Breast or Bottle? PLEASE READ FIRST!

[maoriprincess]

my baby is now 6 weeks old and is thriving...she's so adorable and loves her big brother and sister to bits...she only smiles for them!!...i am really trying hard to fully breastfeed for as long as possible but i have a 4 year old and a 2 1/2 yr old and they have started playing up lately...i think its because most of my time is taken up breast feeding and i have hardly anytime or them or anything else for that matter...im torn between keep breast feeding or giving her the bottle...my baby was exactly 9 pounds born and at 6 weeks is now 11 pounds so shes gaining weight fine but it takes soooo long...by the end of the day im physically mentally and emotionally drained and she gets up 4 times during the night the last being at about 5ish before morning but just as i get back to sleep its time to get up to get my other kids ready for kindy...its hard because im getting mad at even the sillest things that my kids do or even my mum...its not fair...idk what to do...i want to continue breastfeeding as i know its best but i dont want to miss out on my other 2 kids too..what should i do???

[tarajanes]

Hi I have never breast feed,but can understand where you come form,have you tried expressing your milk.maybe that way your other 2 children,can help out during feeding times.you can ask them to get you a bib.silly little things like that.so they feel involved.it is draining,and it will get easier..Cant offer anymore advice im afraid,but there are plenty of mums here who breastfeed,and can offer you some,your not alone hun.

[maoriprincess]

yeah i try to do that now like can you please get Jaziah a nappy etc as they cant really help in the breast feeding department.. they absolutly adore her and are constantly trying to hug and kiss her and that so they dont mind doing things for her...unfortunatly at this time as a solo mum a breast pump is a little out of my price range, but will look into that a little more...maybe i can layby 1 after christmas...i just don't want them to feel that i care more about baby then i do them or anything like that...idk ive been told i think to much sometimes being an only child i wouldnt know about anything like sibling jealousy or anything  but thank you for you advice...anything helps...i only have my mum to talk to as my 1 freind doesnt have kids and my mum only had me so she doesnt know what its like in this situation either but she thinks i should bottle feed ...my girl is just hungry 24/7 and when she is it has to be RIGHT NOW!!!...aparently this is what it's like when breastfeeding though

[tarajanes]

Have a look on ebay hun,for a breast pump.I feel where your coming from.it is difficult.especially when your others are at such a young age.bless them.im currently bottle feeding my 7 month,and expecting again,so im sure I will be asking somthing similar soon.
There are so great girls on here,only to happy to help.x

[therese101]

Honestly you have to go with your personal situation. It is very draining to breastfed a baby, i know this from my own personal experience. But i dont know what it is like to have 2 young children as well. Maybe you need to try a bottle of formula for the last night feed that way she may sleep a little longer through the night so you are not getting up for 4 feeds a night. If you are going to express to bottle feed you need to invest in a really good and efficient pump, have a look on ebay because you may be able to pick one up at a decent price, or ask around with your friends with children because they might have one you can borrow. The one that i had it took me a whole hour to express one feed, which really didn't work for me. She seems like she is thriving so you are doing something really right. Because she is 6 weeks, you will find she is really hungry because she is going through a growth spurt. Good luck in what you choose to do. Also i would suggest posting on the breastfeeding forum as well because there are lots of mums over there that may be going through the same problem who may have other suggestions.

[maoriprincess]

thanks for that i haven't really had a good look around this site so i didn't know there was a breast feeding 1...i will try there too....yeah ive tried the bottle at the last feed thing but all it seemed to do was make her bloated and full of wind which she wouldn't bring up and couldn't sleep....i don't know if it was a bad night but i haven't tried since...but a few times i have accidently fallen asleep...which i don't like as lately ive been so tired that im asleep before my head even hits the pillow i think...i think im leaning more towards the bottle...with my other 2 i bottle fed them as when i got that engorgement i gave up breast feeding but i managed to get through all that with this baby and was wanting to stick with it as ive heard it helps to lose weight....because at the moment i can barely find time for my other 2 kids and cleaning the house let alone working out :-( plus the whole bonding thing and it's better for her its also alot cheaper

[Shayne1989]

I'm also heard that alot of times you can rent a breast pump from the hospital. I would call a lactationc cunsultant in your area and she should be able to tell you where you can. You can also always google "renting a breast pump in -your area-" i know its alot cheaper, all you have to do is by the tubes and stuff like that.They rent you the machine which is defintely the exspensive part.

