dont know what to do, 20 years old at university, muslim family

[dontknowwhattodo2008]

i dont know what to do, im not looking for any answers, i know ultimately that its something me and the potential daddy need to decide, but im so anxious and worried. i spoke to my mum today, and my sister, and the fella, all are under the impression that continuing with the pregnancy would be a silly idea... but it's there now and it's apparently the size of a poppy seed, heart beat and everything. any advice?

[dontknowwhattodo2008]

thanks again ladies..

after i thought things couldnt get any worse...walked into the doctors surgery today and instead of being asked how i felt about the pregnancy, i was asked...." have you started taking folic acid yet? we try to get all mummys-to-be on folic acid asap"....nothing could have prepared me for that... broke my little heart.

sending me for an early scan to see how far gone i am, eventually the doctor (must have been 4 years older than me), checked my belly incase it was an ectopic pregnancy, coz id been taking the pill throughout the month that i concieved.

had a blood test, to confirm there is BHCG in my blood, and that there isn't any signs of anaemia.

got home and went straight to bed, mum came in and started asking if my "Little problem was sorted", treat it like "a gyny problem hun, were they just need to give your period a kick start", gob smacked!

havent been able to eat or drink, even more importantly SMOKE!! thats how i know somethings different, im a 15 a day smoker...!!

iv been told to "go out and get drunk tonight, it'll make you feel soooooo much better", by a friend...

i agree with what was said about gaining a grandchild or losing her daughter, i suppose its gonner hit her hard, because its ME she speaks to for support through her IVF, ME who she speaks to when her IVF doesnt work... but how am i going to find the strength to be happy for her, or cry with her when it does or doesn't work?

i dont want to solve "my little problem", i want to keep "my little problem".

anyway iv got another week to decide, so fingers crossed, hopefully ill find the strength in the next 7 days (in between two 3000 word assignments) to do what i know is right...

thanks for the support ladies...

xxx

[dontknowwhattodo2008]

ohh and btw lancashire is north west england xx

[ashiepooh]

Oh  my, do not go out and drink!!!  

Gosh, I am sorry your mother is being like this.  

"i dont want to solve "my little problem", i want to keep "my little problem"."
I think right there you have your answer!  If you truly want to keep your baby, i'd go about looking into those finacial aid and medical options now!  The Folic acid helps the baby, with preventing defects.  You said that the dad said he would support your choice, but doesn't 100% want it?  Well, I know a lot of guys who are freaked out about everything when they hear their girlfriend is pregnant.  They will overcome this feeling, when they hear a heartbeat, and or see the baby on the ultrasound!  

Maybe tell your mom, if she expects you to support her with IVF then she NEEDS to support your decision!  

Keep us posted!  And try not to stress to much!!!  =)

[dontknowwhattodo2008]

hes not really interested in listening to any of that, he told me he wont be looking up what our child is looking like at 5/6 weeks old, coz itd torment him, i asked him how his parents would react and he said he didnt no, suppose its better than mine!!

he said to me that he'd always support me 100% even though he knows how i feel about it...

i.e. please god dont have the baby...

i like the advice, stressing too much makes things a lot more complicated...

xxxx

[ashiepooh]

=)  Awww, well hang in there!!  Atleast he will support your decision though!  Which is a big step in any direction!  

His parents probably would take it better.  

Maybe just relax, do your homework, and then just ponder it.  Maybe go for a walk and clear your head some!  

[JoyRenee]

Folic acid is important during pregnancy, as are prenatal vitamins. Many women miss their prenatals or forget to take them every now and again and it is not a major problem. So don't worry about that. Just go get some at the pharmacy and take one a day! And definitely make sure you eat and drink plenty of water. I know you're feeling really low and depressed right now.

I have a suggestion and it is NOT ideal but you want to keep your baby so I'm going to offer this to you. There are Maternity Homes for pregnant women. You live there for free and finish school while you are pregnant. Some girls go there with the intention of adopting their baby out or because they want to learn skills to keep their baby. They also teach you how to dress and bathe baby and how to feed baby, too!

We have these in the US. Not sure about England but definitely worth trying to find. Look in the phonebook under ABORTION-ALTERNATIVE for a pregnancy center in England. Birthright is a worldwide organization that will help you get the information you need. You can check out their website at birthright.org to see if there is one near you.

I'm not giving up on you, girl! You want your baby and I'm going to try to help as much as I can to make sure that happens.