1 bedroom apartment and 2 kids

[Nini2686]

So I just moved into a 1 bedroom apartment but it is a very nice and spacious apartment. I have a 19th month old daughter that has a crib on the other side of my bedroom and usually she sleeps through the night. If she wakes up she just comes in my bed and goes back to sleep until morning. I would have loved to get a 2 bedroom but just couldn't afford it right now. I am expecting my 2nd child in september and just concerned about sleeping arrangements. I have a bassinet that I used with my daughter and was planing on keeping it on the side of my bed.
My question is. Will this work? Will my daughter be able to sleep well with a newborn in the room with us? I'm contemplating sleeping in the living room with the newborn but really don't want to have to leave my room. I just want to make sure my daughter's sleep isn't jeopardized.

[LosingMyMindInGA]

Not all states have codes like that.  You can easily call your nearest fire station and ask them if they have codes for that.  Or if you're good at on-line research look up the residential statutes in your area.  

[JoyRenee]

I didn't read all the other comments so forgive me if I repeat anything. I LOVE bedsharing/cosleeping! It has many proven benefits to you and to baby and can even reduce the risk of SIDs. It'll be cozy, that's for sure, but I bet you guys will do fine. You never know what will happen in 6 months, a year, 2 years, etc. Probably only temporary, girl! You'll do just great.

[Rhi315]

I seriously doubt that they will evict you from your apartment. My friend lived in a one bedroom with her 2 babies AND her husband. lol. They're usually not too strict about it. And it is against the law for a mother and her son to share a bedroom together in VA. I think over the age of 2? And for a female and male child to share a room together even as infants. But, I wouldn't worry about the codes and being evicted right now, I would worry about how you're going to work out this living arrangement. Especially if it's a large complex, they have too much other crap to worry about than honest people trying to get by.

[Ashelen]

It's because studio apartments are zoned as bedrooms AND living rooms...fire codes are very strict about which rooms are zoned for which things....mostly because when a fireman has to come into your house, if you have a 1 bedroom apartment they are going to be looking for 2 people because that's how many people are zoned for 1 bedroom....if you are in a 2 bedroom, they'll search for 4 people, and so on...but if you live in a 1 bedroom and you have, for instance, 3 or 4 people...they're going to stop looking after 2 unless there is someone there specifically to tell them that there are more people to look for.

Nini - I mean I doubt it...like I said, most landlords don't make a stink and since you're not there long-term it's probably not a huge deal, but it just depends on your landlord.

[tryingfor1sttime815]

If sleeping in the living room is against the law then why do we have studio apartments?  I, my husband, and my daughter was all in a one bedroom, we turned the dining room into an area for my daughter when she turned one.  It was against policy for all 3 of us being in a one bedroom apartment but I thought it was for other reasons, such as having multiple families living in a small area.  My husband wasn't on the lease and we were not married so he was a "guest" they never knew because it was a big complex and we never caused problems.  

[Nini2686]

I'm in NJ and had no idea about these fire code laws!! I just started my lease in April, would they evict me? I will definitely be in the living room then if that will solve the problem.

[penswriter]

I'm wish Ashelen...get a pull out couch. When I was younger my mom had to get a 1 bedroom with me and my brother. My brother and I shared the bedroom (I was 5 he was 2) and she took the couch. They do make very comfy pull out couches now a days.

And she's also right about fire safety codes. I know in at least PA it's against the law for more than 2 people to share a bedroom. Which is why my dh and I are having such a hard time finding a place to rent before we buy our house next year. We have two boys and ourselves. We have no choice but to get a 2+ bedroom house.

[Ashelen]

I would say get a pull-out couch!you also need to keep an eye on laws in your area. most fire codes make it illegal for more than 2 people to share the same bedroom (and sleeping in the living room as your primary bedroom DEFINITELY violates almost every state's fire code), unless a child is under the age of, I believe, 1...so your  baby could share the bedroom with you, but your daughter legally has to have her own room. Most landlords don't enforce this, and the law is different in every state, but you really need to look it up an keep an eye out just in case. I totally understand not being able to afford a bigger place...when we were renting a 2 bedroom, we were starting to worry because in Florida any 2 children over the age of 5 sharing the same bedroom must be of the same gender, and since we have 1 boy and 1 girl it was going to be a problem...luckily the house we bought is a 3br.

but anyway I just wanted to let you know in case it ever crops up..like I said, fire codes are different and not all landlords enforce it (in fact most, I'd say, don't as long as you're paying your rent) but just a heads-up.

[Nini2686]

Thanks for all your advice. I really appreciate it. My daughter is thankfully a very sound sleeper and I will probably sleep in the living room for a few months. My daughter was very quick at getting at a routine and sleeping through the night and I am praying that this baby will be too. However, just in case this does not happen I do not want my daughter's sleep to be disturbed so I will most likely keep the bassinet in the living room. I did look into social services for help with an apartment but we make too much to qualify in our area. I will just have to struggle alittle bit for about 10 months until my lease is up and then I will definitely need to find a 2 bedroom.

[vacuumprincess]

I too would pick a spot in the living room.

Have you contacted your local family services to see if they can help you with a bigger apartment?  There are complexes that have a sliding scale based on income.  Sometimes a HUD home works too (I believe that is government based & They help pay part of the rent for you)  Sometimes these homes / apartments are really nice!  There may be a wait list, so I would check it out asap.  Or maybe habitat for humanity?  They are really big on wanting to make sure each household member has a bedroom & a bed to sleep in.

It is not charity if you are truly trying to better you situation.  It doesn't have to be permanent. remember that it takes a village to raise a child.

[LosingMyMindInGA]

Kids are very resiliant.  I had a 2 yr old in my room in his crib and had a newborn in her bassinett.  She woke him up occasionally but for the most part he got used to her noises pretty quickly and she didn't bother him.  I did sleep in the living room with my daughter for the first 2 months though until she got out of the waking 2-3 times per night.  Once she was down to waking ONCE a night we moved back to the bedroom with DH and DS2.  When my daughter was 5 months we moved DS2 into the room with his brother and now my daughter is in the crib in our room.  

It would be a good idea to move your toddlers bed into the living room, BUT, if you are not comfortable with it or are afraid she will wake up and get into things, then try and make her space in your room a little more private.  Maybe you cuold hang a sheet from the ceiling to seperate it or something.  

[need_answers_from_someone]

I would try to cure your toddler of coming into bed with you before the new baby arrives.  My friend's little one used to do that and it became a huge problem when she had a second baby.  The toddler would climb into bed with her then the baby would cry and she would get up causing her toddler to get up.  The toddler was not getting the sleep she needed because of all of the waking up at night and she became a handful during the day.  Between the newborn and a sleepy toddler my friend had a very difficult time.  After you get your little one sleeping in her own bed all night then it will be easier to move her into her own area (a section of the living room close to your bedroom door).  I would also do it before you have another baby so she does not feel displaced due to the baby.  That will create resentment.  good luck to you.

[wannabeamommy0124]

i agree i would pick a spot in the living room to put a toddler bed for your daughter and that way she has her space. maybe put a little canopy over it or something to make it a little more private? she will have her play and bed room in one...

[Rhi315]

My friend was recently in this same situation. She had a very large living room, and moved her daughter's bed out there and kind of made it like her area. and kept the newborn in her room with her. Her daughter still woke up and got in her bed lol but I think it will work out however you do it, and I guess it depends on how deep of a sleeper your daughter is.