delivery and family

[LittleRed83]

So my boyfriend just got mad that I invited my sister to be in the room with us while we deliver. I honestly thought that he would be fine with it so I invited her and now he threw a fit because he thinks it should just be us. I'm so confused. I just assumed he would be ok with it. Is anyone else going through this or have gone through this???

[bubbahbigsis]

with my first her father did not want to be in the room because he was freaked out about the blood and stuff so i had my mom and sister. when i went into labor he changed his mind but i told him im sorry you mad ethe choice not to be in here and i already asked my sister to take your place and i am not asking her to leave so he stood at the door and came in right after she was born. i should have taken it as a sign that he wasnt going to stick around cuz he left the hospital a few hours after she was born and never came back til i was at home( i lived with my parents) and she was almost a week old. but with my boys( different father then my daughter) he was there and great he didnt mind if i had anyone else in the room with our first sone we had my mom and his mom and with our second we just had my mom. with this one we are going to have my best friend in there. she is super excited because she has no children and never been in a delivery room. when i told him he was super fine with it because he knows how stressful it can be the room.

[lil_lady25]

I agree with trying43 that maybe you should bring up the idea that she can take the pictures. That way he can have his attention 100% on you and baby. It probably would have been a better idea if you spoke to him about it first though. But with our hormones all over the place I probably would have done the same thing you did if I was having a natural delivery. I'm kind of glad that with our c-section it will only be us two because it will be a very special and emotional time for us. Let us know if you guys decide to have your sister involved or if it will just be the two of you.

[wannabeamommy0124]

Hubby seems to think his mom is going to provide me with as much support as my mom would... obviously NOT!!  first of i dont really get along with his mom... secondly i dont want his mom looking a my private areas... and third of all my mom is my mom noone can compare... anyways... i understand that he may want a say in who goes in and who doesnt but it is u who are going to be experiencing the pain and you should be able to share this moment with someone close to you if u wish... plus its not like its a stranger.. its ur sister!!

[trying43]

The only person I have allowed in the room with us both pregnancies and this one too is my husbands sister.  We needed a photographer and she fit the bill.  We knew she would take photos(we told her what to take and not in advance) quietly and only do or say things if asked.  Perhaps your sister could take photos for you as well, maybe that would make your BF more comfortable.  Good luck.

[SunWorshiper_26]

I'm so glad that you and your boyfriend were able to talk through it :). You are always welcome to post here with any questions or just to let us know how the pregnancy is going. I may be bias but I have found this group of women to be especially comforting, encouraging and smart. We also have ladies from all over the world and different walks of life so it brings a nice balance of opinion and stories. Welcome to the group! :)

[rccresswell]

I had that same problem when I was pregnant with my first.  My husband was adamant that he didn't want anyone in the room and I was adamant I wanted someone else in the room.  He spoke about it a lot and he understood why I wanted another person in the room and wasn't too bothered closer to the delivery date.  When I finally went into labour my husband was so happy we had that extra support because it meant he could just relax and watch our son be born rather than being up the other end trying to encourage me through the contractions.

With my second pregnancy we had another support person and that was awesome as well.  My husband loves having the extra support in the room now.

With this pregnancy I have gone completely the opposite.  I have decided not to have anyone in the room because of my previous miscarriage at 14 weeks.  My only reason is that I am scared my emotions from my miscarriage will come back 10 fold and I really just need my husband their to comfort me because we both lost that baby.  I am also petrified something might go wrong so that is another reason why I don't want anyone else there.

I hope that all makes sense.  I think you need to do what makes YOU feel comfortable because you are the one going through all the pain and if having your sister there is going to make you feel more relaxed then that is what you should do.

[LittleRed83]

Yes we did talk a little bit. He pretty much just got upset because I didn't ask him first which now makes sense listening to him and hearing what you all have to say.
I admit, I am new here. But you all are so amazing. It feels great to have this support group :)
Thanks

[SunWorshiper_26]

I think he would have probably been more ok with it if you had spoken to him first. It is a very special time in both of your lives and this event isn't just about you but also about him. Many men and women want it to be just them and their partner during delivery. Maybe a good comprimise would be to allow her in the room while you labor for support and then when it comes to delivery you two can be alone if he still feels that way.

I think we get so focused on getting our ducks in a row for the arrival of baby that sometimes we forget that our husbands have an opinion too and they put 50% of their DNA into the cause ;). Not to worry I'm sure you can reach a compromise prior to delivery.

[Jennyeaton23]

My husband doesn't mind because he understands that I will need emotional support, especially while he is napping (if labor is long) and while he is taking photos of our birth and our son. However I do have a friend that is so adamant that it be him and his wife, that he said he would leave if she invited anyone else in the room. I think you should both try to work it out so you are both comfortable. Is thier someone else maybe ou and your boyfriend are comfortable with?

[Majikat]

just tell him that you need her for support and that it is really to make yourself feel more comfortable during labour and delivery....