Aa
OT...but need advice
Ok so I thought that I didn't have this type of thing to worry about anymore but it seems I do and it really, really bothers me. This could be a little TMI, but I need to vent before I get super upset.
Ever since even before I got pregnant, DH has never really been into sex that much. It was always me being the one that initiated it and sometimes we would go up to 6 months without ANY intimate contact at all. The thing is - I would catch him whacking off and watching porn ALL the time but he REFUSED to have sex with me. I don't get it. Well, finally, a few weeks ago I caught him doing it again and this time I really expressed my frustration and my feelings about it to him and I THOUGHT that he had stopped because he evidently started "cleaning up his mess" a lot better. Well, last night, I had a dream that he was cheating on me with this girl that he's always thinking about out of nowhere (He made a comment the other day while we were in the store about feeling bad for this girl because she would be alone on Valentine's Day and it was just the oddest thing that he was thinking about her at THAT time because we were looking at jewelry for each OTHER.) Well, she used to work at this place that his company gets their lunches from at least once weekly. She's just 18 and really pretty. So, last week, she got fired because supposidly someone misunderstood her and they thought that she had asked my hubby to go up to the resturant to put in a take out order when he was actually putting an order in for the company's lunch for the NEXT week. She was fired because of it and Adam (DH) has been really close friends with the owner for YEARS totally went off on her and told her that he wouldn't be going there for his company's lunch anymore OR for our dinner (which we would eat at least once a week, it was a tradition of ours, if you will. I just found it kind of odd. AND, he would always make comments like "Do you think she's bi?" and I KNOW that he is attracted to her but he denies it. He says that she's like his little sister yet he was SO upset about her getting fired and all the comments that he would make....
Anyway, I go to check my mail this morning and he was logged in under his email. I know I shouldn't have done this but he reads my mail all the time, so I clicked on "Inbox" on yahoo and the first thing I see is an email from Adult Friend Finder talking about his membership. I have also found letters from him to another girl talking about how big of a mistake he made calling me instead of going out with her when him and I first got together (they were also from last year) and so I got curious (I'm too dam* curious for my own good sometimes) and I look through my history and he's been on AT LEAST 20 different dating sites and porn sites just since yesterday morning. I just started to "get back in the mood" a few weeks back and he is very well aware of this...yet he still would rather choose whacking off and possibly even be cheating on me.
I just don't know what to do. I really gave him all the fight I have left in me the last time I caught him doing this and I'm just not sure I could go through it again. I love him dearly and have always seen myself spending the rest of my life with him but I can't deal with him doing this to me. Not now. I talk to him 5 or 6 times throughout the day while he's at work and I just don't even know how to act the next time he calls. I sort of feel like it's not even worth me getting upset over because once someone gets that way, they very rarely ever change. I just don't know how to deal with this anymore. What to say,how to act, what to do. I want to just throw my hands up in the air because I am soooo tired of having to fight for him but now things are different. We have a child on the way and I really do truly love him and I know that it would be worth one last fight but I just don't have the energy to do it...
Ever since even before I got pregnant, DH has never really been into sex that much. It was always me being the one that initiated it and sometimes we would go up to 6 months without ANY intimate contact at all. The thing is - I would catch him whacking off and watching porn ALL the time but he REFUSED to have sex with me. I don't get it. Well, finally, a few weeks ago I caught him doing it again and this time I really expressed my frustration and my feelings about it to him and I THOUGHT that he had stopped because he evidently started "cleaning up his mess" a lot better. Well, last night, I had a dream that he was cheating on me with this girl that he's always thinking about out of nowhere (He made a comment the other day while we were in the store about feeling bad for this girl because she would be alone on Valentine's Day and it was just the oddest thing that he was thinking about her at THAT time because we were looking at jewelry for each OTHER.) Well, she used to work at this place that his company gets their lunches from at least once weekly. She's just 18 and really pretty. So, last week, she got fired because supposidly someone misunderstood her and they thought that she had asked my hubby to go up to the resturant to put in a take out order when he was actually putting an order in for the company's lunch for the NEXT week. She was fired because of it and Adam (DH) has been really close friends with the owner for YEARS totally went off on her and told her that he wouldn't be going there for his company's lunch anymore OR for our dinner (which we would eat at least once a week, it was a tradition of ours, if you will. I just found it kind of odd. AND, he would always make comments like "Do you think she's bi?" and I KNOW that he is attracted to her but he denies it. He says that she's like his little sister yet he was SO upset about her getting fired and all the comments that he would make....
