lying boyfriend

[Hyena5]

So I caught my bf talkin to one of his x's and I am so hormonal I really lost it last night...............I flipped out on him :( screaming at him, swinging on him, tryin to take all my stuff an leave him. now I'm scared all this stress is gonna take a toll on my pregnancy. How do I calm down...I'm only about 7-8 weeks along......I'm VERY HURT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and I just want to not stress and chill out so this doesnt affect my pregnancy if it hasn't already

[irrelevance]

I read most of the responses here, but not all of them.. well, all of yours... This sounds SOO much like what i went through at the beginning of my pregnancy.. Guys can just be SUCH idiots.. :/ Good luck though girl.

[jesslee83]

hey i'm getting this also, but not from BF!!! i have an "acquantance" myspacing my fiance and telling him all kinds of crazy stuff! like i married some guy some time in the last month(the guy i "married" allegedly is military, and so is this girl's exe(S))).....and apparently there's all kinds of other stuff i won't put in here but ya she says i got married and i don't thinnk this is my fiance's baby and that i *have something*.....believe me just say a big *F* word to everyone cos in my thinking its my baby that comes first, not anyone else, but ya i see where you're mad......

[Hales20]

Maybe juz pretend ur on the phone (mobile) talking to one of ur ex's......

But dont make it too obvious that your on the 'phone' to your ex, like when your phone 'rings' or you go to make a 'call', get up & walk outside, keep am eye on your current partner, and talk louder, laugh, pretend to flirt, maybe even ask questions about what 'he' (ex) would do if he were expecting a baby, act like you would enjoy your ex's company.

Make sure your current partner hears your conversation, but dont overdo it.

That way, when you are done with the 'phonecall', he will no doubt ask you who it was, you say 'nevermind, its my business' and go into your room & 'text'.

LOL trust me - it will work :-)

You just gotta play his games - but make sure everytime you delete your call history on your phone-no doubt he will check your phone when you are not looking but he will find it deleted & it will annoy him more as he will think your trying to hide something - hehe!

I know you dont wanna play games, but if its the only thing that will make him realise, its gotta be done!

[mami1323]

I hear ya, I'm not one for game playing either but if he is not respecting your feelings then the only other option would be to take a break from eachother to let him know how serious you are.  Wish I could be of more help.

[Hyena5]

I hate to play games. I really don't talk to any of my ex's and just don't even feel like I could do something like that and lower myself to his level just to prove a point. It would just make me feel like a bad person. That really is a good answer. I probably should try it. I just don't feel comfortable doing it.........any other suggestions??

[mami1323]

Oh yeah, he's crossing the line there.  He's belittling you in front of her.  Wow, that's not right.  There is a difference between being cordial because you have a child together and being overly friendly.  So you know what call your ex and talk friendly.  Let's see what he will think.  When he starts to get upset, say the same thing...stop being so jealous.  I'm only friendly with him, sorry if you can't handle it.  You are such a child.  I guarantee you he will rethink his friendships.

[Hyena5]

If we were not bringing a child into this world I would seriously probably not be with him anymore. I just keep thinking of our unborn child and how us being seperated is going to be HARD on the baby and on all of us. And I can't stop thinking about my 3 yr old daughter who he is the father she knows...........I don't want to take that from her or this baby. But how the heck am I supposed to tolerate all this??????????

[Hyena5]

It is really annoying as h**l! When he does he will talk to her for 30 minutes to an hour sometimes. Just laughing away. I'm really annoyed by it but he says. I'm sorry you and your other baby's father can't get along but that's not my problem. I can't help it if me and mine are friends and can get along. There is nothing wrong with that you are just JEALOUS and being childish. I am not JEALOUS for one. I just think its unneccesary and RUDE. No one wants to sit there while the person they are with is flirting on the phone with someone they have had sexual relations with before!!!!!!!!!!! He can say its not flirting but it is. ON top of that he TOLD HER oh sorry I have to get off the phone I can't talk to you anymore cuz she gets mad and she is jealous. NOW THAT'S CHILDISH!

[mami1323]

Oh yeah, that would **** me off.  I don't think I would tolerate that at all either.  These women have nerves.  I would never do something like that, even if I was friends with an ex.  I think I would be just as upset as you if my fiance was talking to all his ex's.  He talks to his son's mom in a friendly way but they've been broken up since they were 16 and I'm friend's with her also.  If I didn't like them talking I would say something and I'm sure he would do whatever I asked because I'm the one he's with.  Maybe you should call one of your ex's in front of your bf and laugh and joke just to see what his reaction would be.  I know childish but sometimes a dose of their own medicine is all it takes.

[Hyena5]

I probably seem highly upset about all of this which I am.........but don't get me wrong my blood pressure hasn't skyrocketed and I'm not crying hystarically over here or anything. I'm not crying or anythign at this point actually. I just want to settle this and put it behind me...........and I GREATLY appreciate everyones advice on this IT IS REALLY HELPING SO THANKS ALOT :)

[Hyena5]

Thanks, I'll try..........when I told him that how would you feel if it was the other way around he's like I wouldn't care its healthy to get along with people...AND IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU DON'T GET ALONG WITH YOUR X'S I'm like whose to say I don't I just feel its disrespectful towards you so I don't call them and chit chat!!!!!!!