[trying43]

Hi!  Breastfeeding is a rewarding sacrifice.  I bf both my sons so I understand where you are coming from. It was exhausting.  However, for me, it was a sacrifice I chose to make because I knew that I was giving the best possible thing for my babies.  (not trying to start a debate so please refrain) I knew they were getting stuff that formula just cant give them.  If you can bf your baby for 6 months you are giving them reduced risk of SIDS, reduced risk of respiratory infections, less ear infections, less likely to have allergies, and many other things too long to list not to mention the benefits for you including faster weight loss(i gained a lot of weght with both my boys 80 with one 60 with the other and lost it in 4 months!) and less risk for breast cancer and its cheaper lol.  If you can try pumping.  You can rent hospital grade pumps for a reasonable price. I never could successfully pump and bottle feed because both my boys refused to take any kind of bottle but I started trying it a little late. The breastfeeding board may have other suggestions to help.  I hope you continue and best of luck to you.

[ammanda]

I don't know the strain from breast-feeding cause I didn't do it, I have a 5 and half month old son who i bottle feed.  but hun, if your overwhelmed, u need to do something about it. u being stressed out is not good for your children, or you family like your mom, some people just don't understand, and they may take it to heart when u lash out on them, due to your outstanding amount of stress.. there is NOTHING wrong with formula fed babies. its all just hear say. formula these days has been improved to outstanding lengths to be just as good and healthy as breast-fed babies.. whoever saids well it makes them less sick, or you lose weight faster,, is just something they experienced, doesn't mean it will be the same with others.  take my oldest sister for example, her 2 year old daughter was not breast-fed, and she is perfectly healthy,, just allergy problems, she is perfect weight and one of the smartest kids at her age. her doctor has always been so shocked with how fast she developed.  okay then my middle sister who has a almost 4 year old and a 2 year old who were both breast fed, one cant talk at all and he's 4 years old.. and the two year old is so unhealthy, she has to take medicine to help her gain weight, she eats ALL the time but she don't gain weight.. and they are both sick all the time.. my niece who was bottle fed never gets sick!!! and the whole weight thing, I didn't breast feed and i lost all my baby weight within 4 months, on my own. just by doing what I do everyday, cleaning, walking. u know...  

Its all in everyones head, no matter what you choose to do, it will be the best decision cause mommy knows best,ALWAYS!!!!   you don't want to get so stressed out that you start to lash out on your kids and yell at them.  I've seen that, and its so sad.  once again there's nothing wrong with formula fed children.. if ya can breast feed, more power to ya,  I mean its awesome! but if you cant, your not guilty and you shouldn't feel guilty...  I hope everything works out for you!!!!

[Ashelen]

hey I totally understand your dilemna...both of my babies were breastfed for a little over a month, but for my daughter I had supply issues due to blood loss during delivery (I ended up getting 2 transfusions and my BV was still low!) and near the end she was eating about every 45 minutes because she wasn't getting enough and we were both sobbing during BF sessions..me because I was exhausted and stressed and her because she was hungry. my son was a champion breastfeeder and my supply came in great...but my daughter was always trying to tug on my breasts or pull the baby away and it just became too stressful...she was interrupting his meals all the time (i'm home alone with them during the day) and nothing I did would distract her....so I slowly started switching to formula...we used Nestle Good Start Protect Plus (previously Natural Cultres) for both babies and both are incredibly healthy..my daughter's been sick like once in her two years and my son has never really been sick aside from jaundice at birth.

I know that I cried and prayed and prayed and cried over the decision whether to continue BFing or not...but in the end both times it was best for me and baby to give it up. it was like a weight off my shoulders both times. Formula these days is so amazing that it's OK if you have to give up BFing...but like the other ladies recommend, I would try a pump first and see if that makes a difference. it may still be an issue with your older two...i know that my daughter was a bear every time I tried to use the pump and she was just under 2 when the new baby was born.

but no matter what decision you make you're an awesome mom and your baby got the colostrum which is the vital part...so do what you feel you need to do. BFing is wonderful for baby and it establishes a fantastic bond, but bottle-feeding can too and you don't want the older 2 to feel left out...so just do what feels right to you. good luck with your decision!

