I wish people would leave me alone!!!!!

[gillianl]

Some of you know what i've gone through with my fertility treatment and everything and that i've been told by my consultant that i can't conceive on my own my best chance is IVF.  I'm sitting in work at the moment, i'm 3 days away from AF and i've been pretty emotional from last night, right now i want to shout and cry at everyone and tell them to get off my back.

I'm not coping with the fact i can't conceive on my own as i found out yesterday my sister is expecting a baby boy, i'm not jealous and i wish her loads of luck i wish it was me, but she felt the baby kick for the first time on a day i was with her i was gutted but happy for her.

My work colleagues keep telling me chin up, stop moaning, be happy, look for the positive.  At this time of the month i just want to wrap my hands round their necks and squeeze and tell them to shut up and leave me alone.  My partner and 1 of my sisters are a great support but i feel like i never stop complaining and feeling down.  i'm at a loss of how to feel, cope and pick myself up.  I just wish the next 2 years of my life would hurry up so i could start the IVF.  i'm so lost and feel on my own all the time :(

[SunWorshiper_26]

I just stopped by to send another hug your way :)

[gillianl]

Thanks very much, i'm feeling a lot better today, i know some people don't understand what your going through unless they have been there themselves, but it is nice to come to a site like this and have people that will take the time to listen to you and give opinions.  I love this site for that

[30something13]

{{{{HUGS}}}}}  I have seen my sister suffer each month like yourself while all of us around her are having babies. It breaks my heart for her and you, NO one should be telling you those things! AFter I had my 4th born at 23 weeks and did not live I had a tubal ligation and cried every day cuz I did it out of my depression. Well 7 years later I got a reversal and now have my little joy and soon I hope you will heave you time too! May yo uahve strenght until then and the happiest time when it does come.

I don't want you to think I know ezactly how you feel since I have had babies but I know the depare feeling and anger part in a way of my own. You can rant and yell to me any time about AF or stupid people saying things!

[gillianl]

don't be silly lol, i always get emotional at this time of the month i'm feeling a lot better today and thank you for the hugs :)

[SunWorshiper_26]

I'm sending big huge hugs your way!!  I hope my PM the other day didn't upset you. I only meant to be encouraging.

[gillianl]

Thanks very much for the support guys, this is why i love this site so much, so many nice people :)

[hopefulLady]

hi gillainl, i dont know you much personally, but yes, I do know you as this wonderful, kind person on medhelp!  I have been seeing all of your posts and I can feel your troubles. I remember when I was ttc for years, I had eventually stopped attending family functions and stopped calling my distant relatives, because of their eternal questions about 'the news'.  But in hindsight, I realize I missed out living my life all those months..  Please try to keep yourself occupied until you wait for ivf, and use that time to keep a good health, travel, or pursue some hobby you like.. People who make comments like that.. are such morons who will never understand and are best ignored!

You truly deserve to get a baby soon!! Waiting is not easy.. I have been through it.. but since I live in India, medical care is inexpensive as compared to other countries and having insurance is not needed, we can just go and get treatment, it is not tough.
I will be praying for you to get your bfp soon! God Bless you! Your baby will surely come to you!

[Heatherm4]

Oh hun....I wish I could give you a huge hug.
I agree with the the other ladies...maybe it would be a good idea to maybe get someone to talk to. It's great that you have such support. Other people can be so oblivious and insensitive and I guess would never truly understand unless they were in that situation.
2 years seems like a lifetime when you have to wait for something you want so bad and I can't tell you that I know how you feel but I hope it flies by. And hopefully these 2 years will be positive and you have an amazing time with you and your DH.

[smjmekg]

You're welcome. I'm not just reassuring, I'm telling you the honest truth. You DO deserve to be a mom, you do and will need as much support as you can get, and people really are that stupid sometimes, lol. I know you know all of this already, but sometimes it helps to be told again and again, and anytime you need to be reminded that you're an awesome person who WILL be a mommy SOON and that people are just jerks just ask. You're one of my favorite and least favorite people to remind...favorite because you're such a wonderful deserving woman, and least favorite because I hate that I can't do any more to help.

[gillianl]

Thanks SMJ, you always know how to reassure me :)

[smjmekg]

Don't think for a second that you're wasting their time! I can't imagine how hard this all is for you, and maybe talking with someone who is completely neutral will help you cope. Like LosingMyMindInGA said, it's up to you to do it, but I think you should reconsider, and try talking to someone. You've been through so much already, and two years is only two years, but then again it's still two more years if that makes sense...having positive helpful support is only going to help you more in the end. I really do hope the next two years flies by for you, I know you deserve to be a mom. I'm sorry you're having so much trouble with people around you, some just really don't know when to hold their tongues, and in their eyes they may be trying to help. *HUGS*

[gillianl]

Thanks very much for both your comments, I have thought about counselling in actual fact i was thinking of calling my GP this morning and decided to leave it as i feel i'm wasting their time.  I'm more emotional when AF is due and feel the world is sitting on top of me, i'm feeling a little better but tired, never in a million years would i have thought i'd have trouble conceiving, it gets harder as time goes by, i thought it was supposed to get easier

[LosingMyMindInGA]

I'm sorry :( some people just don't know when to keep their mouths shut, they think they are helping but they are only making matters worse.  This is just a suggestion and one that only you can make  a decision on, but have you considered counseling to help you come to terms with what is going on?  I really hope that things get better for you and that you are blessed with a bundle of your own very soon!

[belle77]

((((hugs)))) I've been there as well, everybody around me getting preggo and me at that point still trying and that question everyone would ask "so when is it your turn??"  Then even when you tell them that you are having difficulties, they would throw out some comment like "All my husband had to do was look at me and I was pregnant"....thanks that makes me feel better!!  Hope you feel better today!!