Anyway, I go to check my mail this morning and he was logged in under his email. I know I shouldn't have done this but he reads my mail all the time, so I clicked on "Inbox" on yahoo and the first thing I see is an email from Adult Friend Finder talking about his membership. I have also found letters from him to another girl talking about how big of a mistake he made calling me instead of going out with her when him and I first got together (they were also from last year) and so I got curious (I'm too dam* curious for my own good sometimes) and I look through my history and he's been on AT LEAST 20 different dating sites and porn sites just since yesterday morning. I just started to "get back in the mood" a few weeks back and he is very well aware of this...yet he still would rather choose whacking off and possibly even be cheating on me.
I just don't know what to do. I really gave him all the fight I have left in me the last time I caught him doing this and I'm just not sure I could go through it again. I love him dearly and have always seen myself spending the rest of my life with him but I can't deal with him doing this to me. Not now. I talk to him 5 or 6 times throughout the day while he's at work and I just don't even know how to act the next time he calls. I sort of feel like it's not even worth me getting upset over because once someone gets that way, they very rarely ever change. I just don't know how to deal with this anymore. What to say,how to act, what to do. I want to just throw my hands up in the air because I am soooo tired of having to fight for him but now things are different. We have a child on the way and I really do truly love him and I know that it would be worth one last fight but I just don't have the energy to do it...
I am so sorry you have to go through all of this! As your husband, he should want you and NOONE else or "anything" else. Especially since you have a child on the way! He should be more considerate and desire to be intimate with you. As a married couple, I think it is completely wrong to be on dating sites or anything like that. I would sit down and really talk to him about it. See why he doesn't want to be intimate and what the issues are. I would advise you to be gentle with him at first while you are trying to talk things over. Men seem to respond better when we don't yell at them for something they did but instead talk to them nicely about it and maybe he will open up and be willing to talk to you about what is going on in his life. I'm sure it's stressful and you shouldn't have to be worried that your husband is cheating on you since you are pregnant! ((((HUGS))))
I don't think I will be of much help... But it sounds like you have alreasy talked to him about it, but have you told him how you are thinking of giving up on the marriage? Maybe that will get thru to him, or at least scare him a bit. I know it is not the same, so please dont think I am even comparing the two... but my husbands smokes and he kept it a secret when we first got together- I have breathing problems- and then it became something he did only when he drank, then when he was drinking and around people who smoke, then he added when he was stressed, etc. He also assumed I was just bitching to ***** about something and it was only when I really sat down with and calmly told him why I did not like it that he listened. He still smokes but has cut dramitically (spelling?) and now that I am preggers, he is on the patch and gum thing. So maybe calmly talk to him and just lay it out for him. Let him know if he keeps it up he will only be a part time father. It is unrealistic to expect him to stop watching porn and such- he is a guy! But he should not be talking an dreaming about other women like that. I hope I have been of some help, but I'm afraid not. I hope all goes well and keep me posted. Good Luck!
Ok, the adult friend finder membership and the dating sites is how the mess *I* am in started....the off the wall comments about old friends...messages telling other women he should have gone for them instead of you....all those bits and pieces compiled and it gets worse and worse. It's like an addiction for them. Even if they stop for awhile, inevitably they start back again. I'm going through the SAME thing with my exhusband (we're trying to reconcile). In the beginning I found his profiles on adult friend finder, yahoo, black planet love (he's white), booty call, myspace, hi5 and some others I probably don't remember.
