please please please help. i dont know what to do??

[bobbysbaby122509]

I found out yesterday that I am pregnant. I told my boyfriend of over 2 years, and he told me that I had to get an abortion or he was going to leave me. I dont want to kill my baby. To me it seems absolutely wrong , its not the babys fault it was born. What should I do? I cant raise this baby on my own. And he told me that theres no way he'd stay. He doesnt want it to mess up his life, yet he doesnt even consider what hes doing to me. Please help me!

[elsey31]

hi
i know excactly how you feel same happened to me about ten yr ago
i was with him for a year and he threatned the same on me ileft him or should isay he left me i was stuck for 2 months and ididnt know what i had let me self in for as ihad a boy of four with specail needs ididnt know what to do in the end iknew i couldnt cope so igot bk with him and he payed for my abortion i knew then ihad done the right thing i coudnt be a single mum twice wernt right
i couldnt cope iwould of gone into amentall hospital all my mates said oh he be bk he wont leave you if you had his baby
i couldnt take that chance
me and him were on and off i had differnent men when we had split up then we get bk to ghter
we have been solid for 3 years now and no splitting up got engaged too pass me driving test and now im pregnant just found out
so we are both really pleased ive waited ten yr or more to have his baby and im so flaming happy but im trying not to gt me hopes up as imight have eptopic
but i do hope what ever you do decide i hope it goes well
ps think carefully as i regretted mine lots after i did it it was horrible but then i got used to it as time goes past you gt over it but you still have your doubts of whter you done the riht thing or not
make sure its your descion dont gt bullied into it by a man or family
i regret it now but as i say its gets better in time andi still think bout it and god my life woul of been shite with a baby and my son and me no money etc and no time for my son when he needed my full attention how was that right
now his 14 im ready to have this baby ilove it all ready im only early but i so want it good luk hun x:)
im thinking of you
ps men shouldnt put us in that sitiaution threatening etc x

[Tryingforbaby2]

It is so hard and scary to be pregnant so young but it sounds like you have a great support group with his family. Congrats and I am so glad that things are looking up for you and the bf. Just remember that whether he stays or goes, you can do it. You will be in my prayers!

[5n1]

I am just now reading this, so sorry for my delayed response...and I did see where you had sit down and talked to him...since you are both so very young, you are going to need mental support from both sides of the families..

But, I did want to add, he HAD said he would take the baby away and give it up for adoption, well the other ladies answered that properly, I just wanted to add....EVEN "if" you did lose custody, somehow, he STILL could NOT give the baby up for adoption...The courts would have to sever your rights, which rarely happens...If they did deem you unfit, the would try supervised visitations, followed by unsupervised, prior to revoking your rights...

So, dont worry sweetie, you can do it...and even at your age there are plenty of support groups out there that will help you and him....If there is only one piece of beneficial advice I can offer, it is PLEASE whatever you do when baby is born, STAY IN SCHOOL, get your education!!!!

Good luck to both of you

[bobbysbaby122509]

lots of thanks to everyone! and we sat down and talked with his parents. He came around. He called just a few minutes ago and told me that he'd be there for me no matter what. Im really happy right now. Now I can have my family, and not worry soo much about being all alone with OUR baby. thank you all sooo much for your support. I know he was being a jerk, but i think its just because he was seriously scared. Im only 15 and he'll be turning 16 in march, we're both scared to death. And I think his dad talked to him. It seems that he always feels better when he can talk to some. And he couldnt talk to me at the time. Just please keep us and our baby in your prayers. God knows we need it!

[amandamae1126]

Like the other girls said, he can't take away your baby just because he has money. And he CERTAINLY can not put the baby up for adoption without your signature and consent. I am so sorry all the bull he is putting you through. You will have a tough road ahead, but it's worth it. I do hope that you can stay strong and not allow him to bully you into abortion. If you need support, we are here.

[bobbysbaby122509]

thank you guys soo much(: and i'll keep you posted on the baby.

