Claims she is preganant, is she lying? What do I do?

[Pawwllo]

OK, here goes..

I am a 22 year old male. About 2 months ago I met up with a 17 year old girl I met online. We had sex on the first date. I didnt use a condom, but pulled out. I was aware she was not on any birth control.

After we had sex, she went weird, trying to make me tell her what I thought of her and what my impressions of her were (on a 1st date!). Looking back, I think she was a bit attached before we had even met. When I wouldnt answer (just cos I thought it was an odd thing to be talking about) she ignored me for about half an hour refusing to tell me what the problem was. I didnt want a 2nd date. I even had to turn her down for more sex. She wasnt happy at all, saying I was rude and everything, but we did eventually agree to be mates.

About a week later she tells me online that she has something to tell me and I wont like it. After causing some drama with me repeatedly saying u might as well tell me now, she says she was a week late. I told her to get tested. I read about it online for her and found that the best time to take a pregnancy test was after 10 days. On that day she text me telling me shes pregnant.

At first I believed her. I for one cannot understand what anyone could possibly gain from lying about this, but apparantly some women do it. Little did I know a girl has actually done it to my brother before (lied about it)! Anyway, when I found out it messed with my head a little and I was straight off to go get a bottle of vodka which had me pretty drunk that night. Silly of me I know, but she rang and I talked to her about it that night (still drunk). Eventually she decides she has to keep it.

Thing is, she is doing some very odd things and I have no idea weather its hormones doing it or a cover up. I've never understood women that well in general. Anyway, here is what doesnt quite add up:

1) We live in different towns. I've arranged to meet up with her 3 times now. Each time she has turned her phone off on the day and stood me up. Its the same routine. 2-3 days later I'll get some text about something else like this just never happened. I tell her off about it, then she has clever ways of twisting it round like, 'are you going to hold this against me forever?' I didnt know how to answer that one - it just wasnt the point at all. This is odd because you would think if she really was pregnant, she would be desperate to have me involved somehow. Right? I've offered to be there and everything, this is why I thought it was a good idea to meet up and discuss things. She seemed to think so too until the days to meet came. It almost seems like she is just buying time..One of the times she was even on the internet about an hour and a half after we were supposed to meet. Its very unlikely she could have got back home in that time, therefore unlikely she had come down at all like she claimed she did.

2) She has already had 2 early scans. I dont really understand how pregnancy is counted, but one was 5 weeks after we had sex (4 weeks since her missed period) and her 2nd was 2 weeks later. This doesnt seem right at all. I know they can do one scan if there are any problems, but she hasnt told me of any. I text her about 5 hours ago asking if there were any problems with either of the scans and shes just ignored that. I should mention that she has already had 1 miscarriage before. She said something about there being a problem with the thyroid gland, it miscarried and messed up one of her ovaries. Could this have something to do with it?

Anyway, there is more to this whole crazy situation and I'm sure I'll think of it as the discussion goes. just for the record, I want to do the right thing here. If she has this baby there is no way I'm leaving it without a father. The problem I have now is how do I go about finding out weather she is lying or not? This is of course even harder considering she has so far refused to meet up (I havnt seen her since the apparant conception). If she isnt how do I go about getting on good terms with her when she is constantly looking for drama out of nothing (very unbalanced girl - she even cuts herself and claims its not a problem cos it makes her feel good)?

I just really want to do whats right here. Any help much appreciated..

[JoyRenee]

The way conception works is that you ovulate TWO WEEKS before your next period. You had sex with her when she was DUE for her period. Therefore, if she really is pregnant, it's not yours.

And you cannot find out you're pregnant until about 2 weeks after sex via urine test. Definitely can't find out 1 week after via urine test.

You're being taken on a ride.

[Pawwllo]

I can respect all of that, I really can. I dont care about my pride or anything anymore, I just want to know what to do to make this right (though hopefully without her playing games with me for the rest of our lives). Is there any way at all to get through to women who are feeling like this?

btw she text me saying she was havin a scan that day for the first one. She told me about the 2nd one in advance. I said I couldnt go, but asked if she could post me the scans. She then said she would post me both and that she feels like she is doing this alone. I dont know if this was a bad idea, but I text her back asking if she would feel comfortable speaking to my mum, saying she seems to understand better (she had offered to do this when I told her). About 2 days later I got a prank call. I didnt ring back because I was quite drunk at the time so instead text her to tell her I dint have calling credit, asking what was up. No response. 2 days later (yesterday) I text her asking if there was a problem with either of the scans. No response.

This is where I am at now...

[worriedbabe]

at best, you are dealing with a pregnant woman. and, believe me, they can be hell. it's the hormones. she would not be understanding about you missing the scans AT ALL - even if you had good reason.
I actually agree that it should have been a joint decision...or at least that she considered your opinion. at the end of the day though, it is her call - that's how the law works.
All i can think to suggest is that you text once in a while to ask how she is and how the pregnancy is going...and fairly soon to say you're upset not to have been at a scan so far and when is the next one so you can go.
If she has entirely shut you out...there's not a lot you can do about it at this stage.

[Pawwllo]

Yea I see what you mean, its not for me to decide and I honestly do respect that, but the reason I'm bringing it up as a dilema is that I think we should at least talk about it face to face or with a councellor as we are both involved. I suppose thats not for me to decide. Point taken.

And no I dont know where she lives, otherwise I'd have been round there. I don't know how she could possibly be pist I missed them, one she told me about on the day and the other I couldnt get time off work for. Not much I can do about that, though saying that its not like I'm dealing with an understanding person here.

[worriedbabe]

and if she has been lying...i don't understand why she'd let you know when the scans were. maybe she's pist at you for missing them

[worriedbabe]

sorry hun, that isn't your dilemma, that's hers. in the eyes of the law it's entirely her decision what she does about the pregnancy ( if there is one ). I know that's not a good MORAL viewpoint...but it is the legal one. women ovulate usually 14 days before they have their period. the egg lives for 24 hours maximum. on that info, not too likely she's conceived by you BUT we cannot be absolutely certain when she ovulated here...it's just an indicator. She would have been nearly 9 weeks pregnant when she had her first scan ( pregnancy is counted from the first day of her last period, not when conception occured). i fail to see why she'd have another 12 days later...unless a problem was found that needed monitoring. they don't like to do too many ultrasounds. do you know where she lives? i'd be inclined to turn up there with a pregnancy test.