I have print outs of emails where he has told other women that he had left me and was divorcing me becuase I couldn't keep up with him or satisfy him (this was while we were still married and I was pregnant). I remember one year on my birthday he gave me this really sweet, sappy card saying how much he loved me, he even wrote in it about me being his soulmate blah blah...then he turned around and emailed one of his online "friends" telling her how we are seperated his life with me had been hell etc.
The ONLY WAY your man OR mine will EVER change is if they fully admit what they are doing is wrong and they have to put forth TREMENDOUS effort to change....including counseling, being open about everything, allowing us access to everything in order to earn out trust back. BUT if they can't even admit what they are doing is wrong, deceitful, hurtful and a form of betrayal then there is NO hope. I have been going around and around and around with this same situation for going on 9 years only the first 2.5 years I was oblivious to it. It NEVER stops. I have tried being more open to things in the bedroom, I've tried the sexy lingerie, taking pictures, you name it...NOTHING works. I've finally realized that it IS NOT my problem and it's nothing faulty with ME...it's HIM.
It's ESPECIALLY hard when you are pregnant. I know...I dealt with it through my pregnancies with my middle and youngest and now this one. Only YOU can decide what you are willing to put up with. I have put up with it WAY too long without putting my foot down. But this latest has me to a point where sometime next week I'll hopefully be telling him it's over, no more, i deserve better. Recently a woman from his past contacted him via myspace. I had already installed a hidden keylogger on my computer becuase I was suspiciosu again. Well he told me about her contacting him but failed to mention his reply email about how he should have married her instead of "my current ex" meaning me. He has since spent most days talking to her on the phone up to 1/2 hour or more at a time and text messaging her when i'm not around. He has been keeping his phone practically up his butt so I can't get to it. He made the mistake of leaving it in his jeans pocket the other day, that's when my suspicions were confirmed about the phone calls...AND I found that he had taken pictures of a "part" of himself...but don't know who it's been sent to. Your situation sounds so much like mine in it's beginning stages. The only difference is that mine is a horndog....he can't understand why I dont' like being intimate with him anymore...with all he's done it makes me feel used and dirty and I can't help but wonder who he thinks about every time he closes his eyes.
Please be careful...things like this snowball too fast. Don't do like I did and pull the wool over your eyes and say it will get better even when he's doing nothing to stop. I am about to be a single parent of 3 kids with 1 on the way working barely over minimum wage. I should have got out and stayed out a long time ago.
I have print outs of emails where he has told other women that he had left me and was divorcing me becuase I couldn't keep up with him or satisfy him (this was while we were still married and I was pregnant). I remember one year on my birthday he gave me this really sweet, sappy card saying how much he loved me, he even wrote in it about me being his soulmate blah blah...then he turned around and emailed one of his online "friends" telling her how we are seperated his life with me had been hell etc.
The ONLY WAY your man OR mine will EVER change is if they fully admit what they are doing is wrong and they have to put forth TREMENDOUS effort to change....including counseling, being open about everything, allowing us access to everything in order to earn out trust back. BUT if they can't even admit what they are doing is wrong, deceitful, hurtful and a form of betrayal then there is NO hope. I have been going around and around and around with this same situation for going on 9 years only the first 2.5 years I was oblivious to it. It NEVER stops. I have tried being more open to things in the bedroom, I've tried the sexy lingerie, taking pictures, you name it...NOTHING works. I've finally realized that it IS NOT my problem and it's nothing faulty with ME...it's HIM.
