Disgusted. This can't be normal!?

[Lilsis90]

I know this could stir some people up, but I have always been this was.  I am 20 years old married to a 27 year old man whom I love dearly.  He wants kids, I don't.  It's not just that I don't want kids, but the idea of being pregnant DISGUSTS me.  
No matter how hard I try, I cannot get excited about the possibility of being pregnant, about having something live inside me.  It reminds me of a parasite.  I hate the pregnant woman look, I hate the thought of not being in control of my mood and being sick.  The sound of a crying baby makes my skin crawl.  I can be around other people's kid, but I can never bring myself to touch or hold them.
I know my husband is at the age to have the urge to start a family, and he know's that I don't want to, but I don't think he know's to what extent.  I'm afraid to tell him how I really feel.
Basically, I'm asking what is wrong with me!  I know this is not normal, and I don't care to hear, "That will change once you're actually pregnant!", because it won't...It didn't last time.
I NEED HELP and I just need to know that someone read this so I'm not TOTALLY ALONE.

[Lilsis90]

Thank you so much for letting me know that I'm not crazy.  And to answer your questions, I was pregnant before but decided to terminate.  I told my husband that I didn't want children the day I met him, but later he confessed that he didn't believe that I actually meant it.  I don't know how to tell him that it goes to this extent without disappointing him or breaking his heart.

[loimmarmar]

Hello, Quickly, several thoughts...I was going to say one thing but changed the order when I read you next to the last sentence.....It didn't last time....So, you were pregnant before.....What happened...miscarriage, birth?....Now for what I was going to start with.....NOTHING is wrong with you or the fact that you do not want to be a mother!!!   NOTHING....NOT all women are geared for motherhood and think how many did not want to be mothers but....OOPPPPSSS!!! Now they got a KID....not a BABY or Child....The KID is mistreated and in some cases very abused and or killed......The other thought was this....Did your Husband know you felt like this before you all got married?   If you try to have a baby to make someone else happy, Will you make yourself MISERABLE in the process....By the way, Personally, I loved being pregnant and have 4 daughters, 37,34,26,24.....It will all work out...you are so very young and he is not over the hill either...Alot of couples decide to work on increasing the family after the woman has decided on and started her career and if you go to collage...starting a family makes it harder time wise for the education time and I know women that started their families when they were closer to thirty.....I always taught my girls....ENJOY your youth, teenage and early 20s, because after children...NO YOU TIME, it will be all about the babies.....Give yourself some time and QUIT TRYING so hard.... to try to want one!!!! You have wonderful Blessed day!!    GOD BLESS!!!     loimmarmar