Public transit -- Poll

[kimmery]

Should pregnant women ask other Public Transit riders to give up their seat?

Some days I am fine standing, others I have a lot of ligament and back pain. I've been depending on the kindness of strangers but am starting to get frustrated. Should I ask for a seat when no one is offering? And how should I do so, politely?

BTW, I am OBVIOUSLY pregnant at this stage of the game.

[kimmery]

Wow, I didn't see all these replies until now. I am thinking I am going to HAVE to start asking for a seat. Have been having Braxton Hicks and dizziness lately, in addition to the soreness, and find I NEED to sit when I have them.

Thanks for all the feedback everyone! I will definitely be using your examples/suggestions.

[amy8702]

I don't think its rude at all, no one is going to protect that baby at this point but you. Where I live, you HAVE to give up your seat to pregnant, elderly, parents with small children and handicapped. The driver makes sure of it.

[NicoleW09]

She didn't say that you called her a wuss either. :-/

You are allowed to have your own opinion. I don't think I'd ask someone to get up for me unless I was about to be sick or faint, which I did frequently while pregnant. If I really felt sick, I would ask if I could have their seat, and I don't think it's rude or inappropriate at all.

They don't HAVE to give their seat up at all if a pregnant woman asks for it. Would they feel bad for declining their seat to her? Idk, maybe. But they'd feel bad because they knew deep down that maybe that pregnant woman needed the seat slightly more than they did. Would it guilt them into giving the seat up? Maybe, but I was about to toss my lunch on someone's lap or knock myself out on one of the seats in front or behind me, I believe I'd be asking. I don't think it'd make me a weak or rude person, and if that person thought I was rude for asking...well, honeslty, I'm not really sure I'd care. I know how sick I was during my pregnancy, and when I got sick I was unconcerned with what people thought of me.

I asked a man in the mall for his seat in a recliner outside the JC Penney store when I was 37 weeks pregnant. I was having contractions and was really dizzy. He gave his seat up to me and told my husband to stay with me while he went and got me a water from the vending machine because he said I looked pale. So, in my experience, the man didn't think I was rude at all, he was genuinely concerned about me and was waiting on his wife to come out of the store.

[honeydew21]

I never said anything about wussy. I said I...as in ME...my OWN PERSONAL OPINION, find it rude to ask someone to move so I could sit down. And if you had read my entire post everyone would have seen that I also said that I think (and personally have gotten up) any able bodied person should give up their seat.

But I wouldn't go and ask someone to get up for me. But, again, that is MY OPINION. Which, as far as I know, I'm allowed to have.

[Nessamorin]

Well this has nothing with riding the bus but yesterday I went to the grocery store, I was in the check out lane, there was no one in front of me but a bunch of fruits and bread... All of a sudden a man pushed me up to my cart so he could get past me, of course I told him he was,squishing me because im pregnant and he didnt even aknoledge that, he just told me u did good, what an ***! I was so upset I complained to the cashier and customer service!! I dont understand how people could be like that

[Linzola1]

I agree it is by no means rude to ask! I would ask if I needed it, and always give the elderly or pregnant or ones with kids my seat.

[adgal]

I think it's incredibly rude not to offer someone in need of their seat.  However, if that were the case, and no one offered, I would have no problem at all asking.  I worked right in our downtown core when I was very very pregnant.  I often had meetings outside of the office and had to take our train.  If no one offered (I too had trouble standing towards the end...I had some minor medical issues as well) I'll tell you what worked for me.  I would stand and not say a word.  Just as the train started to move, I would put my hand on my stomach and let out a very loud "Oh" and kind of bend over a bit.  Lol, you should have seen them scramble to give me their seats.  I think people thought I was going into labor right then and there.  It was great, and made people think about their actions.

Wussy?  Nope.  More like foolish not to ask and take a risk of falling or something.  If someone thinks it rude, I would rather risk that then risk a fall or the health of me or my baby.  You do what you need to do.  Nothing is more important, including other peoples opinions of you.  

[dominosarah]

I find it rude that someone wouldnt give up their seat for a pregnant worman or an elderly person.

Ashelen, you are no wuss, you are just taking care of yourself and the baby.  Asking for a seat is not rude in my book at all.  

[mrs_bagz]

Hell yeah. Id ask too.
I can't stand very long if the temperature is warm... I get dizzy. If I don't sit, I pass out.
You best believe if that started happening on a damn bus id ask someone if I could sit down. Or if it got too bad, id sit on the damn floor. Haha.

[Ashelen]

So if you were in a lot of pain, or felt like you were about to collapse...you'd just go for it and faint right there on the bus? Ok. I guess I've had issues during my pregnancies that would make it seriously dangerous not to sit down if I felt faint (such as passing out during my last pregnancy)...I also have heart issues that can cause dizziness or fainting, and I have kidney issues that can cause crippling pain.

So..maybe I'm a wuss. thanks for that! but no matter what's "wrong with me"...if I need a seat, I'm going to ask for it. sorry.

[honeydew21]

I take the bus here in my city. (It's so much cheaper than a lease/month) And while I do give up my seat for moms who have their kids with them (My kids DO NOT ride the bus. The things I see and hear...absolutely not, if we go somewhere and the kids are with us, we take our vehicle.), pregnant women and the elderly I just find it rude to flat out ask someone to get up. I would never ask someone to get up for me, no matter what was wrong with me or if I was pregnant.

Do I think able bodied people should get up for the handicapped, elderly, moms with kids and pregnant women? Absolutely. I also thing the front side seats should be just for those with those issues. But there are rude people out there who will let an 8 months pregnant woman just stand or a 95 year old man try to not fall.

But, me being me, I'd never ask someone to get up for me. I'd just hope people were decent enough to do it on their own.

[Ashelen]

If you feel you need it, absolutely ask. It's vital for you and baby's health that if you feel light-headed or in pain, you need to sit to avoid fainting or putting too much strain on your body.

I ran into a similar situation when we were at Disney World at one point when I was pregnant...the bus was packed and no one was giving up their seat, so I singled out a young healthy man and walked up to him and bluntly said "I'm pregnant and feeling quite faint, and I don't mean to be rude, but I'm going to sit on you if I don't find a place to sit right away"...not only did he jump up and apologize profusely and spend the entire ride talking to me and being overly kind, but 4 or 5 other people stood up and apologized profusely as well. Sometimes people may not notice or think outside of their own concerns, and it has nothing to do with not wanting to help you or not caring..they just don't plain old notice, even if your belly is big!

I would find someone who looks healthy and capable of standing (preferably a man because they are more sympathetic in my experience, lol) and say something along the lines of "I'm sorry to bother you, but this pregnancy has me feeling faint and I'm afraid I might keel over if I don't sit down!" or "I'm sorry but I've had a lot of pain with this pregnancy and I'm having a hard time standing while the bus is moving, may I please have your seat?"

If they don't give it up, chances are someone else will hear and be sympathetic.