fiance/baby daddy drama. help..

[mylittlemiracle13]

So I've been engaged to my fiance for a year & he's the father of my unborn baby. I don't know if I'm over reacting or being selfish but he always puts me & the baby second. He makes plans with me & then all of a sudden he changes them. He stays with me at my house sometimes But he always changes his plans with me to be with his family or friends. Am I over reacting about me feeling like he puts me & his babt 2nd from his family & friends?

[sharichajewski]

Thats a hard situation to be in. I think once baby comes he will realize you and baby are his family. U should.never be put secobd u should b first. I would talk to him and tell him your concerns. Most men go through a phase when they are having a baby. They think they will never see their friends or family again, they wont b able to just go out whenever they want and sometimes they feel like they are sacraficing everything for this little baby they havent met abd prob havent connected with. Talk with him and see how he feels because chances are he is scared. I would definitely suggest figuring this all out before you get married and make sure you are happy because this will be the rest of your life and you dont want to spend it always comibg in second. You and babe deserve the best so make sure hes going to.give you that. I wish you all the best hun and chin up you will figure it out.

[Lindsmit]

I hope the same for you! Good luck

[mylittlemiracle13]

Thank you so much for helping, I'll try my best to be positive in all this I just hope things work out between me & him :)

[Lindsmit]

Im so sorry you have to feel like this. But men are men and truely that time apart he probably needs. If you guys spent more together it might be damaging to your relationship. Instead of getting bumbed about how he wont change, change your way of thinking. :) try filling that time alone with things he would hate. Paint your nails do your hair watch a chick flick with a friend. I think if you change you way of thinking you can use the alone time as something good. Things arnt going to get better if your always mad at him it will quickly become a habit to think like that. And your relationship will be ruined. Chin up. :) i hope things work out for you.

[mylittlemiracle13]

I hope he does & I'm 18 also I graduated school last year but I've been trying to save money every time he gets paid we save 100 but we recently just started :/ he doesn't seem to get how expensive it's going to be once the baby is here cause he always wastes his money on stuff I don't even know what but I'm sure its something stupid :/ I want to get a job but where I live its very hard for a pregnant girl to get a job.

[mizy_g]

Maybe once he sees that your ready to leave hell become a better husband/ fiance and dad and steps up. Yes being told your truths does hurt to anyone. But it is harder to leave him cuz you have no income. neither do i but um 18 n just getting but if school. try saving money?

[mylittlemiracle13]

Yeah I just stay quite cause it hurts to know that they might just be right & I don't work so he's the only one bringing in money its not much but we haven't really saved for the baby either I'm just overwhelmed with him & his behavior I'm hoping he would change but it doesn't seem like he will & I don't want to go through this alone but I'm thinking I might have to :/

[mizy_g]

Oh that no bueno either. sigh that's hard then my dad tells me things to sometimes but i stay quite and my mom too :/ .

[mylittlemiracle13]

Yeah I do but they always seem to tell just leave him, he's not worth it & me & him won't last they bring me down so I just don't talk to them about my issues with him :/

[mizy_g]

Welcome and thanks and yup you can message me if you need a hearing ear lol. and i hope so to in more month and well live together. I hope he listens soon. Do you have family to be with that's how i deal with feeling alone.

[mylittlemiracle13]

I know I do talk to him but he never listens I just feel so alone in this pregnancy but thank you so much for listening & helping me I hope everything works out the way you want with your boyfriend as well :)

[mizy_g]

I dont know why guys seem to get it. with or with out clues or just telling them straight up. Grr ! I hope talking to him works he should know that your are first. and you can try talking to his mom but you can't teach an old dog new tricks /: and staying away is better because of your babies health. Idk if im much help but talking does help and letting your feelings out.

[mylittlemiracle13]

I don't feel like I'm over reacting I tell him like me & him are a family now me & his baby should come first then anyone but he said it himself that his family comes first then me & his baby which hurts me because he's first in my eyes & he's a drinker & smokes when he's with his mom that's why I don't like him being there at times cause that's all they do its really annoying. He expects me to be with his family too but I can't be around his mom all she does is smoke in front of me I rather stay away then harm my baby but he just doesnt seem to understand. :/

[mizy_g]

I don't think so you guys are a family now and he has to understand that you and the baby are first now. andge should start getting use to that idea he can't be a momma boy no more he is a grown *** man. but mines did that too we were chilling and just go home from the mall and his friend called him to go play soccer. all he did was walk me into my house then he said "i should get going now"  but if his friend would have never called he would have stayed longer. i think your not over reacting. he shouldn't call you everytime he gets wasted especially in your conditions. smh /.- the only thing im thankful is that he's not a big drinker and doesn't do drugs.

[mylittlemiracle13]

I'm sorry your going through this as well. I hate it. & he always wants to be "alone" he never texts me or calls me when he's out with his friends only calls me like at 4 in the morning to pick him up. He gets mad because he's supposedly never with his family which he is I personally though don't get along with his family but I don't keep him away. Tonight I wanted him to stay with me we were suppose to watch movies & he was fine with it & all of a sudden his mom calls & he changes all his plans & goes to stay at his house cause he wants to be with his mom who drinks & smokes 24/7 that's why I don't like being around her but am I being selfish ? :/

[mizy_g]

I feel the same way sometimes. /: i asked him for a favor and he said no and that day he usually goes plays soccer. last time i wanted to stay over at his house and he said he was to tired to come get me after work. but when his friends ask him to go he says yes right away. and we havent got anything for the baby neither.we usually spend Sundays together if i get lucky i see him twice a week. /: were moving in July i hope he changes that's why i still give him freedom still i just hope he will change once were actually together. I totally know how you feel