It's ESPECIALLY hard when you are pregnant. I know...I dealt with it through my pregnancies with my middle and youngest and now this one. Only YOU can decide what you are willing to put up with. I have put up with it WAY too long without putting my foot down. But this latest has me to a point where sometime next week I'll hopefully be telling him it's over, no more, i deserve better. Recently a woman from his past contacted him via myspace. I had already installed a hidden keylogger on my computer becuase I was suspiciosu again. Well he told me about her contacting him but failed to mention his reply email about how he should have married her instead of "my current ex" meaning me. He has since spent most days talking to her on the phone up to 1/2 hour or more at a time and text messaging her when i'm not around. He has been keeping his phone practically up his butt so I can't get to it. He made the mistake of leaving it in his jeans pocket the other day, that's when my suspicions were confirmed about the phone calls...AND I found that he had taken pictures of a "part" of himself...but don't know who it's been sent to. Your situation sounds so much like mine in it's beginning stages. The only difference is that mine is a horndog....he can't understand why I dont' like being intimate with him anymore...with all he's done it makes me feel used and dirty and I can't help but wonder who he thinks about every time he closes his eyes.
Please be careful...things like this snowball too fast. Don't do like I did and pull the wool over your eyes and say it will get better even when he's doing nothing to stop. I am about to be a single parent of 3 kids with 1 on the way working barely over minimum wage. I should have got out and stayed out a long time ago.
It IS NOT unrealistic to expect him to stop watching porn. There are millions of men who don't. Being married and commited to one another means mind, body soul, eyes, ears, hands, feet, and every other part of you. You wouldn't expect your man to look at another woman naked in person so why is it ok if its porn? I completely disagree with that. ESPECIALLY if it's hard core porn. It's foul, degrading, vulgar and a few other things I'll refrain from saying.
I completely agree with you, GA. I don't expect him to stop but I don't think it's unrealistic of me to want him to. I just feel so hurt and betrayed. He makes me feel like there's something wrong with me and that's the reason he does it. He doesn't make me feel pretty, he never tells me I am and he makes stupid comments about how he hopes this kid comes out looking like him because if it doesn't then my son will never get laid and stuff like that. It's really hurtful to hear this stuff because as a former model, I've always heard quite the opposite.
Well, he just called home from work and he knew instantly that something was wrong, so he asked me and without me even telling him, he knew. He said that the reason he's been doing it is because he doesn't know if it's ok for him to approach me like that. First of all, he has never been the one to "approach" anybody. He's the type to make the 2nd move, not the first. AND, our last conversation about this stuff I specifically told him that he needed to start "asking" and making sure I don't want it before doing that type of thing. I told him today that he was being selfish and completely neglecting my needs, emotionally and physically so what does he do? Tells me that he wants ot do it AS SOON as he gets home before my brother gets home (2 hours after him) so he can get to the gym on time. We were supposed to go grocery shopping tonight and last night, he was supposed to go to the "gym" but ended up staying home because I got on him about spending more time with his friends lately than me. Well, the person he was supposed to go with was shot on his way home from the gym. I told him that we needed to really talk about it once he got home and we hung up. I'll keep you updated.
Well, he just called home from work and he knew instantly that something was wrong, so he asked me and without me even telling him, he knew. He said that the reason he's been doing it is because he doesn't know if it's ok for him to approach me like that. First of all, he has never been the one to "approach" anybody. He's the type to make the 2nd move, not the first. AND, our last conversation about this stuff I specifically told him that he needed to start "asking" and making sure I don't want it before doing that type of thing. I told him today that he was being selfish and completely neglecting my needs, emotionally and physically so what does he do? Tells me that he wants ot do it AS SOON as he gets home before my brother gets home (2 hours after him) so he can get to the gym on time. We were supposed to go grocery shopping tonight and last night, he was supposed to go to the "gym" but ended up staying home because I got on him about spending more time with his friends lately than me. Well, the person he was supposed to go with was shot on his way home from the gym. I told him that we needed to really talk about it once he got home and we hung up. I'll keep you updated.
MomNPain...I'm sorry you are experiencing this. No wife should be put through that. If I EVER caught my hubby online meeting people or jacking off and not having sex with me I would flip out and his bags would be on the porch! A commited loving husband would not need to have these women friends or looking for other interests online. It does not sound like he is commited to you and I think you realize that. It makes me sad to see women stay in relationships that are only one sided. And I'm sure that you can find great qualities in him but if you were looking elsewhere to find satisfaction then could you imagine how he would feel if he were in your shoes? My Dh and I have been together for 8 years and there has never been one moment when I felt like he wasnt 100% commited. There has never been a moment when I was second guessing our love. I hope that you can find that too-everyone deserves that kind of love. Best wishes.
