Smoking and Drinking Theory

[KensleysMom]

I have a theory and just want some answers. For the women that smoke or drink during pregnancy are the dads involved? If so do they smoke or drink? Is that why they dont apply the pressure to stop? I know for a fact mine would go bat s*** and would probably leave me.

[KensleysMom]

@Razis and Shelly before this forum I half brought the smoking is an addiction thing. But there are some women on here that have given up their sanity for their child's health by going off their meds. I cant relate to this "smoking addiction", but if a woman can do that I feel a person can give up something that they made their coping mechanism. Also mom2 brought up the point that some women may not even connect to their child in the womb, therefore not feeling the need to quit at all.

[RazisMama]

I'm sure you theory is correct when it comes to some people but the world doesn't give you colors for you to only see black and white.

[GordonBaby]

Cleary to each is own...I gradually quit after 9 weeks (when I found out). Took me about three weeks to wean down and then eventually be done. My babys father smoked and didn't seem to care either way until we split up, then he tried to hassle me....smh. But either way, I also think will power has a lot to do with it. I gave up nicotine but I haven't given up caffeine. I have cut way back on coffee but haven't stopped completely. My mother smoked while pregnant with me and I was fine, but I choose to not smoke while im pregnant with my son. Plus I want to breast feed. I probably wont pick back up the habit either, healthy and a huge money saver.

[ShellyLette]

I agree with razismama too. Because I've dealt with addiction, ive witnessed many kinds in my family. No matter how hard someone tries to get a person to end their addiction, that person will not quit unless they are truly ready. That's addiction of any kind. Pills, alcohol, cigarettes, etc

[RazisMama]

I also in a way agree with mom2ariana.

[KensleysMom]

@barbie I dont think its just up to the mother to determine the health of a person that two people created. If thats the case if that child does have issues the mother should be responsible for all medical bills that she created for that child. @mom2 that is a valid point I didnt really embrace my pregnancy till a out 17 weeks. So perhaps later in pregnancy a bell might go off for other women.

[yourstruly21]

I smoked when I was pregnant but most of my pregnancy my husband was in Afghanistan

[RazisMama]

No one can change what that person does* you can't make anyone stop anything.

[RazisMama]

If a person has a addiction no one can get change what that person does.

[KTowne]

just because some elses baby is fine doesnt mean yours will be, and no u/s can tell if your baby is 100% healthy, only being born can. And even then, babies may be healthy at birth and develop asthma, SIDS, etc. My mom smoked with me and I developed asthma as a toddler, no other family history of it, my sister had SIDS, all 3 of us were under 6lbs.. not healthy birth weights, full term.. no judgement on anyone for doing it, just there are risks associated, and I agree with the theory, and if i ever did smoke, was pregnant and my husband asked me to stop, i would respect it's his child I'm making.

[mom2ariana]

i had a friend who didn't smoke during her pregnancy, but her boyfriend who lived with her did.
i smoked the first couple of weeks after i found out, and i quit because i didn't want to risk the health of my child. my husband didn't smoke, but didn't force me to quit either.
it depends on the woman, her personal convictions, and her connection to the baby. some women connect to their child very early on in pregnancy, while others connect soon after birth. it's easier to quit when the pregnancy feels real.

[BarbieAnn85]

IT'S NOBODY'S BUSINESS BUT THAT MOTHERS. I am 23+4 and i still smoke, I tried to quit it didnt work so well seeing as i have been smoking for 17 years. At my anatomy scan my doc said babies right on track no birth defects or abnormalities. I've had friends that smoked during their pregnancy and their babies are fine, my mo smoked with my sis and i and we are fine. i have also have friends that did worse and luckily had healthy babies.

[mommabear27]

My BD and his whole family smoke.   I - and the whole of my family, don't.    If BD wants toi smoke he goes outside the house, and has a drink and some mints to take the taste away.   His clothes never smell like smoke.    If we with his family thought, they'll all light up in the living room so I tend to pull the neck of my top up over my nose and mouth to minimise the amount of smoke.   They won't be doing that once baby arrives or they won't be seeing it thats for sure.   It takes 3 hours for smoke to dissipate entirely from a room, why should I increase my babys's chances of SIDs or asthma becuase they can't curb their habiots lol/      BD's cousin and his GF smoked while she was pregnant with their daughter.   The daughter is now 1 and can't speak, can't stand or walk and can't feed herself, she is, according to the Dr, about 3 months behind in her development and he ontributed this to the parents smoking x

[Bri_1985]

I'll agree with your theory. But I have a friend who smoked and she was dating someone who didnt. He didnt necessarily ask her to quit but asked that she not smoke around him. Eventually she did quit smoking because of him.

[krizmart]

My brothers ex smoked weed through both her pregnancies and yes my brother did smoke too when they were together,but he also wasnt around alot just because and that made her wanna get high even more,they both didnt guve a damnn so i think theres some truth to your theory for sure.

[MrsCookii]

Lol yup that is true

[ShellyLette]

Just for an example the only couple I know where one smokes and the other does not.. the guy would literally only smoke when she wasn't around and went through so many obstacles to hide the smell. I'm talking mints, mouthwash, cologne, brushing teeth several times, changing shirts, etc.

[MrsCookii]

I use to be a smoker and you are right if they are both doing the same and only one is trying to stop its alot harder because its still in your face everyday. I use to smoke because it helped with all of the stress and my anxiety whi DJ was alot better than being doped up everyday. When I found out I was pregnant I decided to quit but I found out when I was 12wks so my doctor told me that I need to stop gradually because if I stop cold turkey it would cause alot of stress on the baby because the baby will go through withdraw. By time I was 16wks I was completely done smoking. But yes your theory sounds about right!

[ShellyLette]

I believe your theory would be correct, because you have to look at it from this point of view as well. A person who smokes or drinks is most likely with someone who does as well. Mostly smokers, because to a non smoker it stinks. You reek of cigarettes if you smoke. You taste like cigarettes when they kiss you, you know?

[KensleysMom]

@ftmom, thats what I figured the dad had to be a smoker or drinker as well or feels emasculated lol.

[KensleysMom]

The guy would be making you stop because of the health of his child. Im not talking about smoking when not pregnant.

[ftmom2beaug28]

most women I know who have smoked during pregnancy have husbands that smoke or never asked them to quit.

[KensleysMom]

Im not judging I just had a theory and wanted answers. But I dont think that those in this situation are going to respond.

[katiemarie123]

I smoked for the first couple weeks when I first found out but I couldn't do it anymore because I couldn't risk the health of my baby. But if a guy tried forcing me to stop I don't think it would change anything because its my body. I'm against smoking or doing anything unhealthy like that but my cousin smoked threw her hole pregnancy and he was ok. It just depends on the person I guess and what they think Is ok