[brigadiva]

I breastfed my two children (9 and almost 4 years old) and plan to do so again with this baby (due December).  I will continue that as long as I can and it works well for our family.  I am one who notices a big change around three months with supply and demand and have only been able to nurse until around 6 or 7 months in the past (with some formula supplementation.  My 2nd I may have been able to go longer but returning to work with a children's camp made it impossible to express milk and keep production up).  

Even with the pumping (I had one of the best pumps available to buy) it became very frustrating to keep supply up and like you said, when the babies want to eat they want it right then.  It was very challenging but I stuck with it for the reasons you mentioned:  health of children, cost of formula, weight loss, etc.  But my first-born was a pretty easy-going child so I didn't have many issues while I was bf-ing my second (daughter). I was doing it all by myself at that time, too.  Going through a divorce form a dad who was completely unavailable to me, so I know that makes things harder.  

This time around, who knows.  I am remarried now so that will make things easier, but he'll be at work all day.  My DD is kinda demanding and since she will be home with me all day, it may pose a challenge bf-ing the new baby (I've already had to stop writing several times to go help her hehe).  Point of it all being that I will do what I can and if that works, great.  If not, I will do what works best for my whole family, even if that means switching to bottle.  If you are stressed, that will affect your baby, in addition to your other children, and it is just not healthy for you.  So, if it takes some stress off of you and your kids to do some or all formula, it doesn't make you a bad mother in ANY way!

On a side note, I really don't find that my kids get any less ill than non-bfed children.  They get the same colds passed around at school as their classmates (when my daughter was in daycare she was sick alll the time the first year).  My son even was hospitalized for croupe at 6 months.  My daughter has had cases of MRSA (staph).  Are they healthier than they would have been if I didn't bf?  Who knows.  But like the moms said above, each case is different.  Some kids are pictures of great health and they were bottle fed.  Some are ill a lot and they were breastfed.  And vice-versa.  Some moms take off the weight bf-ing and some don't (didn't really help me much, but that was because I felt so hungry all the time, which bf-ing will do. Also, I was on my rear all day nursing a baby instead of moving around lol.  My kids did finish a bottle in a fraction of the time a feeding from breast took... I guess if I put in a workout during that "spare" time after the bottle, I'd have probably lost the lbs faster, too ;o)  

If I am right, you (like me in the past) feel some guilt about considering not bf-ing anymore.  That is perfectly normal.  We all want to do the best thing for our children.  But you are right, you have your other kids, family members, and yourself to think of, too.  What is right for the baby will be whatever YOU choose because a mom has to think of herself and her needs, and those of her other children, in order to provide the best care for the new little one.  Good luck!

[LosingMyMindInGA]

I have found that pumping and feeding my daughter breastmilk in the bottle is less time consuming.  I pump for about a half an hour after each time that she feeds.  She eats every 3-4 hours and only wakes up once a night now.  (She is 6 1/2 weeks) In the beginning it seemed like everytime I took her off the breast and laid her down she'd wake up and want to eat again.  My 2 yo was constantly getting into things he knew he wasn't supposed to because he knew I couldnt' stop to get him.  When I started pumping I would let him "help" by handing me the breast shields and turning the pump on.  It really seems to help him feel more included, he's not acting out like he was.  This is just something else to consider.  

The other ladies have said things I would have said so I won't repeat them.  It's a hard decisiont o make, but you have to do what you feel is best for EVERYONE involved.  Formula now is much closer to breastmilk than it used to be, it's easier to digest, etc.  My ped told me that the Good Start formulas are as close to breastmilk as you can get in a formula.

[trying43]

Also forgot to mention, it sometimes takes a while to get on a schedule when breastfeeding and since your baby is only 6 weeks that may be the issue.  It took about 3 month to get my kids to that point.   I also plan to bf this baby as well if I can.(had breast surgery so dont know yet if I will be able to, if not then it will be formula here)  Again I hope all works out for you no matter what decision you make.  Good luck to you.

