Orphaned Niece

[Lover9999]

Well, you see, my sister (widowed) just died of cancer, leaving her three year old daughter without her parents. As my sister was in the hospital, she said that if she died, she wanted me to take care of her daughter and I don't want to deny her only death wish. But I have a daughter of my own coming, and I'm unsure of how to proceed. Any ideas?

[julianovak]

Im so sorry for your loss. If my sister/husband passed away I would also adopt their child in a heartbeat. Your niece is a part of your sister thats still alive. I cant imagine her being more comfortable with someone other then you. Shes very little only 3 yrs old. Please dont for get about her. I have a daughter who is turning three. I cant imagine how very confused she would get if I passed.

Hopefully you are in the will. Her coming into your family wont mess it up! Just because your expecting and whatnot doesnt mean you cant be a parent to your sisters daughter. She needs a mom now. Im sure she will be an awesome helper when your little one gets here. She'll have a lot of fun, and itll break the ice for you and your niece to get along.

[Quintenswife2003]

Your niece should get survivor benifets which can help raise her

[Quintenswife2003]

Id look on adoption sites and find a home with 2 loving parents, but you want to remain her Aunt with visitations

[30something13]

I am so sorry for your loss. I can not imagine your pain.

My DH and I have been talking about this as well if something happened to the both of us. It is good to have wills and the financial means for the loved ones caring for the little ones.Social Security in the US will pay out to children whose parents have died till they reach the age of 18. I hope something like this may help you also! You will have lots of new first all coming at once but I belive we are not given more then what we can handle in life and we have the opertunity to make it for the better if we allow it. Children are more resilant then we are most of the time and for your niece and new baby they will be able to adjust to life. It is harder for us as we have ideas hwo things are to go already and dreams. You will do fine and I wish strength you need through this time.

[vacuumprincess]

I understand that you have a child comming, but you can't deny your niece.  Could you imagine growing up to realize that someone didn't want you?   Can't there be enough love in your family for all?  Were you close to your sister?  I'm sorry for your loss.

however, if you truly feel that you would slight the 3 yr old love because you have your own child, then perhaps she would be better off with someone who truly wants her.

I always thought that I would love to take in orphaned children of all ages.  I would love to have a few more in my household, but I don't have the means to do so.  We only have a 3 bedroom house & it takes $$$ to raise children.  I guess that is just an excuse.  My cousin has 4 of her own & has adopted 4 others from different countries.

remember:  Love runs deeper & is thicker than blood.  You do not have to be closely blood related to be a family.

[Lover9999]

Thanks for the support

[JoyRenee]

Yes please keep us updated. This is just so tragic. Do you live in the same town as your sister? Will her daughter have to change schools? It will be an adjustment for all of you but you guys will make it. Your niece needs you and your sister trusted you to care for her. I hope that your sister's last wish is granted by her lawyers or executor of the estate. Most people with cancer will write up a will so there may be something in writing.

Is she staying with you in the meantime? Or who is she with?

Sorry for all the questions. I just cannot imagine! If my sister and her husband died I'd take her four daughters in a heartbeat. I wouldn't want them with anyone else. *HUGS*

[cr2009]

post an update when you get the chance

[Lover9999]

Thanks for the help. I think I'll do that.

[cr2009]

You may also want to speak with a family lawyer just because going through the system is hard to navigate.

My husband's sister was not a fit mother and his mother had to go to court to get custody of that baby and it took a few months of the baby being in children's aid before she got custody.

I hope everything works out.

[cnhauk]

First of all, I am so very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine having to go through such a horrible tragedy.
Second, find out if your sister had a living will, and if she did, what it says about the future of her daughter in it. That will determine a lot. If she does have a will and it states she wants you to have custody of her daughter should something happen to her, you and the lawyer will have a lot to figure out.
Do you have the means financially to care for your niece? Do you have other family around that can help you raise her and help with the financial part of caring for her? She's so young and probably doesn't understand, so it's important that she have family around to be there for her.
Again, so very sorry for your loss, and I hope you can figure out the best solution to this unfortunate circumstance.