[OT]:Stop telling me I'm too young!!!!!!

[itcouldhappen]

I'm about to rant ramble and scream!!!! Okay, if you didnt know I'm 20 years old.. AND, I'm TTC. If I'm not hurting you, then leave me ALONE about my age!!! Heres what happened. I was telling a close friend that I'm trying to get pregnant right?? Well, she says, YOUR TO YOUNG!! You need to make sure you can support a baby on your own!! Blah blah blah, she said its only because she cared bout me. If she cared about me she would support my decision, and be happy about it as I was going to make her a God Mother. She P I S S E D me off lastnight!! I dont need to know if I can support a baby on my own. I'm MARRIED. For two years even!! My husband isn't going anywhere. He even sent me a text message this morning that said, Your the air I breathe, my heart and soul, I love you with all I've got........ so yeah, I doubt I'll be in this alone. People need to leave me alone about my age. If your ready, then your ready..!!! she wants me to go out to parties and drink... But thats not me. I want to be a mother!! Is that too much to understand. Oh and she does not know I want her to be a God Mother. Not going I truly decide until, I actually get pregnant.

[itcouldhappen]

to truly decide*

[NikiNoo]

Well, i do tend to agree most young mums should really think. BUt you sound like you have your head screwed on. So, good for you! It's what we are put on the earth to do. Hope you have your BFP soon!

[Brown Eyed Gurl]

sounds like you have good head on your shoulders and if you are married and you and your hubby both are ready to TTC I see nothing wrong with it.....my husband and I started TTC 4 years ago....we were ready but ended up having 2 MC's and are just finally expecting our first children a boy and a girl so I don't think age is a factor if you are married settled down and are past the partying stage I so go for it.....

[itcouldhappen]

I really do have my head screwed on. We have things planned out, how much for this and that, what schools they'd be going to, if day care is needed. Seriously, we do! We have wanted a baby for quite some time. If you feel your ready, stable, and able you should go for it!

[degriffdog]

I had my first baby 3 days after I turned 21.  I think you should be fine.  It took my parents a while to get a hold of the idea but it wasn't their decision, it was between myself and my husband.  Good luck to you ttc.

[kris777]

I think that is great:)  It seems that women these days are waiting later to have babies so I think people's whole mentality has changed on this.  Personally, I always wanted to be a young mother and I had my first son at 24........still a little later than I wanted.  I bet your friend is more concerned with getting to go out and party than motherhood.  I would give her a chance to realize this is what you really want.

[JoyRenee]

I got pregnant at 19, gave birth to her after I turned 20. Was I young? Yes but I'm an AWESOME mom. Age has nothing to do with it... MATURITY has something to do with it. If you feel you're mature and can handle a baby, then it's YOUR choice. Besides, you and your husband are adults who can make this decision. Unless she's sitting in the bedroom with you guys every night, it's really not any of her business. She needs to support you because of what YOU decide.

[Fay1984]

I assume that everyone who is trying to conceive is following a plan ( ie they know that they will support their baby and how they are going to do that , they must be prepared for everything) , the fact that the mother and father decided to have a baby concludes that they will take responsibility of their actions , so why should you get upset if she is trying to tell you her opinion just answer her that you guys have already decided and remember it’s just an opinion you can tell her all she could do is to support you , but at the end she is going to say and do what she thinks is right . if you are prepared and you have a first decision,go on and precede with your plans without any hesitation ,hope you get your bfp soon

[minbumthy]

If you feel you are ready and that is what both you and your husband want then go for it......shoot my parents were 18 when they got married and 21 when they had me....I was 24 when I had my first child but I do have to say that you have to be completely selfless.....you will loose a lot of freedom and in affect a little of your own identity when you have a child......just make sure youve had enough time to be you because you wont have that freedom back for at least 7 years if not more.....and always remember you are really young and have plenty of time still to have children......besides its all about where you are in your life at that given momment......I change my mind all the time about what I want and a lot has changed for me between what I wanted at 20 and where Iam now at 25......