[jenkaye21]

I have four children, and have tried to b/f all of them.  With the first two, I had no luck; #3 nursed for 5 weeks, and #4 nursed for 6 weeks.  Felt like FOREVER.  Especially difficult because of the other kids, the time it took-- it's like you're constantly nursing-- it is exhausting and draining.  
I wanted to reply, though, because while I know 6 weeks of nursing gave my baby a good start, I really regret giving it up "so soon".  I wish I had hung in there longer, because I know it is supposed to get easier, as they get older and need to eat less frequently, especially once they start solids, etc.  It is easy to stop but you can't, unfortunately, decide to start again.  Just some food for thought, you'll need to do whatever is best for your family and your baby will be fine, regardless. =) Good luck!

[mom2ariana]

my daughters pediatrician told me there is not a lot of difference in formula and breastmilk. the only difference is antibodies. the nutrition is exactly the same.
no offense trying43, but i completley disagree with you.
a. not everyone loses weight from breastfeeding. i have a friend that only lost 20 of her 60 lbs and she exclusively breastfed for 6 months. i have another friend who breastfed for longer than that and she said she only lost her a s s
b. there is little to no evidence to support the fact that they get sick less often. my ped told me that he sees breastfed and formula fed babies sick all the time. for ex. he said he saw a breastfed baby with menigitis
c. it does NOT reduce the risk of SIDS. SIDS is associated with sleeping positions, poverty, etc...and there is NO correlation between SIDS and formula. NONE.
d. every antibody you have your baby posesses up until they are 6 weeks old. they acquire it from the placenta.

my baby is formula fed. i find it to be easier, more convienent, better for her ( she is a more healthy weight because i can ENSURE she gets all the proper vitamins ). i find SOME not ALL breastfed babies to be too small. she is right on track growth wise and i am so happy with my decision to not breastfeed. i can make sacrifices for my daughter without breastfeeding.

[julianovak]

I enjoyed breastfeeding my first, but couldnt due to supply issues.... Im not planning on doing it again... although i WISH WISH WISH i had the motivation to do it. I feel guilty now. lol. even before baby is even here. But i think im going to be too into BF while my child will be cooking up a storm... lol.So I wish i knew what to say.... ITs hard to make that choice to go to formula regardless the situtation.

[connorethansmom]

I guess I would look past breastfeeding and see if your problems would really be solved by switching to a bottle.  You sound tired and in need of support.  I hope you can get that.  I have a 2 year old and 4.5 year old and am due in 7 weeks - so I will be right there with you.  I've never bottle fed so I don't know if its any easier on you or not, I would just be cautious to make a decision right now with hormones, lack of sleep, etc.  If it were me I would give it some more time - sounds like your little bundle is thriving.

[Rozy321]

Keep going, mama!  Breastfeeding is so hard the first few months but then it gets much faster and easier.  I guarantee that BFing is not the reason your kids are having trouble with the new baby; they will have a period of adjustment to a new baby no matter what you are feeding.  Consider buying (and learning to safely use) a sling so you can feed hands-free and be more available to them.  

If you need more encouragement just go google "benefits of breastfeeding," or (not as a scare tactic, just FYI, I wish I'd known) "formula Enterobacter sakazakii" or "Similac recall" and hopefully that will push you in the right direction :-)  It's so good for your body, too!  It's NO money out of your pocket, it reduces your risk of breast cancer and burns calories!!  No formula can do that :-P

[ammanda]

formula will not hurt!!!! go ahead if you want, u dont have to listen to all the benefits or non benefit.. just do whats right for you and your children.. like said, formula is pretty much the same as breast milk these days!!!!!

[trying43]

For those of you did not read my post please go back and do so again, no where in my posts do I say Formula is bad.   For those those of you who dont think breastfeeding can help decrease certain illnesses or SIDS(never said formula caused it either, simply said that breastfeeding helps reduce it by 50% see the dr sears website for that one or reuters has an article about, thats 2 of many) or that breastmilfk and formula are the same, look it up, they are not the same, there are key differences that cannot be duplicated by formula.  Here is where I got my info from in case you want to find any of the info yourself Academy of breastfeeding medicine, La Leche League, American academy of family physicians, CDC, American college of OBs &GYNs, Office on womens health, Maternal and child health bureau, dr sears, and there are more.  I would be glad to answer any questions via email but I will not debate on the board. For those of you who are interested in starting a debate this is not the forum for that.  This is a support board where you share what your experiences and not bash people or act rude.

