contact the biological father and see if he wants his child. If not, look into an adoption agency. Honestly, if you aren't honest with him about this, it WILL cause problems later on down the road and you will feel worse about yourself. I promise you, once you see that little baby everything will change. If your fiance loves you and the baby as much as you say he does, then it won't matter if the baby is his or not. He will love the baby as his own. Why would you want to take a chance at killing a baby that could possibly belong to your fiance? I'm sorry if I sound rude, or if I upset you, I really don't mean to, but don't harm the baby. Don't take that chance. Talk with your man, let him know, let him read the original post if you have to, but please don't take a chance at harming your baby knowing there is a chance that it could belong to your fiance.
Helpful - 0
2087711 tn?1354908175
I was going through soome rough times with my bf as well i never told him that when we were on a break last year around august but still wanted to be together that i had sex with another man.  I never told him but he found out and he was furious i was worried i was going to lose the baby.  Lesson learned though honesty goes a long way if you tell him now rather than later he might not even want to stick around to see if the baby is his or not telling him now will let him know that ur truly sorry for ur mistake and that u want to be married and have this baby yes ur wedding might be post poned until the baby is born or until he can get over the fact that the baby isnt his and that he will stick by u whether or not the babys his.   Just please tell him.
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Avatar universal
I ovulated the 9th that's the day I had sex with the other guy and I had sex with my boyfriend the 3rd........... :'( I might look into abortion pills then
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I looked it up and it said the conception was from 3.4.12 to 3.12.12 so if u know when u ovulated that might help.
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Avatar universal
You're 18, an adult...u need to tell this guy the truth. He has a right to know the baby may not be his. I am not judging u at all, but I do think u need to get help. It sounds like all u care about is if he leaves u. Grow up, tell him the truth, and deal with the outcome. Be a strong woman! You also mentioned that u were obsessed with him and u wana kill urself and hurt ur baby, and u don't wana lose ur fiance. That doesn't sound like an entirely healthy relationship. If u are marrying this man u have to be honest with him. Good luck, and please talk to someone and don't hurt urself or the baby. No matter wat, that baby is still half u...cherish it.
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1936698 tn?1333915193
Write a letter. I find it easier to tell others things when I write them down.
Helpful - 0
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