I am so sorry you are going through this. I know soooooo many people that have been touched by this same thing. Just from being on this forum, I have learned of even more. It seems to be coming more and more common. THAT DOES NOT MEAN IT IS NORMAL THOUGH!!! GA said so many really good things and she is right.
I have a friend that had these exact same things happen to her. Her husband would have sex with her, but no matter what she did, it was never enough. He was getting on these multiple sites. He was getting on swinger sites (know full well she would never do this). He would get on a webcam and masturbate. It was just disgusting. She actually took pictures of herself to try to get him to look at her if he felt he needed that. SHE TRIED EVERYTHING!!! She installed some spyware on the computer and found that he had actually posted her pictures on some swinger site!!! She still tried even after that. He had gotten involved with someone at work (they were separated; my friend and hb). She was just about to move her stuff back in the house (I thought she was crazy), and she found an e-mail to this girl saying something like he was happy but thought he may be happier with her. So, my friend eventually gave up. She did kind of have somebody waiting in the wings though. I'm sure that helped her to be strong. Her divorce was final last Feb. and she is now remarried to that "someone waiting in the wings". I think she is happy enough and as time goes on, she will be happier and happier. I thought it was too soon to get married again, but of course, that is not my call. Society/the internet makes these things so easy for men. Society makes it acceptable for me. Well, I don't give a **** about society. It is not right and you don't have to put up with it. When a person is committed to another person, they should be committed body, heart and soul. There are no exceptions to that. I am a woman of faith and believe that that is what God meant marriage to be.
Please keep us all posted and know that we are ALL here to listen.
I have a friend that had these exact same things happen to her. Her husband would have sex with her, but no matter what she did, it was never enough. He was getting on these multiple sites. He was getting on swinger sites (know full well she would never do this). He would get on a webcam and masturbate. It was just disgusting. She actually took pictures of herself to try to get him to look at her if he felt he needed that. SHE TRIED EVERYTHING!!! She installed some spyware on the computer and found that he had actually posted her pictures on some swinger site!!! She still tried even after that. He had gotten involved with someone at work (they were separated; my friend and hb). She was just about to move her stuff back in the house (I thought she was crazy), and she found an e-mail to this girl saying something like he was happy but thought he may be happier with her. So, my friend eventually gave up. She did kind of have somebody waiting in the wings though. I'm sure that helped her to be strong. Her divorce was final last Feb. and she is now remarried to that "someone waiting in the wings". I think she is happy enough and as time goes on, she will be happier and happier. I thought it was too soon to get married again, but of course, that is not my call. Society/the internet makes these things so easy for men. Society makes it acceptable for me. Well, I don't give a **** about society. It is not right and you don't have to put up with it. When a person is committed to another person, they should be committed body, heart and soul. There are no exceptions to that. I am a woman of faith and believe that that is what God meant marriage to be.
Please keep us all posted and know that we are ALL here to listen.
another thing i forgot to mention is that in my situation I have found where he has sent pictures of MY children to these women he doesn't even know....THAT pisses me off more than ANYTHING. He uses our kids as some kind of sympathy and "look at me i'm the good daddy" tool.
OH WOW GA, I would be PIIIIISSED too! I cant believe your DH would do that...you are too good for him- you know that right?
i am sorry that you are going thru this in the midst of your pregnancy! i didn't read everything the other girls wrote yet (i will), but something off the top of my head...i saw a lifetime movie about porn addiction. it is a real thing. maybe he isn't physically cheating with another woman, just addicted to phone sex/computer sex/porn and masturbation. in the movie, the man loved his wife very much. but this was just a horrible addiction that consumed his life! he sought therapy for it to save his marriage. i used to work in mental health and also heard of this addiction from past clients. there are support groups available.
i am not saying that this is what is going on...but just a possibility to research. best of luck to you sweetheart!
i am not saying that this is what is going on...but just a possibility to research. best of luck to you sweetheart!
