I think it's really common for babies who are breastfed to only want brestfeeding when with mommy. I know that when people are trying to get their baby to take a bottle they tell them to have mom leave the room and have dad or someone else give the bottle as instinctualy the baby will want to nurse if with mom and being used to nursing.
Also if your mother in law is being too overbearing and you want her to back off in the "parenting" department can you just drop the bottles for now and have your baby nurse? Or do you have a reason for needing to do the bottles? That was one thing I liked was no matter how much everyone else wanted to get their hands on my baby I could just be like "well it's time to eat" and take the baby back to nurse. If you are working so your baby takes bottles at daycare I can see how it'd be easy at home to just continue bottles, but you could very easily just tell them that hey, this is the only time you have wither her to let her nurse and cuddle with you and if you are home she is going to nurse. You will save your milk for daycare. I would think though that part of the fussiness could be due to switching back and forth and having so many people trying to feed her. Also babies can sense stress so if you are po'd at your mil your baby might be feeling your tenseness.
Is your MIL leaving soon??
i'd say she's ova the breast milk :-( ... i remember clearly my youngest screwin up her nose and poking out her tongue every time i tried to give her the breast. i'd say the smell of breast milk on u is why she wont take the bottle from u also - try placing a clean blanket or pillow between u and bubs when feeding - to try cover the smell... also remember babies pick up on our feelings too - if ur feelin tense coz u cant feed but every1 else can it could make a diff... when i was a first time mum and every1 was givin me their opinions - the best advice a nurse told me was i'd been solely lookin afta my baby for 9 months - no1 else could do it BUT me - and i did it by listening to my body and own natural instincts - she told me to smile when given advice i hadnt asked for, and politely remind every1 that i was the mummy, and i was the one who had the strongest bond with my baby. Just because ur a first time mum doesnt mean u dont already know wot's best. And truely, i have 4 kids now, and even tho i kno my own children, it doesnt make me an expert with every1 elses. I hope that all makes sense :-)
youare right,,,i did notice that when she does go back and forth from her hands (MIL) to mine...she gets annoyed and fusses right away,,,but when she spends the entire night with me,,,she is calm and happy :)
the MIL is leaving on the 30th of this month..ive had issues with her wanting to take over. she is helping when i need to sleep a few hours, but thats about all i can handle,,,the rest aggrevated me. I keep on tellingmyself that they are leaving soon, so im trying to let alot of stuff go,,,and i know she wont see the baby for a long while..since they live far..but still,,,,i hate sharing her with my mother in law.she treats her like her own daughter, and doesnt give any importance to my wishes and preferences...i hate that,,but i dont want to cause problems with my husband and his family,,,besides , she is old,,and i think she loves her very much,,im trying to see the positive of this whole situation,,even if somedays , i just cant handle it!@!
Im giving my baby the bottle because i dont produce enough milk. after 10 minutes, she starts crying, so i supplement.
thanks for ur words of advice.
That is very common, she knows that she can get the real deal from you so she wont settle for anything less.
Just keep working at it and she will eventually give in, it may take a while but she will. My son took months to take a bottle from anyone, thank God I didn't have to go to work until he was 6 months along. He was still kind of picky about it but he had no other choice when he was with the sitter.
One thing the sitter did was lay Noah on her breast (over clothes) while they were both laying on the bed, it made him feel more like he was nursing, you may want to try that, also try experimenting with different bottles.
Try and relax, you seem to be a worry wart as ALL new moms are but just try and enjoy being a mommy ***HUGS****
Honey, I wanted to add that I think you need to tell your MIL to back off a little and let you be the mommy. I know she means well but this is really important bonding time that you are missing out on and will never get back.
On what GRose said about your MIL I agree completely. I do think however, it's often easier if your husband could tactfully talk to his mom and use phrases like "I notice that and I think maybe (your name) need some more time with the baby could you help with that?"etc...I always thing conflict should be handled primarily by the child to the parent vs wife to inlaw. Mom's tend to have a soft spot for their kids so hopefully she would be understanding with her son...rather then the woman who took him away from her.. ?? :-) as long as he can do it without making it sound like he's your puppet. Just a thought.
When it comes to you MIL wanting to spend time with the baby I get that, and her wanting to do everything for her also. But she should absolutly do things your way and obay your wishes. Yes you should let her spend time with the baby, but draw the line with how YOUR child is handled. I agree with the other posters, she probably won't take the bottle from you because she wants the real thing. You need to let her nurse as much as possible, that's the only way you will get your supply back up. Good luck, I'm sure the 30th won't come soon enough! My MIL leaves on the 15th, she's been here for a month and I can't wait! But we haven't had our baby yet, so she's not able to but in, and our daughter is 2 and wants me. My MIL also tried calling my daughter a nickname that both my hushand and I hate, she doesn't do it anymore though because my daughter won't answer. Good luck and I hope everything works out,