drugs

[mirandavazquez11]

When i first met my fiance he was on serious heavy drugs. Needles(opiates) to be exact. Tbh i really didnt understand the seriousness of it i thought when he said he would quit it was no biggie and he would do just that. But obviously it was not even remotly simple after relapses and problems and hectiness we finally got him sober. And now he will do really good for about 6-8 months and relapse really bad then do good again for 6-8 months and relaps and the cycle reapeats. Every time its horrible he has his life together a job and he put s everything in jerpordy. Last relaps was in march and i left him. After long months of proving himself we started to get together again in about june. Then i foind out i was pregnant. Now its the end of november and what do you know hes relapsed again. What do i do he no longer has a car because of it and i make hardly any money since i had to stop working when I was having pregnacy problems. If i leave him i will have no money for my rent or this baby. I never planned on stopping work. He was doing so good and moving up in his job and hes finally assistant manager. But the thought of trying to make it work and the thought of leaving him so me and baby are alone is just horrible. Any positive advice. The big problem with making it work is he feels like he doesnt want to be "babysat" but ovbiously things will be like that at first.

[kward2]

I have been in a similar situation to what you're in. Its a really long story but I know what you're going through. Trying to quit on his own may not be enough, not that he doesn't want to, but addiction is a serious disease. My boyfriend swore he was going to quit for years and there would be months where he could hide things from me and make me think he was sober, but he wasn't. It's easy for people to say to leave him, but it may not be that easy for you to do. The only advice I ever got from anyone was to leave, but I couldn't. If you think thats what you need to do and what best for your chold then do it, becuase a home with drugs is not a place for a child. And you can still have a relationship while he works through things and be supportive without living with him. For me, I couldn't just walk away and watch the man I love destroy his life. He may need to spend time at a live in rehab or a halfway house.  No one can make him get clean but if he really wants it he should be open to getting outside help. You could try to find some N.A. meetings in your area or other counseling places, that may be a good way to start.

[proudmommytobe15]

My dad is a method addict and cook. He does everything in between. I've been begging him to change and my whole life I've just gotten lies. He's constantly in and out of prison

[Milenko6606]

@My2LoveBugs She posted for advice, not your rude comments. Did you ever conside that maybe she didn't want to just give up on him? Or that she's financially unstable without him? Maybe you should take in all the possibilities before you say rude snobby things to people.

[cassell1022]

My husband struggled with heroin/opiate addiction also for our whole marriage and way before hes struggled, but when we found out i was pregnant after he got done freaking out for a couple days, he woke up and realized he needed stop. He really wanted to get sober so he did. Hes been clean for six months now and its been really hard but we get through it. The best advice i could give you is be strong. But the truth is if he really wants to quit he will.

[Sass508]

Did he go to a suboxone program?? It really helped me but he definately needs to go through a different program.

You don't need the stress! He needs to get the right kind of help first.

Honestly it's best to "let him go" and work on himself.

You don't want the stress of having your baby's dad being a drug addict. I've been through it and it's awful

[My2LoveBugs]

You see that things aren't going to work . I honestly don't know why you made this post if you won't take anything that anyone here has mentioned into consideration.

[mirandavazquez11]

No i donT have help I could get and im in a lease so i cant downgrade my living situation for a while. I just worry that even gov help wont be enough. I want my kid to have everything. And even if things between me and my fiance dont work i just want to be able to say I really tried and didnt just give up. ):

[jadasmommy93]

Yes everyone is complety right, he needs to get his self together when the baby is born rather you're doing drugs or not they will dfcs will make you leave him or take your baby. Do you have any family that could help until you are able to work? I know you want the whole big happy family but if he is not healthy then you and baby need to go.

[audzilla5]

I've lost many ppl to opiates unfortunately the addiction never really goes away my old beat friend goes through the same cycle Shea good then hits rock bottom again. I always wanted to believe shed do better but in the end she'd always go back. there are many churches and charities that will help you pay your rent till you apply for government assistance.  local pregnancy centers have lists and sometimes their own groups that help

[joanie8858]

He needs to get FULL treatment. Detox, and then definitely a rehab and then a half way house. Then go from there, I have had plenty of friends and family and even i was on drugs for years and would have that cycle of relapse, and Ive been drug free for two years !!! I can never see myself EVER going back and that was because I actually had help to fully "recover" with counsalers ect. Goodluck hun :-)

[My2LoveBugs]

Now it sounds like he has your mind exactly where he wants it , he knows you're not going anywhere because he has the income . I would not put my child through this , you're a mother & there is plenty of assistance for single mothers! Get out now!!! He's not going to change . What if one day he decides to spend up all the rent money?? What will you as a mother do then? You should think ahead & leave this drug addict because it'll only get worse . Which we know you won't leave because you've done it before & you went back to him .

[honeybee103112]

Leave him. There's assistance you can get as.a.single mom. no baby deserves to have that in their lives. They need stability and he definitely won't be providing that. And to be honest.alot of needle users never get and stay sober. So get out now while the baby isn't born yet.  Your a.mom so time.to.get the bad things out of.your babies life .while you can.