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Boyfriends dad trying to make us abort the baby....
My boyfriend's parents are extremely against us having the baby. The mom lives in the U.S and the dad lives in China (Never met him). At first the mom was against the the pregnancy but now ways she will support our decision to keep the baby. Now the dad found out and is furious. He wants to fly back to the States and try to get my boyfriend to leave me. I'm also afraid that the will try to go to my house and talk to my parents.
I'm 32 with 3 kids from a previous marriage and he's 26 and recenty got out of the airforce. We have been together for 2 yrs and he gets along great with my kids. My kids adore him and look up to him.
His dad freaked out when he found out about my age and that I had kids. He feels that my boyfriend shouldn't be with someone like me and having a baby with me is out of the question.I know his dad feels like he shouldn't be raising someone elses kids and he should find someone that is younger than him. His dad feels that I'm a burden and I will drag his son down.
My boyfriend told him that we are having this baby no matter what but his dad refuses to hear him out and is planning to fly back and stop this.
I know as parents we want what is best for our children. But, my boyfriend's dad is treating him like he is a child. We are adults and can make our own decisions and he is trying to bully us and make us abort this baby. My boyfriend is stressed out and I'm am even more stressed then him.
I just wanted to share this and vent.
I'm 32 with 3 kids from a previous marriage and he's 26 and recenty got out of the airforce. We have been together for 2 yrs and he gets along great with my kids. My kids adore him and look up to him.
His dad freaked out when he found out about my age and that I had kids. He feels that my boyfriend shouldn't be with someone like me and having a baby with me is out of the question.I know his dad feels like he shouldn't be raising someone elses kids and he should find someone that is younger than him. His dad feels that I'm a burden and I will drag his son down.
My boyfriend told him that we are having this baby no matter what but his dad refuses to hear him out and is planning to fly back and stop this.
I know as parents we want what is best for our children. But, my boyfriend's dad is treating him like he is a child. We are adults and can make our own decisions and he is trying to bully us and make us abort this baby. My boyfriend is stressed out and I'm am even more stressed then him.
I just wanted to share this and vent.
Thank you so much for your support! You guys are WONDERFUL! I had a long talk with my boyfriend and he said he will tell his dad to that there is nothing that is going to change our mind. This is our baby and we are going to keep him/her no matter what. Hopefully he can convince his dad not to fly down to make things worse.
Thanks! ~ Jen
Thanks! ~ Jen
I would have to agree with martikadragoon be really careful because some people do go to extreme circumstances to prove a point. Honestly I would stay away from him as long as possible in case he does try to hurt you or the baby, people are really crazy now a days!! Good luck and God Bless
I married my husband in August and we are having a baby in December. His parents are Arabic (he was born here). I have two children and am 33. He just turned 21. I know all about how you feel!
We just told his parents that we didn't care what they thought - we were having this baby and if they didn't like it, they would end up missing out on their first grandchild's life. No one in his family came to our wedding. His mom is starting to come around about the baby a little bit now, but he refuses to talk to his dad after his dad called me a *****.
As long as the two of you love each other and are OK with doing this despite their objection, there's really no issue involved. There will always be someone who will agree or not agree with your decisions, but they are just that - YOUR decisions!
We just told his parents that we didn't care what they thought - we were having this baby and if they didn't like it, they would end up missing out on their first grandchild's life. No one in his family came to our wedding. His mom is starting to come around about the baby a little bit now, but he refuses to talk to his dad after his dad called me a *****.
As long as the two of you love each other and are OK with doing this despite their objection, there's really no issue involved. There will always be someone who will agree or not agree with your decisions, but they are just that - YOUR decisions!
Your bf is 26 and you are 32, right?
Who cares what his Father thinks.. That is ridiculous. His Father is a ridiculous man!
I am 30 and my bf (on again off again) is 44. My Father was P I S S E D. I am not married and have no plans on marrying my bf. No one is my family has ever had a child out of wedlock (until now.. I am 28 weeks). My Father didn't speak to me for nearly 3 months.. BUT, as stressful as that was, I am an adult and he never tried to force a decision on me. I am a grown woman.
