best friend ignoring me cuz I'm pregnant

[30something13]

Ok well I met my best friend when we got tubal reversals together back in April. We hit it off and clicked and it was like we always read each others mind. We live on opposite parts of the US but talked everyday about everything. Well I am now 24 weeks pregnant and she was not ovulating and has thyriod problems and then found out her FSH is very high. I do not know what it is as she did not tell me the numbers I think becasue she does not want to except she will not be able to have another baby. She is 36 and I am 31. Well since I got pregnant she has talked to me less and less, now only responding to when I call or email her. I would tell why but did not know how to handle it. WEll today she told me she is basically jealous and she gets more upset the further I get and seeing my pictures and hearing about the baby even though she is happy for me. I have yet to resond to her and feel mad and sad all at once! I moved away from my family and friends when I got remarried and have no new friends still after 5 years here. It is differnet in culture totally and the mountains have a life of their own to say the least.

Well she is depressed. All I want is to talk about my baby I love so much and am so excited for and to hear happy things in her life! Having this baby and doing good this pregnancy is a miricle after 4 pre term borths and loosing my last daughter shortly after birth. What do I say to her? How in the heck do you respond to something like that without hurting the relationship or her feelings? I know mine are hurt but hey my hormones are raging and I could still not hurt her. I am at a loss of what to do and dread writing back to her. I am a fixer but can't fix this for her. I just want happy times and thoughts and positive energy right now. What to do?????

[Melka76]

I am going through something similar.. my best friend and I only hit if off once I was divorced and out to have fun - trips to Vegas and Miami... she is in a relationship but he is always working - they have been living together for 12 years and are not married.. I met my new hubby and married him 8 weeks later - which fueled the fire with her.. She turned 42 and we met for lunch and she told me she decided she did not want to have a baby ... a few months later I told her I was pregnant - and have not heard one word from her.. I am 33.  I have accepted the fact that she does not want to be around me because right now .. in the last year I have done all the things she really wants to do and it is upsetting for her.  I have given her space.. and hope that once my little one is born she will come back around... at least for the girls only trips I want to take.. If you need someone to talk to - message me... I am alone too! I lost all my friends in my divorce and I feel like I moved to another part of the world... best of luck!

[enshie]

hey hun i can see both sides to an extent, i can understand her being jealous and hurt cus having a baby is the most amazing experiance and it saddens me that some ppl put there can not have babies, but by the sounds of it you have been though alot with the loss of your baby which is the worst paon anyone can suffer for that reason and more it is disgraceful her behaviour towards you, even though its hard she should stick by you, you are having a baby ofcourse you are gonna wanna talk about it i can only advise that if you make things up and she starts looking at your preagnancy at a more positive angle that you just be abit discreet about mentioning baby if you know what i mean or try and look at it as if it was the other way round hope you get things sorted best of luck x

[30something13]

You guys ar right! I did write her back just a bit ago. First I talked to her about her and the other things she had wrote. Then I tolad her I thought she felt that way but id dnot know how to approch it and " I will not lie it hurt that shared that with me" I told her I am sorry she ahs not been ablt to get pregnant and that her health is bad and makes it ahrder to see a baby in sight. I asked her what she wants and did she want me to not talk about everything, also that I knew she cared about Henry and me. BUt I am kinda living it to her to answer and face it now rather then later I guess. I told her I dod nto wnat to loose our friendship, but I am just so excited about this baby! My sisiter has never gotten to have a baby and got pregnant one month before me and MC. She has watched her three younger sisters have 11 children, 2 step and one on the way over the years. I see how hard it is on her but she is happy for me and loves this baby as she does all of them! Yes her first reaction is to give her time at first but she calls me all the time to ask how we are. (she did adopt a little baby from Russia but the pregnancy part hurts her) any way she does not act like my firned does at all. I guess I will find out when I get her responce how close we really are! Thanks for the support! It just makes me want to crry about the whole thing and I just do not need that right now at this happy time!

really confused~ I hope you get your BFP soon and I am sending sticky baby dust your way:-)

faye83~ I am thinking that the same will happen between us as did with your friend

[faye83]

Something like that happened to me too. Me and my "friend" got really close cause we both were thinking about having babies and she had been TTC-ing for a long time now (shes older than me) and when I started TTC-ing I got pregnant in like a month and she got jealous and stuff. She even told me she did and that was at least nice of her. She tried to kept being nice but didn't work. She just stopped talking to me and I havent heard from her again.
Unfortunately people get jealous when they should be happy for you, I guess its human nature.

[reallycounfused]

i am sorry u are going through this... i know how hard it can be to have someone get something you want... so i dont blame her for feeling jelaous but i think her ignoring u is just a lil immature... I am 21 and have been ttc for a year now and just got my u/s nothing showed up and im waiting for my quant test results... i am devastated just thinking i may not get hte results i want... i am married have a stable job my husband has a stable job as well and we are more than ready for a baby.... but it hasnt happened... my best friend is currently pregnant with her 2nd baby and i am thrilled for her!! i love her baby girl and have loved hte baby boy on the way since ifound out, i have maybe 10 friends my age that are pregnant or have kids and thats just off of my head i bet there's more... and i can promise you more than half of them didnt want babies yet.... in a more personal situation my sister was those kind of girls who said "im never having kids" and ended up pregnant in her first relationship... but not because of everyone around me is popping out babies am i going to get mad at them or get away from them.... au contraire i try to get closer to them and enjoy their pregnancy with them as much as i can until i get my chance... she is 36 years old and is acting like a 15 yr old.... i think u should tell her that you are sorry she feels that way but that there is nothin u can do... that u consider her ur best friend and that u expect for ur best friend to be there for u through this great experience especially after what u have been trhrough!! feeling jelaous is not goingto make her more fertile or ovulate faster... the more she stresses about that kind of stuff the harder its going to get for her to ovulate and get her BFP.... good luck!!