should i take offense to this?

[ammanda]

So I am a bartender, at my bar everyone knows everyone and its always the same regulars.  so most of the time I get some people that give me like 20 dollar tips and tell me to buy something for my baby. Should I take offense, like sometimes i feel like they think i cant take care of my baby.  like last night this guy that owns his own contracting business in our town came in, he always comes in and buys everyone drinks and food.  well last night he gave me like 300 dollars to sit on the back of the bar, and buy whatever everyone in the bar wanted with it, until it was gone. then he gave me a 160 dollar tip, told me i did a great job and that i deserve it and to use it for my son. idk.. are they just being nice and considerate or is it rude?

[LauraB78]

I grew up the restaurant business, and you shouldn't be offended.. I LOVED getting huge tips! You would be crazy to be offended. Just smile and graciously say "thanks!" In terms of the restaurtant shutting down, I would start looking for something else. In my experience, new owner usually means new staff OR she will keep current staff and it will turn out to be a nightmare because now it's HER restaurant, her dream, her vision.. She will likely not want to hear a word about.. "we used to/usually do... __________(whatever)..  Restaurant owners are crazy! ;)  Best of luck,but if she is willing to keep new staff, treat it as a new job for your own sanity, because it basically will be! =D

[vacuumprincess]

just read the part about you loosing your job.  possibly for just 4-6 wks... but still.  Most people cant make it one week without a job.

Would you qualify for unemployment?  Do you know the date it will be shut down?  If so, I think you can pre-file for unemployment benefits.  Try you nearest family service center.  They may be able to help with your bills & stuff.  

it is NOT charity.  YOU have paid taxes out of your own money for all this, so essentially, you just kinda pre-paid for assistance  ;).  Sometimes we all need a little help.  I would definately check into it all.  You are entitled.  (they can also put your son on a Santa list) Good luck.

ps.  It is only a "handout" or "charity" if you only intend to milk the system & not try to work again.  You do not seem like that type.  You seem like someone who wants to earn your own $$  (obviously, by this thread post).

[SunWorshiper_26]

I wouldn't know how to take it either. I get what you are saying it could be offensive but could be nice. But either way it's nice to have the tips :)

[vacuumprincess]

I understand when you take pride in providing for your son by yourself, but I say ENJOY THE TIPS!!!  Obviously, people just like & care about you.  They also obviously think you work hard & deserve a little extra (or they think u are cute & showing off)!!

I have been a tipped employee for most of my life.  It comes & goes no matter if they say it's for your kid or just for you.  People like to "show off" and throw their money around, especially when they drink.  I know that sometimes it is offensive...  I don't honestly think most of your tippers are thinking that.  They like you.  Take pride in that & the fact they think you do a good job.  It's not pitty.

Have a great night on your next shift.

[Heatherm4]

I think it's nice. And he probably added the fact to buy something for your baby so he had an even better reason for giving it to you and that you'd take it.

[julianovak]

Im sorry hun.... My hubby thought he was going to lose his job too, bc business went down SO BAD. But the other day came home and told me hes getting a good raise, and hes actually going to be in charge of that business bc owner actually has a few other businesses...... So things can always turn around. =) keep your chin up sweetie.

[ammanda]

You guys are right i guess my mind over reacted.  Like this bar is in a small small town so its the same people everyday, and i know them all so i should just be like whatever.  but it just *****, october 30 we have a huge band party, and its my last  niight of work.  my boss sold his bar, and the woman he sold it to, hasnt said a word about if shes keeping us, which is bull, we shouldnt be left in the dark, but either way the place will be shut down for 4-6 weeks for remodling.  and i dont know what im gonna do then, since i just bought a new car, and itsmy first christmas with an actually family now.  nothing ever works out for me, im just so stressed...

[Cassandrajane]

I think its nice!! I want a tip like that LOL.

:)


xxx

[frank_noahsmommy]

I don't think it is rude at all. Like everyone else is saying they know you, and know you got a lil' guy. You must be really good at your job!!! I am sure before you had Cole the same people tipped you. =-)

[julianovak]

I think its not rude at all. You must be a great bar tender. Spend it lol. Not everyone is THAT nice. Honestly. =)

[smjmekg]

Ya know what I think, I think they'd do the EXACT same thing and just say buy something nice for you if they didn't know you had a baby. They know you have Cole, so they say buy him something...if they didn't know they'd tell you to do it for you. You're doing a good job and they see that so they are giving you what they think you should get. Be HAPPY!!!

I was a waitress for a total of around 5 years between different restaurants and believe me when I say don't complain. One I was working at I'd be lucky to come home with $50 once in a while because NO ONE tipped for sh!t, AND I wouldn't act like a complete sleaze, there was one girl who brought home at least $100 a day (working 5-6 hour shifts) but she was all about boobs in guys' faces.

[ammanda]

Yea i get compliments all the time, and customers are always telling my boss that im there favorite bartender.  but I always say thank you, like a million times lol.. then i feel bad. i mean its always just single men with no kids that give me money.  

[Aliciaw]

I think they are being nice. I don't think when they do it that they have the thought of being rude in their mind, I wouldnt take offense to it. They see that you are out working and supporting your son and want to give you a little extra money to help with. I wouldn't feel like they don't think you can take care of him I think they just want to help out a little more.

[degriffdog]

I would say they are being nice to you.  I'm a manager and customers will come in randomly and gives me gifts for my children.  You obviously do a great job at what you do or you wouldn't get good tips.  Just say Thank you, I will :)