Feeling Alone

[a1sparrow2]

Please forgive the manny typos - this keyboard is aboout shot!!
I'm in my 30's.  I spent almost 2 years trying to talk my husband into havinng a baby.  he has Ellis van-Creveld Syndrome, so hhad been more than hhesitant about havinng kids for fear oof passing it down to them.  we researched and founnd we're pretty much in the clear on that...
I've just entered my 3rd trimester.  I have been having the most miserable pregnancy of anyone I've ever known!  I got sick the day after we conceived (although we didn't know that's what was making me sick...)  2 weeks later I get "fitted in" to the schedule thinking I had a UTI, and turnned up 2 weeks pregnant with an ovarian cyst.  From there on until just at 5-6 months, I was either in pain, nauseated, throwing up, or just feeling like I had the flu.  Oh, yeah, did I mention also feeling scared to death the whhole time???  Ok, then the nausea stops and bronchitis kicks in.  (an another Oh, Yeah...I work at a hospital - 3 12-hr shifts in a row, night shift.)  Bronchitis goes away, I feel good for about a week, and the round ligament pain starts.  Did I also mention I am carrying LOWER than LOW?  As of 2 weeks ago, I'm also now on 'modified' bed rest due to blood pressure and other medical complications (I've been considered high risk most of this time).  Basically allowed to go to church and grocery store.  not on my feet for more than 2 hours.  
EVERYONE tells me that this is supposed to be the best time of my life!  It's so special to carry a baby and grow a baby and all that stuff...  Is there ANYONE ELSE out there that has been as miserable??  NO ONE I talk with seems to understand that this is not just a walk in the park!  
Because I'm carrying low, I've been showing a lot sooner than most would have shown, and I've of course had all the questions like if I'm gaining too much weight, or if I'm carrying twins or if I'm sure I'm not further along than 'they" say...  And, I know that they're all just questiionns...they don't or shouldn't matter..
Truth be told - I was NOT ready for any of this yet!!!  Even after what seems like years of begging, I told my husband that WE needed to do this, not something he did for me...  A night or two before we got prego, we decided to start talking about it.  thenn............well, it only takes one time!!  All of this has come as a surprise.  And, now, still 3 months away, (due 3/31) unable to do most things a regular person wouldn't think twice about doing (dishes, laundry, etc) and the nursery still not painted or even looking like a baby's coming except for the hand-me-downs...  
PLEASE tell me that I'm not the only one feeling like I don't ever want to get pregnant again!!!!!!  No one else seems to understannd what I'm going through, but i thought maybe someone here would.  we are both gettinng older annd nneed to get the family thing underway, but...it wasnn't supposed to be this hhard!  Or iss it really, and no one is really speaking up?
Advice?

[4boys1girl]

I have been blessed with pregnancies that are relatively unremarkable with the exception of this last one.  I really do not enjoy most of the pregnancy experience.  I do...find it amazing that I have taken part in creating life.  I do... enjoy feeling the baby move...that is incredible!!   I love the birthing experience and have only had one not so good birth.  (Im pregnant with my fifth baby)  Being pregnant for 9-10 months is very stressful for me. I find it very uncomfortable...I have heart burn from the minute I conceive until the moment I deliver.  I ussually gain alot of weight.( 45-60lbs)  I did not tell anyone until this last baby how much I really do not enjoy  being pregnant overall.. I realize that this may sound like Im a big baby compared to the things other women endure.    However....I being a person that does not enjoy pregnancy has "gone back five times for more!" Once you give birth and hold your baby all the problems seem to fade.  You will immediatly fall in love with your baby and Im sure you will figuer your baby is worth every bit of the awful pregnancy it took to get him here!!
Take Care....
Kris

[Michele, Katy, TX]

I am so sorry that you both feel so bad.  I have 5 kids.  My son I had very young.  He's now 14.  But my 4 girls I've had back to back.  My husband and I have been married 7 years.  I've had 4 girls in 6 years.  I've actually been pregnant more of the time my husband and I have been together than not being pregnant.  And believe it or not, I have pretty miserable pregnancies too; especially the first trimester.  I get so very sick.  I try everything but for the most part that takes time.  Once I get out of my first trimester I start to feel human again....Just in time to get huge and uncomfortable.  But I promise you one thing....Once you see that beautiful baby, everything you have gone through will be worth it.  There is a reason why we go through this and not the man.  LOL!!  We are so very strong.  We really are.  I remember with my 4th baby....I was working A LOT!!!  I was working like 12 or more hours a day.  I was going to school 2 nights a week and still had my other 3 kids to take care of.  Plus we were trying to sell our house so it always had to be clean and then we ended up leasing our house and had to move.  We moved into our new house exactly 1 month to the day from when my 4th child was born.  I don't know how I found the strength to do all of that but somehow we do.  We find the strength.  It's there.  But don't feel bad or guilty.  I'd be willing to bet that if you had another child later on, that it wouldn't be nearly as bad as this one.  This one just put a bad taste in your mouth so to speak.  I really hope you both feel better soon.  And Leanna, I hope your doc will give you some antibiotics soon.  You both take care of yourselves and keep us posted.  If you ever need to talk, you can always message me.

