Drama with Baby's Last Name

[Nini2686]

Ok quick background on me. I'm 23 and my boyfriend is 27. We have been together for five years, we have a pretty strong and trustful relationship. We both want to get married in the near future. He is liked by my family and I am very close with his family. We both are excited about this pregnancy. However...my parents are giving me alot of pressure to "look out for myself and my daughter". My father told me until my bf marries me, I have to think like a single mother and make decsions regarding my daughter based on my needs. I don't agree. He wants me to put my last name on the birth certificate when the baby is born just in case my boyfriend leaves me and trys to take the baby away or get full custody. I always knew that I wanted to put my boyfriend's last name on her birth certificate and I always thought this was the norm. I have no indiction that my boyfriend will hurt me and I do know that my parents are trying to protect me. My parents think is "abnormal" and I should put my last name inorder to protect myself. My father challenged me to find others that agree with me. Can you guys help me out.

[scorpiogirl32]

my first 3 children have my name cuz there dads were not nothing in my life but my last 3 children all have there daddys name we are together and i love him we been together 7 years so i would do the dads i makes him proud to give his name to his beautiful children good luck

[LauraB78]

I am also not married and had a hard time deciding on what to so when my son was born. I opted to give him is Father's last name because that is what I am comfortable with. This decision is up to you and your babies Father. It sounds to me like you have a good relationship with him so in my opinion, there really is no reason not to.

Someone had mentioned checking the laws in yoru state, I would also recommend that. But ultimately, do what YOU are comfortable with.

My son's Father & I are together and live together, however, we still have a rocky relationship and I have never (yet) regretted giving Jaxson (my son) his Daddy's last name. Good luck!

[megmil]

Well, I will tell you about my experience........I have a four year old with a man who decided to leave me and doesn't want anything to do with me or my son. My mom told me the same thing when I was pregnant with him but I didn't want to listen to her. Well, nothing bad happened anyway. He decided himself he didn't want to be on the birth certificate and when I went for child support they had to do a whole paternity thing and all that before I could do anything becaue he wasn't on the certificate. Nothing happened that was bad though.
If you put his last name on the birth certificate it will make no difference what so ever except that you will have to go through DNA testing if you do split up for child support. No matter if his name is on the certificate or not he can get full custody by submitting a DNA test. It doesn't matter. Usually judges do not give one parent or the other sole custody unless there is a suspision of abuse or neglect from one parent.
I really don't think you should worry about it though. it's your decision not your families and if you believe he will not hurt you in such a way then do what you feel is best. I think it's always best to use the father's last name. Either way really, if you do believe he might do something like try to take the child if you split there is no way around it. Keeping him off the birth certificate will do nothing. use his last name if you want.

[addysmom]

Okay....since my husband and babies mother from a previous relationship have dealt with this....I thought I would speak up.  

You CAN put down the fathers name...and still give the baby your last name.  The childs last name will have absolutely NO bearing on child support/custody...etc if  you do this.  You do NOT have to prove paternity if the fathers name is on the birth certificate.  Paternity only has to be proven if the father disputes it.

[mami1323]

It is his child regardless so you should put his last name.  Even if you broke up, it's still his child.  He could easily take you to court and petition that his last name be put on the birth ceritificate once he proves paternity.  But, that doesn't have any bearing on custody.  I'm not married either and our son has my fiance's last name.  His middle name is my last name.  My fiance's sister is with her daughter's father but at the time she was pregnant and at birth they were not together and she put her last name on the birth certificate and that has definitely put a strain on their relationship.  

[YvetteY]

And I don't know what state Mumita is from, but if you use the BF's last name on birth certificate you will still have to prove paternity.