This is why I am THANKFUL that my Fiance is techno-tarded, and HATES using the computer.
My ex did this to me, I can totally feel all of your frustrations. I was about to type "pain", when I thought, heck, it's not "pain" unless YOU decide to continue to let him do this to you. I put up with it for a couple of years. We fought back and forth for a very long time, when I finally decided enough was enough and I DESERVED better.
Leaving my ex was the best thing I could have EVER accomplished for myself. He made great money and spoiled me rotten, but I am SOOO much happier now with my sexy humble Finace.
My Fiance has porn, and he has porn mags that he had BEFORE we met. I do not worry about his videos OR his magazines, the man can't stand wacking off... he wants the REAL thing.
I am sick of all the sickness in this world!! Porn should be OUTLAWED!!
My ex did this to me, I can totally feel all of your frustrations. I was about to type "pain", when I thought, heck, it's not "pain" unless YOU decide to continue to let him do this to you. I put up with it for a couple of years. We fought back and forth for a very long time, when I finally decided enough was enough and I DESERVED better.
Leaving my ex was the best thing I could have EVER accomplished for myself. He made great money and spoiled me rotten, but I am SOOO much happier now with my sexy humble Finace.
My Fiance has porn, and he has porn mags that he had BEFORE we met. I do not worry about his videos OR his magazines, the man can't stand wacking off... he wants the REAL thing.
I am sick of all the sickness in this world!! Porn should be OUTLAWED!!
I know, you're right. I AM too good for him. Luckily this time when I'm ready to kick him to the curb we're already divorced so it'll be a lot easier. If he refuses all I gotta do is pack his sh!t put it out front and change the locks....everything is in MY name ;)
I have my reasons for waiting, which i won't go into, but it'll happen soon enough. Right now he's not doing it as hard core as he was but the fact that he is making and receiving daily phone calls to/from this girl he knew years ago is enough to really **** me off. Aside from the fact that he's taking pics of his parts and sending them to God only knows who.
I'm so glad when we decided to try and reconcile that I kept everything the same...child support still comes directly to me from his employer, the house and all the utilities are in MY name, my vehicle is in MY name. technically he doens't live with me...his address on everything is still his dad's house and his po box.
I'm so glad when we decided to try and reconcile that I kept everything the same...child support still comes directly to me from his employer, the house and all the utilities are in MY name, my vehicle is in MY name. technically he doens't live with me...his address on everything is still his dad's house and his po box.
I just thought about that "it is unrealistic to ask him to quit" because he is GUY. Men get away with WAYYY too much because they have a sack with two balls dangling betwen their legs. As a woman, I have a HIGH sex drive, but I do not spend time fondling myself looking at OTHER mens naked bodies when my man is AT HOME every night. Lord knows there are TONS of things that men COULD be doing with their time rather than playing with themselves.
The whole dating service thing is enough to make my blood boil thinking about the the scene that would happen in THIS house if my man were to be caught doing something like that. "Those who hide nothing have NOTHING to hide". We should be able to read our man's phone, email messages, mail ANYTHING that comes within our grasp, without the man getting upset and rage about it.
This is how I feel. Like LosingMyMindInGA said.......
"It IS NOT unrealistic to expect him to stop watching porn. There are millions of men who don't. Being married and commited to one another means mind, body soul, eyes, ears, hands, feet, and every other part of you. You wouldn't expect your man to look at another woman naked in person so why is it ok if its porn? I completely disagree with that. ESPECIALLY if it's hard core porn. It's foul, degrading, vulgar and a few other things I'll refrain from saying"
This is so very TRUE!
The whole dating service thing is enough to make my blood boil thinking about the the scene that would happen in THIS house if my man were to be caught doing something like that. "Those who hide nothing have NOTHING to hide". We should be able to read our man's phone, email messages, mail ANYTHING that comes within our grasp, without the man getting upset and rage about it.