[Ashelen]

I agree with everyone else. ditch the jerk and celebrate! you're gonna be a mommy, sweetie! i don't even know you and i'm excited for you. don't worry, Richie Rich will be paying you child support no matter what he wants, and he has to prove you're unfit if he wants to take the baby away which no amount of money is going to do.

soi forget his sorry @$$ and be happy for yourself AND remember....you are NOT alone you have your little baby now too!! :-)

[baby_edgar]

I agree with all the girls, if he says he is going to leave you if you dont kill your baby then he is not worth it! All that baby needs is someone to love it and take care of it and you are that someone!

As the ladies said no matter how much money his family has they cant take your baby away unless you are proven to be an unfit mother. And they can not put your baby p for adoption without your concent.

Keep you head up and stand by your baby and if i was you i would be giving the baby your last name

[Clysta]

I agree. It's very difficult to find a mother unfit, and just because his family has more money means jack. I would definitely get far away from him as he clearly has little regard for your feelings or the life of his unborn child. There are many support programs for single mothers, and you CAN do it alone. Good luck.

[StinaKaye]

I like amys answer too!! And she's right he has to prove u unfit and no amount of money can prove that as long as your a good person and a good mom he can not take the baby from u even if u don't have money to support it yourself!!! Good luck hope all is well and I'd b quite interested what his parents have to say and if he realizes he's being an ***... So please keep me posted!! Btw if they agree with him I wouldn't even put his name on birth certificate!! Make things easier for u in thr long run!!!

[amy_1985]

Hi,
wow!! i bet you feel your in a very sticky situation, i definatly agree with stinakaye, if this man really cared about u hun hed stick around no matter WHAT to love and support you to me he seems like a very selfish person, he clearly isnt taking into consideration your feelings and your bond with your unborn baby.
If he really didnt want a baby he should have put something on the end of it! He knows unprotected sex can lead to pregnancy. (unwanted or not)
Now i also feel that as soon as us women find out were pregnant you naturally build a very strong mothering bond but a man doesnt feel that way until they hear a heart beat,feel a kick or even until the baby is born it brings grown men to tears maybe you should sit down with him and discuss that you are in no way aborting this baby and he eather sticks by you or jogs on!
Also this about he will take you to court and have the baby adopted is pure rubbish hun he has to PROVE you are an unfit mother and the baby is negleted they definatly wont just take his word for it!
Whatever you decide i wish you luck and although you clearly love this man his love for you should be definatly questioned.
There is nothing a man can do us women cant do twice as good (ha) also theres millons of single parents in this world even men bringing up children alone.
You have to have a good think hun dont you deserve better??

Good luck chick i hope you have a happy and healthy 9 months

[bobbysbaby122509]

Thank you for the support. But his family has alot more money then mine does. He told me that even if I decided to keep it he'd take me to court and get the baby taken away, and then give it up for adoption. This is driving me crazy. I love the boy to death. But Im not killing MY baby or ANY baby for him. Your right , hes not worth it. I just dont want to see my baby get taken away. We're supposed to sit down and talk with his parents about it. Im hoping they can talk him out of this stupid stuff he's  saying. But thank you for the support. My mom also had me young, She had me when she was 16 and she took care of me and my brother, went to school, went to work, graduated early, and is now a RN at CHH(:

[StinaKaye]

If he says to abort baby and threatens he will leave if u don't then honestly he's not worth ur time or the killing of ur unborn child.. And even if u did abort the child he would end up leaving u anyway so then u would b bf less and babyless and have a guilty conscious that u killed ur child for a worthless person.. So my advice to u is to leave him and trust me u can do it on your own.. I have raised 3 boys all by myself and I an doing great.. I got preggo with my 1st @ 17 and have never aborted any pregnancy and my life is not ruined.. There is hard times but there are great times too... And trust me he can not just skip out on this child he will have to pay child support whether he likes it or not so he's better off just staying with u as well... Maybe he'll come around but as for this moment I'd tell him to get lost u don't need him to take care of ur child! I really hope u take my advice.. Trust me honey u don't need any man to help raise a child any women can do it herself!!! Good luck!!!!