Ugh, really upset with DH!

[Kimberlee_20]

I've had a rough time potty training my German Shepherd puppy, and I finally got him to go outside by saying "you gotta go out?" and he'd run to the door, if he had to go. When I watched him go outside, I taught him to run to the refridgerator and he has his own frozen treats, and I would give him one whenever he went to the bathroom outside (poop, not pee). Well, tonight DH and I were eating dinner, and my puppy started sniffing around so I asked him if he had to go out, and he did, so I let him out, and he came back in and sat infront of the refridgerator. I got up to give him a treat and DH said "I hate when you do that" and I said what? and he said "you spoil that dog!" and I explained that was how I was getting him to go outside, I eventually planned to break the habit, and he said "well it really makes me wonder how your going to raise a kid if you treat a dog like that." It upset me so bad, it's been a few hours and I still haven't talked to him because I don't want to flip out on him, and I know I will. He's apologized, but I didn't say anything - it really makes me wonder what he thinks of me being a mom if he's just going to say that out of no where!

[Mumita]

Well, we've had our dogs for the last 7 years before getting pregnant and I can say that we've spoiled these kids (dogs) as if they are our children, and I think in a lot of ways (simplistic ways) they are like children.  Specially when it cocmes to how you and your husband raise them.  You both have to be on the same page with them and have the same rules with the dogs otherwise they'll never learn to behave well.
I don't know, we may be weird but they are our "practice" kids and best of all, they don't talk back!
I think you took the perfect approach to training your puppy and you shold try to get your husband to do the same otherwise your dog will have a harder time learning to go outside.

Anyway I'm glad everything is better, just keep communicating, its a pretty nervewracking time.

[Kimberlee_20]

Thanks ladies, we're okay now, we talked last night about everything and he apologized again. He didn't really want the dog to begin with, but he got the puppy for me because he knew I wanted one, this was before I knew I was pregnant. But anyway, we're doing better now! So thank you :]

[ladybugbob1029]

Hey girl!  I've been there!  I have a yorkie-poo that I trained to go outside with treats as well.  He goes out and if he poos he goes to his little basket where I keep his treats and I give him one.  We are now to the point where he only gets the treat like every other time that he poos bc I'm trying to break the habit.  I'll still give him treats occassionally, but I didn't want to keep up the poo/treat cycle.  You are doing the right thing!  I took a class on dog training and that is how you TRAIN A DOG.  Your hubbby should keep that in mind - maybe that's a point you should bring up.  This is just a technique to train a dog.  Not a child (although I was potty trained with Reese's pieces and my brother with sweethears. Ha!  so who's to say it doens't work).  I think DH is probably just nervous about raising a child and what will be best.  I still think the deliniation needs to be made between the fact that this is an animal and what you are having is an intellectual being and that how you treat one doesn't necessarily reflect on how you will treat the other!  I spoil my little doggy all the time - that's why I got him.  I wanted something to love on and pamper and to love me back!  You'll be a great mom!  The fact that you are even worried about what you hubby thinks just proves that!!!  Good luck!

[ArmyPrincess819]

Welcome to Marriage! We all say the stupidest things the fact that he said he's sorry is enough and should be dropped. It takes alot out of a couple to raise a family especially with all the problems in the world like the economy and war etc. My dh is a sgt in the army he has no communication skills believe me but the effort is made and when he screws up he says he's sorry. I do it too. In relationships it's give in take. Why waste your brain power wondering how it will be when the baby is here? Who knows if you keep putting effort into things it will be good. Listen after yrs and yrs I still don't always get my dh and may never but the one thing I know is I love him very very much and he is my best friend all friends will fight argue and disagree but if your friendship is strong it will endure anything life throws you! When the time is right sit him down and ask him why he can't try to change his approach let him know you don't want to change as a person but changes his ways. It's all in your presentation if you are defensive he will be. It stinks I hate the arguing or stupidity but it happens. All you guys can do is better manage how you deal with it. Best wishes to the both of you!

AP

[Kimberlee_20]

He doesn't have an approach, he leaves it to me, that's why it's so frustrating!

[Mumita]

Kimberlee, lets just hope that he's just getting nervous about the prospect of raising a child and nothing else.  I have two dogs and I think they are very similar to raise as puppies/babies and then the dogs become life-long todlers, the child grows out of it and then you have to change your ways.  
My big dog (german Shephard mix) he's very obedient and you will notice that with your puppy, he doesn't forget anything, and there will be a point in which he will preffer to pee outside always rather than inside where he sleeps in.  
But you are doing it right, you have to condition him to preffer going outside even if its by giving him treats or praising him for doing such a good job.  I've never raised my dogs on treats but we have raised them to be BIG on verbal praise or scolding.  My dog, I'll say "you are such a good dog" in a happy voice and he just melts, but if you tell  him "what did you do!??!" in an angry voice, he rolls on his floor and covers his head in shame.  If either of us says the word Bath, in any conversation, he tucks his tail and runs upstairs because he knows what that means.

Anyway I think kids are the same way in some aspects, there is positive feedback and negative feedback. I think you are doing it right with your dog and if you use a similar approach to teach your babies (it gets complicated later on) you will be able to communicate better with your child.  You want your dog and your child to understand when you are happy with them and dissapointed.  It has nothing to do with spoiling them.
Your husband will get over it once your dog does all of his business outside.  Anyway, what is his approach!?