[Fay1984]

sorry firm* decision

[itcouldhappen]

I told her, this is what I really want. She still said as of right now she can't support me.
Ive heard I'm too young from many people... Dont they know back in the day, girls had babies at 13+? Today's world is different and its mostly frowned upon from older people. I am more than stable, capable, and willing to set aside my life to bring another one in...



Mainly, I just wish she would support me.

[pmperez]

If this is what you were looking for it wasnt deleted just got knocked down to the bottom

[sweetangel7]

Personally, I think that there is a fair amount of younger women who just 'want' a baby and never think about whether or not they and their partner have the means to provide for it.  IF you and your husband can provide then I don't think it is anybody's business to tell you or anyone else who can provide for a child whether or not they are the 'right' age.  HOWEVER, for young women whose only plan is government assistance, I disagree with them having children they cannot take care of because that is not a PLAN.

[martikadragoon]

I know how you feel. My MIL said we were "TOO YOUNG" etc.  etc.  well, I'm 21 and been married almost 3 yrs. (Sept9= 3 yrs, I'm due sept. 13!!)

But there were so many other ppl around me supporting us that it didn't bother me too much. :)   PLUS- Why the h*ll should someone bag on you about being too young when your married and stable?

I don't get it. People now adays don't focus on the REAL problem!

[itcouldhappen]

it was deleted. It wasn't showing any posts I already made on here... And someone undid the deletedness haha. It wasn't pushed down, I went to look for it, and browneyed-said it must have gotten deleted by mistake. :)

Just happy its back!!!

[itcouldhappen]

it drives me crazy when they use governent assistance for that!! if they know better I mean!!!


I'm having a baby one day, and I'll be complete and CONTENT!! I can't wait.

[Linzola1]

Hey I completely understand where you are comming from. I got pregnant in September 2007 and had a miscarriage and my DH and I decided to go ahead and try agian imeditally. Everyone kept telling me that I was too young and like you I have a great husband who is not going anywhere. I told everyone to kiss my well you know... I got pregnant agian in October and well everyone shut up and now could not be happier.... Best Of Luck to you and dont let anyone influence your decision.... If you need to talk PM me.... By the way I am 19 and 38.3 weeks pregnant and will be 20 on June 21st..

[Riot_Queen]

As long as you got yourself together, and have a clean, loving home to bring your baby into, got a steady job to buy him/her things they need, then I don't see a problem.
18 is considered to be ADULT.
After 18 no one can tell you $HIT.

If you want a baby, then go right ahead girl, ain't nobody gunna stop you. It's your decision and if your friend wants to be a lil b*tch-
Then tell her to f*ck off.

You're 20 years old, you seem to have a good head on your shoulders, and a husband you can rely on-
what's the f*ckin problem here.

Sorry it just makes me angry when people poke their heads in peoples' businesses every which way they can.
I got pregnant on ACCIDENT.
I'm 18, I got a sturdy head on my sholders, my fiance of almost 2 years now, is NOT leaving my side no matter WHAT he said to me...
We have a a clean, loving home to bring our baby back to...
And we got the cash.
And everyone seems to have a problem with me.

"You need to give that baby up for adoption! You're too young!"

FUUUUUUCCCKKKKK that.
I went through so much trouble these past 6 months, I got 3 more to go, I ain't just gunna throw all the effort I put into having a healthy pregnancy AWAY.

Plus, my mother was adopted, and I see how much it bothers her that her parents "Didn't want her."
And she also just pushed me away growing up- she was never there for me... and these past few years, she basically just threw me away and didn't want much to do with me after she got with her new boyfriend.
I'm NOT just gunna throw my baby away like that. I don't f*cking think so.

Okay I'm gunna go now cuz I'm all p*ssed off now. lol
sorry

[itcouldhappen]

Riot- your so awesome!! I love how you worded everything!! Its nice to have someone who understands!!!
Not that you other ladies dont, I still appreciate you!!!!!
I feel better and if my so called friend wants to say something about it, then too bad.
I'm working on my family, and I'm happy to lose part of my life to bring another one in!

