OT: Cosleeping

[NicoleW09]

I know cosleeping is a controversial topic for some people, but I need some advice. Right now Lexi is 3w old and we have her sleeping in the bassinet pulled up flush with our bed. It's worked out fine, but over the last week she won't sleep for longer than an hour unless she's in the bed beside me or DH. She'll lay in her bassinet and cry and not go to sleep unless she's held or laying next to one of us. I'm afraid of putting her in the bed with us, but I don't want her to cry and not get rested either. Even if I get her to sleep then put her in her bed, she'll wake up within 30min. What do I do?

[Ashelen]

http://thebabybond.com/Cosleeping&SIDSFactSheet.html

http://www.breastfeeding.com/reading_room/co_slepping.html

the second one is kinda harsh and I don't exactly agree with the author's approach to explaining things (rude) but it explains what I was trying to say about breathing and heart regulation.

The numbers really do speak for themselves, IMO. while yes there are deaths...they are so few and far between in the grand scheme of things. Anyway, I just wanted to include those two sites for some statistics and info for anyone weighing both sides, since we've already had statistics shared from the other side.

[JoyRenee]

SIDS is an unexplained death of an infant. If a cosleeping parent accidentally suffocates their infant that is not SIDS but suffocation. So it does not increase the risk of SIDS; in fact studies show the opposite. Cosleeping decreases the risks of SIDS. You can't just assume something; you must do the research.

Anyway as far as my own opinion I am extremely PRO-cosleeping. My firstborn and my newest addition slept in bed with me until they weaned to their own cribs before their first birthdays. My second daughter never wanted to be held; she was very content to put herself to bed and wanted her space to sleep. I think you need to listen to you baby's cues. You cannot spoil them at this age and it will increase your bond between you and your baby. ONLY in the USA do we push our children away and refuse co-dependency.

I wrote a post about cosleeping and am being quoted in a new cosleeping book that should be hitting bookstores soon.
Here is my post on my blog about my personal research and experiences:
http://whendoesdaddycomehome2.blogspot.com/2009/12/co-sleepingbed-sharing.html

All you can do is the research. Those who are anti-cosleeping haven't done all the research and are only assuming things about it. There are SO many benefits to cosleeping and suffocation caused by cosleeping is very rare (and usually caused by an intoxicated parent or by inappropriate sleeping arrangements such as too many blankets, pillows, etc.).

You can do it and you can do it right. I slept way better when baby was in bed with me than when she wasn't. Sometimes I still wake up and pat the bed next to me to check for her but she's in her own room now.

Intimacy- someone asked about intimacy. Believe me, you're too tired for sex. BUT in the rare moment you feel a little sexy put the baby in the bassinet or the bouncer or find an empty room in the house to get it on. If you want it you'll find ways to get it. ;-)

[mom2ariana]

well the experts classify a lot of infant deaths under the category of SIDS. if a baby dies because it was in a crib with blankets, its still going to be classified as SIDS.
and anyways thats only 221 deaths out of the 500 something that were explained.. so 300 something were never explained but the infants died in bed with their parents.

[jenstam]

Suffocation is not SIDS and is not an unexplained death.

Something funny we do...we have a walk in closet in our bedroom. Our walk in closet has a blanket, candles and pillow stashed away. We meet in our "love den" and make it fun :) It has worked for over 3 years now :)

[Clysta]

I agree that SIDS to me (and also how it has been explained to me) is an unexplained death of an otherwise healthy infant. Suffocation is clearly a cause. If SIDS is going to happen, I think it will happen regardless. Plenty of children have died alone safely in a crib, so for me it's just a matter of what is prefered. I tried a crib once and she woke up screaming in terror, so this is what works for our family.

[Michele, Katy, TX]

Well, I don't consider SIDS as a suffocation death.  I consider SIDS as being an undetermined death by infants.  Suffocation is, indeed, a determined death.  So to me, if a baby dies of suffocation, even by accident, it is not SIDS.  It's suffocation.  I feel the same way about strangulation by accident.  I suppose if the "experts" want to put it under the "SIDS" category, I surely can't stop them, but that is not the same thing to me.  

If you are someone with only one child and you stay home with that child, you very well may be able to sleep when your baby sleeps during the day/night.  But if you have other children to take care of, you may only have a small block of time to sleep at night.  You have other children to care for during the day.  So you have to do what you feel you have to do to get some sleep just to be able to function.  We are not machines after all.  We're human beings.

There are always going to be studies on both sides of the fence for any given topic.  At the end of the day, one has to do what they feel is best for their baby/them/their family.