This is how I feel. Like LosingMyMindInGA said.......
"It IS NOT unrealistic to expect him to stop watching porn. There are millions of men who don't. Being married and commited to one another means mind, body soul, eyes, ears, hands, feet, and every other part of you. You wouldn't expect your man to look at another woman naked in person so why is it ok if its porn? I completely disagree with that. ESPECIALLY if it's hard core porn. It's foul, degrading, vulgar and a few other things I'll refrain from saying"
This is so very TRUE!
I'm sorry that you are going through this, especially right now!! When I was pregnant with my first my hubby became very detached and started being out all hours of the night with his friends. I had my suspicions but could not find proof of anything until one night he slipped up and thought I was sleeping when I wasn't. I heard him having phone sex with another woman and then him say "Yeah, I'll come over" and then leave the house. He tried denying it but was absolutly busted. Here I was carrying his child (8 months along to boot) and had to deal with this. I kicked him out. Helped him pack his bags and everything. That was a real eye opener for him and we did reconcile before our daughter was born. I didn't trust him for a long time afterwards though and let him know that if we were going to be together he was going to have to work REALLY hard to earn back all that trust he flushed down the toilet. I think the BIG eye opener was when he saw our daughter for the first time. This was almost four years ago and I have not had a worry since. We are currently expecting and I couldn't ask for a better partner. He takes care of me and helps with our daughter, plus does all the house work. I will pray that things turn out as well for you. Remember, if they don't you have to do what is best for your emotional health. I know it's a hard situation and decision but you and that baby are the most important things!! Good luck and stay strong.
We had a talk..a few, actually and he apologized. I'm not sure if he meant it totally or not but there was a few things that makes me think he might have. First off, before we even started talking he said "Chels', please don't leave me. You're not going to leave me, are you?" and also, when he started to get a bit pissy, I told him I'd leave faster than he could blink if he didn't shut the hell up...and he did. He didn't argue with me like he usually does. He just listened. All of those things also make it sound a little too easy though. I really want to trust him and believe that I am just being paranoid but there's just this little part of me that's saying that I have reason. Later on, I went to go type something into the google search bar and something else came up. A whole bunch of things, actually...celebrity porn, nude pictures....then.....his ex's live journal account along with her best friend's, who he also "messed around" with. He denies it of course, but I know better. The funny thing is...when I searched the history, it wasn't on there. We just had to do a full system restore not too long ago so there were only a few days of history but I know for a fact he doesn't know how to clear it or delete something off of it. (Sad because he's a computer engineer and writes software all day long.) So, I don't know. He's being super nice to me now - he brough me home some peach rings (which I have been craving riduculously throughout this pregnancy) and even told me that HE would make dinner - which is something he NEVER does. He told me that he wanted to do something really special next time we get a chance without having to rush (my brother lives with us and gets hone an hour after DH does and is CONSTANTLY up our *****) and spend a romantic evening together. We just had our 3 yr anniversary and we have never had a romantic evening. So, we'll see.
He just doesn't get it. I don't think any man does. It's not the fact that he's whacking off or watching porn that upsets me...it's the fact that HE LIES to me about it. It also upsets me because I feel like he's neglecting my needs...but then again I'm not a guy and need it 4 times a day. We'll see how things go for the next couple of days...thanks to one of you, I now have a keylogger on my computer and will be watching to see if he does think I'm just stupid.
He just doesn't get it. I don't think any man does. It's not the fact that he's whacking off or watching porn that upsets me...it's the fact that HE LIES to me about it. It also upsets me because I feel like he's neglecting my needs...but then again I'm not a guy and need it 4 times a day. We'll see how things go for the next couple of days...thanks to one of you, I now have a keylogger on my computer and will be watching to see if he does think I'm just stupid.
I really hope that things work out for you!! Maybe he needed to hear that you will leave him if things don't change. I strongly believe that people CAN change if it's important enough to them. No matter what happens stay strong and take care of yourself and baby!!
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