[maoriprincess]

wow thank you everyone for all your oppinions, i didn't mean for any drama to come out of it im simply a young mum(22) of 3 that has no one physically i can turn to for help, the father to my 6 week old baby i kicked out when i found out i was pregnant as he constantly lied to me and would go out and not come home for at least 3 days and i found out from my other 2 kids(they have same dad but not same as 6 wk old) that he was hitting them so i kicked him out.

The next week i went for a clymdia test as you do when pregnant, and i wasn't worried i thought sweet as i have only been with hime..nothing to worry about then a few days later the midwife called saying  i had clymidia! it didn't even cross my mind that he had been cheated...silly me beleived when he said he was with his mates he really was....turns out i was wrong! we were together for almost a year..( i hate to talk about him i still have so much anger towards him) not even so much the STD part but the hurting my kids part just infuriates me to the core!!!!! i just can't forgive that ever!..

Anyway i never met his family (only his mum 2ce when she came here) so i don't know where they stay or anything..anyway i told her what had happened and that he wasn't welcome near my house and wasn't allowed to see baby but she was more than welcome to as she is the grandma after all but what got me was when i told her what happened she didn't defend him being her son and all and didn't sound suprised? it made me think he's done it before or something???...anyway my point to all that was i cannot contact them to help me in any way..not that i would as i don't know them but i know what it's like to grow up not knowing my fathers side of the family...he wont be around just like my dad wasn't but i at least want the grandma around...and as for going to my family for help....pfffttt that's a whole nother story...my mum is great but she works nights and days and doesn't need the stress and i did make them after all sadly the father to my 2 oldest kids 2 1/2 and 4 is with a really young girl (16) that is insecure of me because she slept with him while we were still together. She wont allow him to see his kids but he's stupid for listening! so they miss out 2 and they absolutly love their dad...


Anyways thank you for reading my story and i will deffinatly go over them a few times and talk to my doc and see what he says to about it both of my other kids were not BFed for long (about 2 weeks MAX) and are fine...my boys had whooping coff and had to be admitted to hospital aswell..and my baby girl(Jaziah ) so far has had the flu...i thought i had made up my mind earlier and was gonna go to bottle feeding but now i can't even remember what my excuse for that was!...i love breatfeeding my girl i feel such a special bond i just feel so bad for my other 2 im constantly growling them for what they should'nt be doing(don't get me wrong i praise them for the good things they do) they really are the best kids i could ask for ( i basically raised 4 of my useless drug taking prositute auntys 8 kids so i know) but lately i just seem to be growling them heaps...i think alot is im over tired but also they might be trying to test what they can get away with while mum is busy...yeah? or am i just trying not to make myself feel as bad as i do???...

[tarajanes]

Trying43
No one is starting a debate.just stating there preference.I fed my children via bottle.somtimes women unable to breastfeed.for me didnt want to get my boobs,out in public :)  people were just stating that bottle milk is just as good.

maoriprincess
Told you there were some helpful ladies on here.I hope they answered some of your questions here.all the best to you.

[bimbicat7]

Keep going you wonderful mummy!!! you are doing the most amazing job! keep it up! you are giving your daughter GOLD there is no way that formula is anywhere near as good as breastmilk its nade from cows milk!! we are not cows our babies are meant to drink human milk its made just for you individual baby !  everything she needs can come from you! stay strong you little ones will adjust with my second he was a little difficult at feeding times when i was feeding baby but i made it a special time for us all and when id feed id have a special snack made up for him and let him watch a special show on tv or read special book with me so he didnt feel left out, breastfeeding gets so much easier after the first few mths then it will just all fall into place :) keep going if u can your doing amazing your a very strong woman well done! x

[nataliexxx]

my daughter megan was born at 9lbs and my daughter chloe was born at 8lb 3oz. both were bottle fed. both are strong healthy little girls. at least you have been breast feeding which is fantastic. but in my personal opinion, if i was you, i would stop. its far too much for you, esp with two other little people to contend with. your baby has had all the important bits.

its up to you, but give yourself a break. you have done fantastic.

[ammanda]

The OP has responded and said thanks to everyone and she will make her descion now.. so everyone needs to stop with the whole breast is better crap... There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with Formula. Im so sick of hearing haters out there. I dont care if u breast feed, thats amazing my eyes, but some people would rather formula feed. so if you cant be a good supporter of both, then dont respond.  she didnt ask at all what was best, shes just trying to look out for her children. and Trying, this is not for you!!!!!