what should i do?

[katierylenava]

I just want someones advice on this topic. I don't have anyone to ask around me. So I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now and am currently 22 weeks pregnant with our first child. I have a four year old son from a previous relationship. My boyfriend used to be good with him now he doesn't pay attention to him doesn't really play with him. I've talked to him about it. I get mad when he tries to disaplin him cuz I don't want my son not to like him. He's just not being good with him anymore. I can't just leave him with the baby on the way. But my son comes first. Any advice please

[katierylenava]

Thank you everyone.. I'm going to have a another talk with him later. He's a really good person the best relationship I've ever had. I just don't want him disaplining my son if he's not going to do the other role which is play with him and be his buddy. I don't ask him to be his father which he wold like to be but my sons deadbeat father is still in his life through visitation rights from court. We will see how things turn out I guess. Maybe I'm just over thinking it due to being pregnant.

[Ana23gio]

Well my best friend who also had 2 babies n when she met her now ex he always nice n protective over the children he would not even want her to disipline them well when shegot pregnant with his baby they decided to start loving together n thats when things started to get REALLY Nasty he would hit her children I told her it was abuse but she was also scared of him it got to a point where every thing the kids did would bother him. She didnt know what to do he was so abusive towards her that she felt like u like no way out either stay or leave. So she decided to leave him he stills beg her to come back but its been 3 years n she found someone definetly better than him. Shes happy n so are her kids. U may feel alone but trust me u got more than enough reasons to live one of them being ur 2 lil angels who deserve nothimg but THE BEST. I have seen a couple of men who are sweet n sour sweet as can be when u first meet then sour when u see the real them. u can do it dont ever doubt yourself. Good luck with what ever you choose.

[KTowne]

I would also watch him (if you stay with him) around your son when he's got his own, a lot of fathers that start this way will end up treating the other child differently, and then the child will in turn become resentful, it sounds to me like you're doing all you can, and you're a good mother, you'll get through it. Discuss with him exactly what he's doing wrong, and what needs to change, and if he responds great, if he doesn't then I agree with Anniebrooke, you need to leave.

[katierylenava]

Thank you for your input. I will definitely keep close watch on it and hope thar it gets better

[AnnieBrooke]

If he is not good with your son, he should not be disciplining him.  Being 'not good' with a kid means you're not interested in him, and coming off angry and commanding is a poor way to have a relationship.  But you're in a tough spot, because there is no real reason he *should* have to maintain a good relationship with a child who is not his, if he isn't married to the mother.  (Despite your pregnancy.)  In other words, he signed up for a relationship with you, and to get there he was good to your son, but he isn't accepting that it's a package deal now and doesn't want to be enlisted as a babysitter or expected to have a full fatherly relationship with your son.  I take this all as a signal of further and worse problems ahead, and would advise you to start thinking seriously about finding a different life than one with him.  Go home to be near your family, etc.  I'm sorry, but it just sounds pretty likely to get worse.

[Oreo2012]

I believe that if you want your boyfriend to be a father figure in your sons life then he needs to be able to disaplin him if he was his real father then he would disaplin him and the child would get mad at him but will still love him anyway cause he has been there for him and helped him do things and if you leave him over that then your taking the father figure away from both of your children