Babyshower disappointment

[Stephie504]

My baby shower is Saturday. I'm only 25weeks. I've been upset lately bc I feel like its going to be a big disappointment. My fiances mother planned it way too early, an hour away from where we live, and none of my friends/fam are going to make it. Now before anyone thinks I'm being selfish, I'm very grateful that she's throwing it for us, but I feel like its all for her. Her friends, her family, her plans, her everything. I told her no one on my part would make it and she had the nerve to say she was upset now. First, she never looked anywhere besides where she lives. I think its unfair to have a baby shower inbetween holidays and then expect people to drive an hour or more to your baby shower and gift you. I asked her why she never checked with me to see if I knew of a hall half way I would have paid for it. She said she and her husband looked where THEY live and it was all over 400$... really woman?!?!?! Its all BS, she just wants it at her house. I keep thinking its going to be so ghetto and not what I wanted.  I hadn't even found out what the babys sex was and she had told me in August that the baby shower was planned for December 7th. I know she's excited but my word. Im so scared I'm going to get there and If its disappointing to me, I know how I am I won't be able to hide the expressions on my face. I don't want to hurt anyones feelings, but I strongly feel that she never put me into consideration and what kind of theme I would want or how many of my friends and family would come. I don't have my mother anymore and it would at least be nice to have my aunts and friends be able to attend but they won't be able to. It really breaks my heart. My fiance just tells me we can have another one with my friends at our house but I would feel so greedy doing that. I don't want anyone thinking I'm being selfish, I just wanted to be around my loved ones celebrating something special like this, not around a bunch of strangers. And I found out the shower was planned by his mom his aunt and his older cousin. His aunt is great I tell her everything but her daughter his older cousin, I feel like she might just be going to be nosey. The woman never talks to me never acknowledges me and let's her little boy talk vulgar to me. Ugh . Oh and we were there for thanksgiving, I asked his mom what color dress I should buy for my shower and she looked at me crazy, why don't u just wear jeans and a tshirt or better yet why don't u go buy an evening gown and we all wear tuxes? Ummm NO MA'AM!!!! How rude was that? Shes really pushing me but I'm going to hold my tongue bc I have respect for my elders, but I'm not showing up looking a mess for my own baby shower.
Anyone else having/had this problem??? I know I can't be the only one? What should I do? :/

[Mommy2Kayden]

I think you should just try to enjoy yourself and let her know how thankful you are. I would have another closer to your place where people you know will be able to make it. Just let them know that you want to have this experience with all of your family and friends. I don't think anyone will view you as selfish and if they do that's their problem. I had 3 showers. My church threw one, my friend threw one and my work threw one and I had no participation in planning any. No one viewed it as me being jealous just that I had several different groups of people wanting to be a part of it.

[baby_love2014]

I agree, I dont see a problem in having another baby shower ... one where you can have all your friends and family. I do think it was kinda rude for her to not make it more convenient for you and your loved ones, but at the same time,  you're lucky she's throwing you one. My fiancés mom hasnt done crap for our baby. I told her the name we picked out and all she could really say is "bummer". At least your fiancés mom acts like she cares.

[Kelseymichelle]

A baby shower isnt just for gifts its a celebration of your pregnancy. You aren't being selfish!  If people are willing to come to a second one, then definitely have one.  This is a time for you to celebrate, and cherish. Mother in laws can be testy, she's being helpful in whatever way she thinks is best so just appreciate the thought and effort - and still have your own baby shower the way you want it.