[babyscience]

I think as long as you are in a stable relationship...which you are there is no problem with it.  However I will tell you I have a few friends that had babies at 20 and they say now they feel they missed out on a lot because everyone else was going out and didnt have kids...or were even married for that matter.  But that is not to say you will feel that way at all.  But I am sure you will do fine with the support of you hubby.  I think it is extremely hard for single young mothers....hats off to them....or to any single mother for that matter!

[rachie204]

sweetie dont worry about your friend...I think she was probably trying to be helpful but it sounds like she made a poor attempt.  My motto is if I want your advice i'll ask for it...LOL.  I had my son about one month before I turned 17.  I was not married and I could not support myself or my son, luckly I had an awesome support team. Still I was a wondeful mom. I am now 21 and after one year of trying and one miscarriage we are pregnant again.  I am now married to the most wonderful man in the world.  Age has nothing to do with being a good mom.  It's about being selfless and loving that child enough to do whatever needs to be done.  I was just as good of a mother when I was 17 as I am now at 21.  Best of luck!

[itcouldhappen]

rachie204- thank you!!!! I feel
much better. I wish
more people were understanding like you are where I live. It would make things better!!

[mj_mommy_manda]

Me and you are pretty much in the same boat besides the fact that you have a husband.  I broke up with my boyfriend right before I found out I was pregnant.. and although i have had the oppurtunity to move back in and get back together with him i chose not to because of a few reasons but anyway.  I have a fulltime job at a hospital and honestly Im making the same amount of money as a lot of 30-50 year old women here doing the same job im doing! and I have awesome insurance.  Its 90% plus i get a 50% provider discount on all my doctors appt when i come to this hospital/clinic.  So Im paying almost nothing for my doctors appointments, and working my butt off to save money for this baby.  NO ONE has the right to tell you you are too young.. Especially your best friend! your best friend should be supportive not bring you down! My "best friend" is pregnant too but shes a month behind me and it seems like she gets jealous everytime I talk about my baby shower, or ultrasounds, or baby names.  She also asked me to have my baby shower in July instead of the end of August because she didnt want it to be in the same month as hers because we have a lot of the same friends.. I was like umm... first of all i think at 7 months along is even a little early to have a baby shower so why are you trying to have yours at 5 1/2? and 2nd of all I want to have my baby shower before all my friends go back to college.  So I told her that maybe she should have hers during Thanksgiving break seeing as how all our college friends would be back.. and shes like "I guess its a possibility but IDK" Sometimes I just want to slap her! shes only 14 weeks along!! im 20! but anyway. So yeah best friends can be annoying to say the least.  Maybe your friend is jealous that you are married and ready to settle down.  Maybe part of her wants that.  I know my friend gets jealous everytime I bring up my ex because him and i get along really well and he comes to all of my appointments and her babys dad has been nonexistant.  Its stupid and annoying I know but secretly even people you have always considered your "best friends" always want to have better than you. But anyway.. NO YOU ARE NOT TOO YOUNG.. theres 13 year old girls that have babies everyday.. who cares.  Age is a number.. Maturity and selflesness is what matters.. and good luck *baby dust*  <3 Amanda

[mommyoftwo28644]

Girl don't worry about friends and so called friends. I know that they are important to you but sometimes they don't know whats best for you. I got pregnant with my son when I was a senior in high school (unplanned) we just had been talking about getting engaged and found out I was pregnant. Well my plans were changed, we got engaged and then told my parents. Thank goodness my parents and in laws were very supportive. I had my son right after my 18th birthday and I do feel like I got left out on some things, but I wouldn't change it for nothing. Luckily I could go and do since my parents and inlaws were able to keep him we could go and do and get out and have a good time. I did wait until I was 21 to start TTC # 2  and when I was 22 close to 23 when I had her and we are currently TTC #3 and I am almost 25 with a head on my shoulders. I would have loved to go to college right after hs and get a degree in something and had a normal wedding (instead of being 6 months pregnant) but I am currently working on a two year degree/ BUT THE MAIN THING IS, is if you both want it it should matter how old or young you are as long are both ready. GOOD LUCK and I hope you get your BFP soon!