[alaysha]

Its completely normal to feel that way. I had a hard pregnancy and half the time I was both excited for her to come and in a strange way dreading it because I didn't know anything about babies. I hadn't gotten anything done for the baby either like painting the nursery or even packing a hospital bag. I still didn't even have anything done when my water broke and I ended up going to the hospital. Trust me once you hold that baby everything changes. I'm still concerned on what I need to do as a mother to keep her healthy and happy but now I feel silly for all that worrying before she was born because to you your child is going to be the most special thing you have ever had.Haha in a weird way even though my pregnancy was the worst pregnancy ever (or at least to me) I kinda miss it. Enjoy the small things.

[Leanna26]

Your most certainly welcome. I know how hard it can be. I am very excited for this pregnancy. All my mc, were from just bad luck as the doctors said. 1. I lost twins at 14 weeks, due to chromosone abnormalities, the 2nd was a chemical and the third was a blighted ovum. They did all the testing and told us we look great, nothing wrong. So this is the first time we have seen our baby and the heartbeat, 3 times now. So I truly think this is it. LOL I have been pregnant now 4 times since last March, I feel like I have constantly been pregnant, but I know in the end it will be worth all the hardship.

I also know its hard for our husbands to understand what we are going through... the cravings, exhaustion and pain.  I see a lot of pregnant women walking around with that "glow" and here I am, looking like how I am feeling LOL. Ah oh well, Im hoping with the 2nd trimester coming that it will be easier.

So have you guys found out what you are having, or are you waiting to find out?

[njeosys]

My SIL threw up every single day of both of her pregnancies and ended up losing weight instead of gaining. I think her back hurt real bad, too.

There are just some women who find actually taking care of their baby way more pleasing and fulfilling than being pregnant with them! I loved being pregnant and giving birth, but that is ME. You are YOU, so don't fret about it! Just because it is the norm for women to be happy/excited/elated doesn't mean you're a freak or weird or heartless or anything like that. It's just your personality and you're obviously having a difficult time with feeling sick (I WOULD TOO!!!).

Believe it or not, most women who feel as you feel, think the same things you do, but they never say it for fear of sounding spiteful or selfish. Almost every pregnant woman has some pain/issue during their pregnancy, their time in the limelight! You're just normal.

And it'll be over soon!!! Just keep looking towards that goal and telling yourself that.

[a1sparrow2]

Leanna26,
I am so sorry for your miscarriages...  I can't even begin to comprehend what you've been through.  I'm happy for you that you've made it this far, though.  it was at the 12-week ultrasound for us that doc said it was safe to tell people - up to that point, even with heartbeats and other US's we couldn't even tell our parents!
THANK YOU for your honest reply!  I just sat here and cried as I read your response to my husband - out of a strange sense of comfort - and told him that I'm not alone, and there really are other women that are in as much "misery" (for lack of better term) as I have been.
May I say that I truly hope, for your sake, that yours does not continue this way.
Except for the fact that I have a wonderfully loving and supportive and excited husband, this has been just a miserable experience!  One which at this moment I don't think I ever want to repeat!  And, it's sad...the kicks and movements are supposed to be so joyful...occasionally they are.  Usually they spark apprehension!!  I'm sure by the middle of April everything will be behind me, and we'll be just the giddiest people on the block...  
I think part of it, too, is that we've just recently found a new church home, and due to crazy mixed-up schedules have not been able to get ourselves plugged in, so we've not really had the comfort of prayer covering that we're so used to having...so, hopefully the waking at 3am agonizing "oh, Lord, what have I done?" will go away when Baby comes, too...  :-}  
Thank you again for your words of comfort - they mean more than you know!

[Leanna26]

I hear how you feel.  I have felt the same way this whole pregnancy. This is my 4th with no children as of yet. I found out VERY VERY early I was pregnant. 5 days before my missed period, went right to the doctor. I had already started to show signs, fatigue, bloody noses and headaches... from there it just got worse. Naseua constant, sleeping like 14 hours a day, and my house is always a disaster because I cannot seem to do dishes for longer than 5 minutes without needing a 10 minute break. Since I was about 8 weeks pregnant, I got a cold. I am now nearly 12 weeks pregnant... and still have the cold. I feel miserable. Everything hurts, sleeping and eating is difficult. I was going to go back to school in January, but I decided I need to put that off some, I don't know how I would go to classes needing to pee every 10 minutes, and or falling asleep.
Everytime I sneeze or cough I even pee myself a little! I feel like I am falling apart. I take it easy, since I am high risk patient due to so many MC, but I feel useless most of the time.
Although, after 3 mc it was beautiful to see my baby at 6 weeks 2 days, and a heartbeat... again at 8 weeks, and again at just 10 weeks. This pregnancy seems to be going well, and they are telling me the more miserable I feel the better it makes them feel because its so normal.

Just remember, times are hard now. You must take it easy and rest, but in 3 months you will be holding your baby. In 4 months you will feel so much better, able to move around and do things again. Do what you can in little spurts but do not over stress yourself. Everything will be alright. You will see, things will fall into place just in time and you will be so much happier.

[babygirl32]

Everything is going to be ok . It is normal to feel this way , but you just need to be careful and don't strain yourself alot. You only have 3 months to go. I feel the same way and I am just starting now, so imagine . Try to calm down ; remember that it is not good to be stressed out during labor , you can have alot of complications . Good luck