You bf should politely tell his Father that a decision has been made that does not concern him, and he would like him to be involved as a Grandfather, but if he is going to continue to cause undue stress and show no support, then he will have no relationship with him (your bf) or his unborn grandchild at all..
Parents do TRY and do the best for their children.. I understand parents will always be parents (regardless of the age of their children) but there comes a point in time when a parent knows there are certain lines that can no longer be crossed.. Your bf's Father is crossing some serious lines.
You can vent to us anytime! Good luck and I am sorry about yoru stress level! Hopefully it will resolve soon!
Who cares what his Father thinks.. That is ridiculous. His Father is a ridiculous man!
I am 30 and my bf (on again off again) is 44. My Father was P I S S E D. I am not married and have no plans on marrying my bf. No one is my family has ever had a child out of wedlock (until now.. I am 28 weeks). My Father didn't speak to me for nearly 3 months.. BUT, as stressful as that was, I am an adult and he never tried to force a decision on me. I am a grown woman.
You bf should politely tell his Father that a decision has been made that does not concern him, and he would like him to be involved as a Grandfather, but if he is going to continue to cause undue stress and show no support, then he will have no relationship with him (your bf) or his unborn grandchild at all..
Parents do TRY and do the best for their children.. I understand parents will always be parents (regardless of the age of their children) but there comes a point in time when a parent knows there are certain lines that can no longer be crossed.. Your bf's Father is crossing some serious lines.
You can vent to us anytime! Good luck and I am sorry about yoru stress level! Hopefully it will resolve soon!
I remember with my first child that my mother was furious. Of course, I was 18 then. She wanted me to abort the baby, but I refused. It was hard at first, especially since I had noone else to turn to. I called my mother when I went into labor and she came. Even though she still wasn't happy about me keeping the baby, she was so excited to see her first grandchild. We still didn't get along very well until my DD was about 2 years old, because even though she loved her grandbaby she still thought I had doomed my life to that of a hamburger flipper at McDonald's. Well, here I am 10 years later, I have a triple BS degree and 12 credit hours from my MS (on hold till after this baby is born), a nice home, a great husband, and a beautiful daughter that fills my heart with joy. I made the right decision and eventually she came around to it, but only after she realized that a baby wasn't the end of the world for me. Too much of a fighter, I guess.
WHAT A JERK! Don't abort that sweet little baby because of a *** like that. That baby is a blessing an if you love each other whos to tell you that you should not be together. It takes a REAL man to be a daddy to kids that are not his. Something his dad seems to know nothing about. I'm going to be praying for you. Anita
( Stupid people get my mood swings going lol)
( Stupid people get my mood swings going lol)
JTprincess~ no he can't force an abortion but have a SERIOUS talk with your boyfriend. you need to find out if his dad is for or against violence to women because sometimes ppl (esp. with strict cultural backgrounds!) will have no problem resorting to violence to get they're way... if you catch my drift.
Just be happy your bf is standing by you on this. It's a great thing!
Just be happy your bf is standing by you on this. It's a great thing!
Oh honey, just vent away!!! And I agree with honeybear, you're both adults. Where does his father get off saying anything at all?
No one can force an abortion. Even if you were 13 years old no one could force you. I understand it is just frustrating and a stress when you just want to be happy.
*HUGS*
No one can force an abortion. Even if you were 13 years old no one could force you. I understand it is just frustrating and a stress when you just want to be happy.
*HUGS*
I think that it is totally unfair. You two are both grown adults. You two can make your choices for yourselves. All i would do is let the father be as mad as he can be and eventually he will get over it. My mother was the same way, actually my whole family wanted me to abort the baby, and it has been almost 4 months since i saw my parents. And finally my mother has turned around and wants to see me. So i would let the father say what he wants, and if you're boyfriend really loves you he is not going to let anything that his father say ruin what the two of you have. And i can tell that he loves you. Just know in your heart that you are doing the right thing, because you are. Hope i made sense....
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