Am I being selfish?

[mommaDi]

I am not 100% sure if I want to have my second child vaginally.  I enjoy having sex with my partner and I am afraid that if I push another child out, neither one of us will be able to physically enjoy it.  I had a 4th degree episiotomy with my first child and, because of that, am nervous already.  I know that having a cesarean this time around will cause me to have to continue having them.  I'm obsessed with kegel exercises in hopes that it will improve my recovery and that my vagina won't stretch AS much.  I just whine around to my partner about not wanting a big vagina!  What are your thoughts on this?  Am I being selfish?  

[rccresswell]

I think it is a good question lol.  I have had two children vaginally and a miscarriage at 14 weeks.  My partner and I haven't noticed any change in our sex life to be quite honest after having children, we both enjoy it just as much as before we had children.

I do have a friend that had an emergency c section with her first and vaginally with her second and she said that the recovery is so much faster vaginally.  I think it is personal preference.  I do know in most cases subsequent pregnancies are a lot faster.  After labouring at home for 24 hours I got to hopital and within 10 minutes my daughter was born and I could have run a marathon after having her.

Just do some research and do what you believe is right for you.

[Majikat]

I have pushed two babies out my second was 9 pounds and I just did the exercises and everything is just as it was.... And as the post above says it can be fixed if it doesn't go back to normal

[SunWorshiper_26]

It's a myth that once you have a csection you have to have all csections after.

Yes your vagina might stretch a little bit it will go back and if for some reason it doesn't your dr can fix that too!  So yes it is a concern but it's one that has solutions. I wouldn't rush into major surgery in fear of a big vagina but that's just me. Each person has their own preference. The recovery time with a csection will be longer and more difficult making it harder for you to care for you and your new baby. Just make sure that you know all the info going in :)

PS don't think it's selfish at all big vagina means less satisfying sex with your partner and really who wants that?!

[mommaDi]

They did sew me back up after my first delivery!  lol  I do understand that your vagina is a muscle but it can't possibly go back to normal after 2 humans have passed through it!  I plan on asking my Doc when I go back the 7th.  I may be acting completely silly towards this whole situation/having a blonde moment BUT I am concerned!  haha :)

[lil_lady25]

I have never given birth before but my intentions were that after a vaginal delivery they will "sew you back up" if the baby tears anything. If not, I also thought that it eventually goes back to normal anyways.....? If i'm completely wrong well then I guess i'm a little happier now that i'm having a scheduled c-section.