Aa
i dont know what to do....
Ok so me and my babys dad arent together, ive been seeing this guy who treats me right and we haven't had a fight once. He knows how to calm me down. The babys dad hasnt been involved with the pregnancy maybe once in a blue moon. But hes fine with not being in the delievery room but told me if i let my bf in the room that he can take over all fatherly duties. I dont know what to do bc i dont want to upset anyone, but im the one whos pushing this baby out of me and the two people i really want in the room with me that i know for sure arent going to upset me is my mom who is my coach and my bf. Bc when my bf visits me and im in pain he tells me to breathe and relax, and has this way of making me smile and keeping calm. Do you guys think i should let my bf in the room or let baby daddy have his way and tell me who i can have in the room? Im 34w tomorrow idk what to do
All in all, do what works for you. Like I said, everyones situation is different.
Thanks for yoir opinon you dont need to hear about me bc i have already expressed whats been going on.
I respect your opinion and agree for the men who have stepped up to be respectful enough or mature enough to handle being around whether you are together or not, but situations are different for everyone. Some men aren't honorable men and show it at times that would be crucial. Just because you helped make the baby doesn't make you a Daddy or in some cases a Mommy. If someone decides that just because the other person has "moved on" and has a significant other that your parental duties are relinquished and can't separate responsibilities over ego then there is truly something wrong. Especially when it has been made clear that you want the actual parent in your childs life and have been given then the opportunity. If the person is more of a burden after the relationship is over and can't be civil or logic about the situation then I personally believe in doing whatever is beneficial for you and your child. It's unfortunate that people have made dumb decisions to be casted off to a certain extent, but nobody should keep bending for someone who cant be reasoned with. Im sure every woman who is either single or with someone else who is not the actual father would have loved nothing more than for things to have worked out, but S*** happens and we don't live in a perfect world, situations change and some have to do things that may not please everyone but it is logical for what they are dealing with. People make mistakes and sometimes those mistakes cost more than one realizes until its too late. I personally would have loved for me and my ex to have worked, but in reality with things that happened, there was no way with the chain of events that I was going to stick around and because of his actions since then have pushed me to not want him in the delivery room when I give birth to the baby. But, that was all just my opinion.
i agree - if it were me i would WANT my baby daddy to be in the room because i know how special that moment is, so at the end of the day id still be doing what i want lol
While thank you for your opinon ive thought about it from both points of view and i havent made a choice yet. Your right about that, but when it comes down to it youll have who you want in the room with you
i disagree w/ the majority of the posters above, sorry. the moment your baby is delivered will be hands down the best moment of your entire life. it will also be for the baby daddy. i think it's wrong to deny that moment to the baby's father. people say its all about mom & baby, but i absolutely disagree. the baby's dad is just as important. that baby was made by you AND him. just because we carry the baby 9 months doesn't make it anymore ours.
regardless of how involved he's been, he is still the father. if your current bf can't understand that, you should question whether he's ready to "share" father duties (not saying he can't, just making a point).
if i were you, i would ask them to make an exception to the 2 people rule (i did and i got to have FOUR people in my L&D room. if they won't make the exception, then im going to have to vote for baby daddy & your mom (also a blood relative)...no offense, but you're not married to your BF, and if yall broke up i think you would regret having him in the room.
my answer's probably not going to be popular, but just my opinion.
regardless of how involved he's been, he is still the father. if your current bf can't understand that, you should question whether he's ready to "share" father duties (not saying he can't, just making a point).
if i were you, i would ask them to make an exception to the 2 people rule (i did and i got to have FOUR people in my L&D room. if they won't make the exception, then im going to have to vote for baby daddy & your mom (also a blood relative)...no offense, but you're not married to your BF, and if yall broke up i think you would regret having him in the room.
my answer's probably not going to be popular, but just my opinion.
Yeah i feel like im more at ease with my boyfriend thats why i want him in the room. Just nice to know that people are in the same sitution as me. Just sicking to know beat dads want to control the delievery but yet there never around. And than we have these men who take more responsibility for a baby that isnt theres. I mean me and my bf have been together two months and the baby knows his voice and moves for him. But when baby daddy comes around,my son stops moving.
Yeah i feel like im more at ease with my boyfriend thats why i want him in the room. Just nice to know that people are in the same sitution as me. Just sicking to know beat dads want to control the delievery but yet there never around. And than we have these men who take more responsibility for a baby that isnt theres. I mean me and my bf have been together two months and the baby knows his voice and moves for him. But when baby daddy comes around,my son stops moving.
I'm in the same situation. The father is really not involved at all and has not helped me a bit during this pregnancy. My boyfriend has been apart of this pregnancy this whole time. So I've chose my boyfriend to be there because he has literally done more and beyond what the dead beat dad has done. And its my special moment and I want the person who loves and truley cares and shows it right by my side. I'm just not giving thr father the chance to be there cause he's been nowhere to be found all this time. And does not deserve to be there.. do what is really right and be true to yourself. And who really matters and who's been there. And what's best for you and the baby.
Yeah we have been together two months and does more for my son than the actual father. He rubs my belly kisses it and and talks to him. He also has his own daughter that is 18months old. Havent meet her yet. But the BD expressed his feelings bout this to me and i dont really care i just a stress free labor/delievery with people in the room. Bc i know the labor/delievery part is going to be hard and emotional so im just scared of making the wrong choice im a first time mommy so i dont know how to go about this
it's ur choice and if ur baby daddy wants to act like that then thats his problem not yours it sounds like the other guy would be a better father figure anyway
LoL...no rant just sharing my somewhat similar situation. All boiling down to doing whatever we are most comfortable with.
Do what you feel is best for you and your baby. He's not very active with your pregnancy so why should he be ablke to make important decisions like that. He can't pick and choose when he wants to act like a father. We as women can't
Gordon has her own rant going up there lol. But I know a few women who have been in situations like yalls and they have wonderful bfs/husbands who treat there children like their own and those kids have not missed or asked about their biological father once.
I personally am not going to have my sons father in the room. He has no idea how to be civil and I refused to be stressed out anymore than I already will be giving birth. He has been disrespectful enough to make me not want him there. I will make sure he is notified when I go into labor, and if he makes it to see his son then so be it. My mother and my best friend will be there with me. I too am seeing someone who wants to be there for me and my son, but Im not having him in the room either, not because he has done anything wrong, its just my preference. I will obviously allow my sons father to come into the room after baby is born to spend his time (I don't think I want my baby to go to the nursery) with him, but the first sign of him being an irrational fool, he has got to go. My ex has said the same thing "oh if your with someone then he can take care of the baby" That's childish and foolish. BUT he did the exact same with his daughter (which I later found out about). His ex got married and after that he had little to no interaction with his daughter and doesn't do a d a m n thing for her except for birthdays and Christmas. You do whatever your comfortable with dear...
Baby daddy doesn't wanna be involved through the pregnancy so he shouldn't be allowed to control your decisions. How will he know your bf was in the room anyways? I say let your bf in and screw BD! If he doesn't wanna be in that child's life then thats his own loss
If the baby daddy is really going to give up his parental rights because your bf is in the room then he was garbage and not worth the stress of worrying about upsetting him. If your bf wants to take responsibility for your child let him. Obviously he cares about that baby more than the real father does anyways.
I would have whoever makes u the most comfortable. And if that's your boyfriend let him be in the Room with you. Plus if your babies dad isn't in the picture but once in a blue moon it probably wouldn't be different when the baby comes. Just do what you think is right
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