Aa
Should he get the max.
Over the weekend my dad shot my husband in the face with a shot gun. My husband is okay thank God. But now my dad is facing 2 to 20. He was drunk when he did it and idk everything because I was at work. Im very angry with the both of them. But I couldve lost my husband and my kids couldve been without their father. My family is angry with me because I dont think I should help bail him out. They say im selfish for not helping him. I dont have a good relationship with him . I grew a cold heart for him over the years that he was in prison while I was a child and a teenager. I think he should get what every other criminal should get. Its not his first time going to prison for a gun. So why should I care if he tried to take the most important person in my life away from me.
No way most people put in your situation would feel exactly the way you do, you sound like you have everything under control, well done :)
Im already on top of that. We are going next week for my lil girl. My oldest 2 were with my mother my youngest is only 2 but we scheduled him too. The one that did and is having a very hard time with this is my 5 year old. She was the one that is old enough to know what happened
and has to sleep with us at night. She now calls my dad the boogyman. And maybe do it as a family also. I had to go to the hospital too because I was so scared I started having really bad pains. The d.a. called me and asked what I think my dad should get and I told them THE MAX. Im done with him and his family. My mothers side also feels like I do my parents have been divorced for 21 yrs. my step dad is very supportive and im happy I have someone in my life thats a father figure and not crazy. But thanks I just didnt want to feel like I was the only one that felt like I did.
and has to sleep with us at night. She now calls my dad the boogyman. And maybe do it as a family also. I had to go to the hospital too because I was so scared I started having really bad pains. The d.a. called me and asked what I think my dad should get and I told them THE MAX. Im done with him and his family. My mothers side also feels like I do my parents have been divorced for 21 yrs. my step dad is very supportive and im happy I have someone in my life thats a father figure and not crazy. But thanks I just didnt want to feel like I was the only one that felt like I did.
no your husbands not perfect but name me someone who is! no-one deserves to have that done to them, stick to your immediate family and dont let them make you feel guilty, sure your father has an illness that you would wish on no-body, BUT hes the one who chooses not to take his medication, if your children have witnessed this, maybe organising some counselling for them would be a wise decision as they will def have some trauma from this happening infront of them, and they need to know that they should be able to feel safe in there own home
My husband is angry he wants to kick his butt. My dad is 50yrs old. he is also bipolar but refuses to except there is something wrong with him. I don't like to be around my dad or have anything to do with him. I told my aunt the one that has been trying to get me to help. That what if it was you and your son in law shot my cousin in the face would you help him get out or would you want him to sit in there. She couldn't say anything. I dont care if it was my dad-brother, sister or mother that shot my husband. I will feel the same way. I'm prego I shouldn't have to go through what I did. Especially to get a call at work that my dad shot him. And my kids where in the back ground screaming my daddys dead. I just felt like my whole life was home and fell to my knees screaming and crying. It felt like a huge kick to my chest. When I made it home I work around the corner. I ran home. My kids where with my friend and my husband was on the floor with the paramedics around him. I could just see his bloody face and his hand reach for me. They said he was just fine. He got the out spread of the buck shot that he ducked in enough time so the full shot didn't hit him. I was so terrified. He shot through the door of my home. I just hate that my family is trying to say that my husband is not a great man and I shouldnt be with him. And with that I haven't talked to my aunt in 3yrs. And I don't even know how she got my number. I'm not even close with my family because they are all gossip. No one helps me by my husband. And no sometimes he isn't great. But sure doesn't deserve to get shot in the face.
Another issue involved here, one I've seen go wrong many times:
If you or your husband put up funds to bail him out, and he skips bail or fails to make his court appearance, you will lose all of it. If you paid a bondsman, like most people do, then you'll be on the hook for the loan. Likewise, if you've tried to cover bail by posting collateral, like your house or car, you'll lose it.
From what you've said about your dad and his prior brushes with the law, he doesn't sound like someone I'd trust to keep his court dates.
If you or your husband put up funds to bail him out, and he skips bail or fails to make his court appearance, you will lose all of it. If you paid a bondsman, like most people do, then you'll be on the hook for the loan. Likewise, if you've tried to cover bail by posting collateral, like your house or car, you'll lose it.
From what you've said about your dad and his prior brushes with the law, he doesn't sound like someone I'd trust to keep his court dates.
what a horrid position to be in, I couldnt even dream of having to go thru that!! The old saying that you cant choose your family but you can choose your friends is quite true in some cases...., I would be hard pressed to help bail out my father in this situation, it could have been alot worse as you have pointed out, and if it was, would your family have helped out with funeral expenses, or be there for your children, while they didnt have a father. How does your husband feel about the whole situation, it sounds to me like you have already really made your decision and its just your family making you feel guilty, I would have a discussion with your hubby and stick together, and be prepared for a family rift if they cannot see your point of view.. good luck !!!
I'm so sorry you have to go through this one.
I grew up in a prison town, covered cops and courts, and have witnessed all kinds of alcohol abuse and domestic violence cases. My grandmother is now divorced (!) from a man who pulled a gun on his family, pushed his daughter in the street, etc. more than once. He turned out to be undiagnosed bipolar. I don't care. I'm glad he's gone and she doesn't have to live with that fear anymore. He never learned, and he almost killed both of them.
No, you should NOT bail him out. You don't owe your family that. He attacked someone very important to you, in your home. It could have been one of your kids. He's had chances to reform before, and he hasn't changed. He's not going to, unless he gets control of his drinking and anger management problems. Jail's the best place he could be right now.
The fact that he was drunk when he pulled a weapon and shot your husband is NO EXCUSE. In fact, where I come from, that's even worse. We know better than to play with guns while drunk, shoot without identifying a target, leave a gun where children can reach it, etc.
Hang in there. You're doing the right thing by letting the system handle it.
I grew up in a prison town, covered cops and courts, and have witnessed all kinds of alcohol abuse and domestic violence cases. My grandmother is now divorced (!) from a man who pulled a gun on his family, pushed his daughter in the street, etc. more than once. He turned out to be undiagnosed bipolar. I don't care. I'm glad he's gone and she doesn't have to live with that fear anymore. He never learned, and he almost killed both of them.
No, you should NOT bail him out. You don't owe your family that. He attacked someone very important to you, in your home. It could have been one of your kids. He's had chances to reform before, and he hasn't changed. He's not going to, unless he gets control of his drinking and anger management problems. Jail's the best place he could be right now.
The fact that he was drunk when he pulled a weapon and shot your husband is NO EXCUSE. In fact, where I come from, that's even worse. We know better than to play with guns while drunk, shoot without identifying a target, leave a gun where children can reach it, etc.
Hang in there. You're doing the right thing by letting the system handle it.
I think that youre doing the right thing, dont pay any bail, he was obviously trying to destroy your family, who in their right mind would even want to help someone when theyve done something so aweful, regardless if he is your father or not, he should get max for sure, I hope you and your family is doing ok.
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