When to tell family...

[persephonespryd]

Has anyone not told their family yet?

I want to tell DH family, but am so fearful that as soon as I do, something will go wrong... like last time. I'm told that 12 weeks is a decent time since the MC % drops considerably. Doctor seems to think that MC rate dropped as soon as I had that strong heartbeat. She's not concerned at all... despite spotting.

So far, I've told my mom & dad, a few close friends, and work (due to need for light duty). Of course, DH and kids were the 1st to know.

[kiisya]

It's funny that you say that... I've been worried about telling my mom this time because I'm unwed. I told my dad but didn't tell mom for few more weeks. When dad asked when I was going to tell her, I told him oh, about the time I start waddling to the hospital to deliver!

[persephonespryd]

Alaysha - I do love stats!! I keep looking them up online. Thanks for reminding me of them!! :)

I guess I'm just being overly cautious out of fear of disappointment again. It was such a huge blow to lose the last one (to me and my immediate family) that I don't want to get everyone all excited only to have hopes dashed again. I keep going back and forth over it. I joked to DH the other day that maybe I should surprise everyone and wait until after having the baby. *snicker*  

[alaysha]

I would tell whomever you feel like telling. I think its like after seeing the heart beat on an ultrasound miscarriage drops to like 12% and then after hearing it with a doppler it drops to 3% and then getting out of the first trimester it drops to like 1%.

[GinaGi]

i told my family when i got a postive pregnancy test .. last time i waited and i miscarried so i tried something different this time .. It's whomever you feel like telling it's you and your husbands pregnancy and noone elses.
My mother n law keeps telling me to tell people and i got into so many fights with her that this is my prengancy and i will tell who and when i want to.. She had the nerve to go to dh and tell him to tell the same people  taht i had alrewady i told her no too and dh finally stood up to her (which actually kinda of turned me on /...i know tmi lol )

anyway now that i am finished venting
it's whatever you feel comfortable doing .. i look at it like this if  in the unfortunate even something does go wrong who shoulder do you need to lean on ... and that goes for all of u frist trimester ladies ..

[Heatherm4]

We told most of our close family at 5 weeks. The rest of the family knows by now but I haven't yet announced it like on Facebook or anything. I'll wait until my ultrasound for that. I wanted ppl to know....especially work actually just in case something went wrong...I wouldn't have wanted a million questions if a miscarriage happened. I'd just want a silent support!

[cocacolapanda]

We told our families at 9 weeks after I had an ultrasound where we saw the heartbeat and saw the baby moving around.  I had a missed miscarriage so I wanted to make sure I got past that point before telling anyone (The baby stopped at 6 1/2 weeks).  DH's family actually knew before I wanted them to, a few of them asked (Even though I asked them NOT to) and I just avoided going over there because I didn't feel comfortable with them knowing so early.

It's really up to when you feel comfortable telling your family.  It's so much harder to tell them you lost the baby then it is to wait a little longer until you'r ready.  Many women spot during pregnancy, as long as you keep monitoring it (if needed) then I wouldn't worry too much.

Also, when I miscarried, Something didn't feel right for both DH and I, this time I feel exactly like I did when I was pregnant with my son, so for me waiting for a good scan that was past my 6 1/2 week mark was really all I needed to feel at least a little better about telling family.