Need to vent, DH problems.

[Kimberlee_20]

DH used to chew, and I think it's REPULSIVE! I can't stand it - and I absolutely would not allow it around me, he would NEVER to allow me to smoke (not that I would), and I feel it's the same as me not wanting him to chew. Tonight we were at my mom's house and he was fixing her DVD player, and I could see a round circle in his front pocket, but I dismissed it and forgot about it, thinking I was jumping to conclusions. I've asked him NUMEROUS times in the past 2 months if he's been chewing (I could see it in his teeth when he came home from work) and he said absolutely not. Tonight we got home, he took a shower, and he was taking extremely long and I didn't know why. Well he was "sore" from work so I rubbed his back with Icy Hot, so my hands were nasty and would just not come clean with soap and water, so I was going to take a shower. He was thinking of EVERY reason for me NOT to go in that bathroom, well I got annoyed and went anyway, confused about what his problem was. Well I got out of the shower, and I opened the bottom cupboard to get q-tips to clean my ears, and there was a chew can, half full sitting infront!!!! I was and AM still furious - why was I not good enough to be told the truth?! I know there is much worse things he could be doing, but I HATE it, and if he cared you think he would stop don't you think, or at least try! I don't want my son growing up around that, I certainly would NEVER want my child doing something harmful to himself. Am I overreacting or would anyone else be mad?

[Kimberlee_20]

We talked today and he's going to quit - he was worried I'd get upset with him and leave him - WHATTT?! I would never! He's apparently been "trying" to tell me, I don't know, I told him today that I want him to be able to talk to me about ANYTHING - even if it would upset me, because there's nothing he could do that was THAT bad to make me leave him.. well I hope not anyway. But he's going to try quitting, and I told him obviously he can't quit in a day, but if he does it I want him to tell me.

[kylesMom09]

I agree iwould be angry too...a little that he was chewing and really angry that he lied to you.  My DH quit smoking when i get pregnant b/c that was what we had always planned, but every now and then he will have one and it still drives me crazy.  Just let him know how horrible it makes you feel that he would lie about smething so stupid and that you feel you shoudl be worth quitting for!!!  Best of luck and try not to get yourself too upset :)

[GRose]

AP- I think part of the reason she got so upset is that he flat out lied to her, he told her that he stopped. I agree that it is his decision but he should at least tell her the truth.

[ArmyPrincess819]

Yes you are over reacting. If your dh decides to chew that is his choice you don't have to like it but you can't conrol what he does. My dh dips and I could care less. I would worry if you find a phone number in the bathroom not chewing tobacco. I know it's gross but honestly in marriage there a bigger things to worry about. Good luck.

AP

[GRose]

I would be very angry, he was lying to you. DB smokes and I hate it, I hate the way it smells, I hate how he has to leave the table at a restaurant to go have a cigarette, I hate everything about it and the funny thing is, I used to smoke. I think it makes me so mad because I was smoking as long as he has been and I quit the day I found out I was preggo with Noah so I don't get why he can't, it was hard but so worth it.
You need to tell him why you are so upset, tell him that you don't want to be lied to and that you are worried about his health, he will only quit when he is ready but at least let him know how you feel.
I hope he rinses his mouth out before you kiss him, yuck!!! :)

[babypooh]

I think you have every right to be angry; he lied to you and he hasn't stopped.  Remain calm and have a talk with him. Explain that you will not tolerate it and he needs to stop.  Do understand that it's hard for someone to give up a habit or addiction so remain calm and respectful.  See what he says and go from there. I hope he sees what a problem it is and that he realizes he needs to stop. Good luck!

[anxi]

Chewing is worse than smoking cause typically they leave the tobacco in one spot.  Tell him to stick out his tongue, check his cheeks and pull out his lips for any whitening or other discoloration of the tissues.  This is the beginnings of displasia and can lead to cancer.  The good thing is that if caught early the tissues can go back to health if he stops chewing.  Maybe if he sees changes it will scare him into stopping
By the way I don't think you overreacted he lied to you and tried to hide something from you.  My hubby sneaks smokes and I've found packets in his car and I get mad too

[gokuangel]

ok thats weird! Dipping and smoking are the EXACT SAME THING!! Both tobacco!! Tell him hes being hipocritical lol!! GL and take a breather!!

[Kimberlee_20]

I know it drives me nuts! He picks on people that smoke because it causes cancer but so does chewing!!

[gokuangel]

Well i can see your point maybe you overreacted a bit BUT he did lie to so that was wrong! if he was going to do it he should have just been up front! My DH smokes and i wish he wouldnt i dont really care for it and i worry bout his health but every time he tries to quit he screams at me constantly so i just gave up told him here take your dang cancer stick!