i really need a hug :( please read

[nece062013]

My fiancé and i were lying in bed cuddling and talking about random stuff and out of nowhere i started crying. I have no clue why, I'm blaming the hormones. Anyways, when i cry he doesn't really ever hold me and tell me everything is going to be alright. Instead he drills me with questions as to why I'm crying and most the time there is no reason. Well i told him it hurts my feelings that he doesn't just hold me and he'd rather make me feel stupid for crying. He got butt hurt and went off on a rant about how i deserve so much better than him and he is a worthless piece of crapp for making me feel bad and how everyone would be better off without him (if you haven't noticed, he has problems with depression and is not on meds). Half of me just wanted to punch him and tell him to stop being such a cry baby but he would've overreacted and done something stupid. So instead i told him how much our baby and i need him and love him and how we cant do this alone. I feel like our arguments always end up with me being the bad guy when its always me that gets my feelings hurt in the first place. Ugh. I'm sorry for such a long rant. I just really don't know what to do. I just wanna curl up in a corner and cry :(

[nece062013]

I've brought up counseling several Times to him and his response is always 'men don't do counseling. That's for wimps' and its the same with antidepressants. He'd rather punch a wall or himself than get any help. I'm not scared that he will ever hurt me or my baby but of what he'll do to himself.

[rosey3216]

Yeah most guys really are clueless as what to do when we cry. Especially because you're dealing with someone who has depression and is not being treated for it, it is going to make things difficult. Hell, they'd be difficult even without the pregnancy. I have severe depression and have not taken meds or been to counseling since last April and now am 17+1 so you can imagine how emotional I've been..lol. But I often feel like I'm doing everything wrong and that my bf deserves better because I feel like he deserves to be with someone who isn't sad and negative all the time. Sorry depression is a touchy subject for me so that's why I'm ranting lol. But I would 1) suggest maybe counseling at least? And then if they think medication could be helpful, see if hes willing to at least try it for a while? And 2) when you are crying ask him to cuddle with you and tell him that your emotions are just all out of whack right now, and thank him for being there for you. I hope it all gets better for you, I know depression on top of pregnancy is really hard to deal with and both put stress on a relationship.

[baby2_on_the_way]

at least he gets upset with himself not you... My hubby hates when I cry and I cry every day, we have to turn TV off for commercials cause the sad ones make me cry and the food ones make me crave random things lol and then I cry if I don't get it haha. Well I have never been a crier and so hubby gets like pissedoff and annoyed with the world if i'm crying. And if I tell him a hug and kiss would make it all better he does a really fast little peck kiss and let's ME hug him but doesn't even wrap his arms around me so its useless and just makes me cry harder cause he is a butt head about it. I'm 26+4 so he should know by now how upsetting it really is! Its a daily struggle

[nece062013]

That fire was nasty. You could see it on the other side of Joplin.

[katngary143]

I know this is random but I was just in joplin my husband mother and bro lived there but they moved back to Arkansas. ..I was there during tht huge fire where the tat shop caught on fire

[nece062013]

Thank you ladies. I understand that sometimes i do overreact myself. But this happens whenever i bring it up that sometimes he hurts my feelings, even though i know he's not intentionally doing it. He said he feels like he cant do anything right and everything he says upsets me, which neither one of those are true. Then i end up feeling worse than i had originally felt.
i try to explain to him that my hormones are going insane and how thankful i am for him. And i tell him he rarely does anything wrong but his head tells him different.
I do love him and i know he loves me. I just feel like these darnn hormones aren't helping us any.

[acline93]

awww..*hug* :)

[katngary143]

Sometimes guys arent the best with emotions but u have to look at the negative as a postive if he didnt care about u he wouldn't make a big deal of it I had to battle depression also still battling it and im a lil defensive at times...wait until he cools down and talk to him instead of in the moment and dont take it offensively you have a little one on the way and u guys need to effectively communicate better

[Phatz88]

That stinks guys are definitely clueless. But so you both win and nobody feels like the bad guy. Next time you feel bad or cry ask him can he hold you it would make you feel better, and let him know that there isn't anything wrong just hormones and make sure you tell him how much you appreciate him being so caring. That might help him comfort you more when you need it. Sometimes guys and tears don't mix they rather get to the problem and fix it instead of being all mushy. :)

[Shirano]

Maybe try to talk about it when you aren't crying already. Guys feel helpless when girls cry. They don't always do the right things to make it better and when you tell them about it they get upset because there was something they could've done that they didn't. My hubby doesn't struggle with depression like that and he still gets frustrated when I'm upset and I let him know what he can do to help. He wants to just know what to do and just take care of me ya know? I'm sorry you're so emotional lately. I have been too, it's really annoying lol.