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1285850 tn?1291776435

OPINION : Using a name a friend chose too.

I have a question, i'd like to know peoples opinions.

If you had a name chosen for your baby and you KNOW you told your best friend (a close one you've knows since childhood) and she gets pregnant a few months before you,  uses the name, and claims she never knew you wanted it too, would it be wrong to take the name afterwards knowing she will be pissed off saying you took hers.


When I found out I was really upset. People kept telling me that I should do what I want and use it even if she gets pissed. But it really bugged me a lot since she's close to me and now I feel like it belongs to her. My DH says it's wrong to chose a name that family or real close friends picked. Expectially when a few months apart.

I tried really hard to chose a new name and get over it, but it still bugs me a lot and I feel like I lose out even though I KNOW I told her about it before she even got pregnant even if she denies it (or doesn't remember)


So i'm wondering if others may have faced this, what did you do?
Is it wrong to take the name too? When you know she will be upset at you?

Best Answer
392430 tn?1382904781
We lost our first choice name in that manner. We told friends what we had decided on when we were undergoing IVF for our first son...needless to say their son is named Alexander and ours is not. But that is ok because Phineas suits him soooo much better!

We opted not to take the name, but I think it is a personal choice. Forget what other people say, and if they say anything, just say something along the lines of "Yeah they used it first but only after we said that was the name we were using"...
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1024452 tn?1323708817
I think that Anna is a common enough name that it shouldn't matter.  I have lots of friends with Michael's or John's or other common names and no one seems to care if someone else uses that name.  I think it is when you run into the more unique names that it becomes an issue.  Also, you are naming her after you because it is your middle name.  I feel that if it is a family name, then the other person or family cannot get upset.  I say if you still want to name her Anna to go ahead and do it!!
Helpful - 0
1191262 tn?1366763021
Elianna is a very nice name and unique! As you said, the most important is to feel it suits your baby girl.
It really depends how the name is important for you. If I was planning a particular name since a long time I would be (like you) very disappointed to see my friend stealing that name. At the same time, I want my baby's name unique at least within friends and family.

It is really up to you but remember to separate your frustration from what is best for your baby. Choose the best for your baby and don't worry about other people.
Am I just confusing you? lol
Helpful - 0
1285850 tn?1291776435
So with Careful thinking we've decided we aren't going to give it a name until it's born.
We will have ideas. Some we prefer. But we are not officially announcing the name.
I am not taking the name completely off the list. It is still there.

We think if we see the baby and she looks like an Anna (that's the name I had picked for my baby) we will use it. If she's a good friend she will understand. There's only a select few people that would know we have the same name anyways. If she thinks I copied her, then I can tell her to ask my mom, I called my baby Anna before i miscarried her (Back in Jan)

we will look into her face and determine what suits her best.
We're also considering maybe Elianna which is a mixture of Elixis and Anna.
(also my middle name is Ann which is where I got Anna from)

Thanks for the advice, I needed to realize that I should name the baby what feels right in my heart.
Helpful - 0
1285850 tn?1291776435
Yeah you guys are right, in the end it's our decition and we will do whats best for us. If we do pick it, and she gets upset, well I will just kindly remind her that I had picked it before her and I had no issues with her picking it too. If she still gets upset so be it, she's not an understanding person.

We also will look at maybe using it as a second name, or if we have a 2nd daughter. But I am not going to stop myself if I look into that baby's eyes and see her with my original choice.

Thanks.
Helpful - 0
1278093 tn?1294320384
ya know i'd name your child what you want to.
if she's really a good friend she will understand.
if she isn't, then she shouldn't have taken your name in the first place.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I searched high and low for a name that is not any where in my family line or friends or their kids.. just so I knew my baby would be unique. MarLea!

I completely see your point and both choices.. it is your baby and you should be able to call her what you wanted, but I also like for each child to have their own name unique to them and their parents.

Good luck on your decision making, you have a right to be up set.
Helpful - 0
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