OH AND GET THIS............His BABY'S MOTHER-X-WIFE WHATEVER........She has a new baby a few weeks old from her new b-friend well last night she calls him about their boys they talk laughing and chatting about the kids whatever, ok fine.......then about 10 minutes later she calls back! ASKING HIM what to do about a colic baby that the baby is crying at night alot and she is stressed what can she do, can he call his mom to ask her? I'M LIKE WTF? (EXCUSE ME) IS SHE CALLING YOU FOR ABOUT THAT??????????/ Shouldn't she be calling the FATHER OF THE BABY HE ISN'T A FIRST TIME DAD OR HIS FAMILY??????????????/ Why is she calling you and your family about her kid from someone else???????? Is it just me honestly or does that not seem a lil strange!???

[wild.blue]

Tell him that and sit down with him until you resolve it. Be calm though. And sit and talk it over until you come to a conclusion you're happy with. Tell him if he doesnt resolve this, it will only get bigger and cause more problems. So tonight make sure you guys talk about it. If he cares about you, he wont  want you to be upset and will work with you to solve things.

You shouldn't be stressed out like this, it's really hard on the baby and your body. I had an issue just like this w/my BF and nothing was going on but I thought it was at the time and at first he said I was CRAZY and got mad but then after he saw how distraught I was, he finally proved to me that nothing was going on and has stopped talking to her. He realized I am more important than a few conversations with his ex.

Make him choose what means more: you and the well being of his baby or a few phone conversations with her. Either he proves everything is normal or he doesn't talk to her anymore...

[mami1323]

I would talk to him and tell him that it bothers you that he needs to keep all of his ex's as friends.  They are ex's for a reason and they need to be his past and they need stay there.  How would he feel if it was the other way around and your ex's kept popping back up in the picture?  Especially after the last incident, he should be even more cautious with these chicks.  He needs to respect your feelings because you are having his child.  He has to understand that you are uncomfortable and that's not the best way to begin your family together.  See what he says after that.

[Hyena5]

OK the major part to this story is that in January and prior to that.......he was talking to ANOTHER X OF HIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This one was a dang stalker though and we had MAJOR problems about it which he WAS LYING ABOUT which is how and why I had access to his bill online,,,,,,,he did lie and he wasn't "cheating" with her physically but he had denied me to her and she was messaging me talkin crazy sh*t to me on MYSPACE making me look dumb that he denied me to her and then how when she did find out about me he talked all kinds of **** to her about ME and our business! I had to delete my myspace becuz of her and the problems all that brought us. SO now for this other girl to be calling out of no where is why I am really UPSET its like round two alll over again.........

[Hyena5]

nope he didn't he told me she did call yesterday apparently because he saw it as a missed call among other missed calls from other people. He said he was telling me to see my reaction to him being honest since he didn't feel he could be honest before which was supposedly why he didn't tell me about their prior conversationS......SO I told him when he said that OK THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME THAT IS WHAT I NEEDED WAS YOUR COMMUNICATION AND HONESTY I TOLD YOU SHE WOULD CALL BACK.............BUT, when she does call back I would like to answer and see what she has to say or I want you to answer ON SPEAKER PHONE. He goes WHAT THATS DUMB!!!!!!!!!! YOU SEE THERE YOU GO!!!!!!!!!! I said what?! I promise I am not gonna talk smack to her!!!!!!!! I just want to ask her nicely what she wants .......HONESTLY I DO FEEL LIKE TELLING HER LOOK CHICK YOU JUST HAD A BABY HOW THE HECK WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOUR MAN WAS CALLING ALL HIS X- B**&()!!!!!! WHEN YOU WERE PG???????????? YOU BETTER HOPE I DON'T FIND OUT WHO HE IS SO I CAN TELL HIM WHAT YOUR DOING!!!!!!!

Sorry had to let that out! Really my approach would not be like that unless she comes at me crazy or something.

[mami1323]

I don't think you should, at this point you should take his word for it.  You need to trust him and who knows if what she tells you is true or not.  Sometimes if we are looking for something we will find it.  I'm not saying that if he's cheating on you, you should stay but maybe it's best to leave well enough alone.  You need to stay calm and just take care of you and your baby right now.

[luvmy2girls]

I would definitely call her.  You should know by her first reaction to your call what the truth is.   If he has nothing to hide then no worries right?  Sorry you have to deal with this.  My fiance still talks to an ex that he says was more a friend than a girlfriend....I just trust him until more than phonecalls make me suspicious.   Good luck  I hope he is innocent.

[wild.blue]

If it is still an issue, I guess I would. Just be nice and respectful and tell her your pregnant and it's bothering you. I'm sure she'll be willing to talk about it.

Did he ever call her in front of you?

[Hyena5]

Does anyone think I should call this chick and get her side of the story????????? I am having a hard hard time dealing with this. I want to know what the truth is. Not to say she will tell me the truth. BUT if it was innocent like he says then she should confirm that right????????????

[miko_latte]

I know exactly how you feel...i just found out my baby's dad was cheating on me the whole time with an underage girl...I'm already 8  months pregnant. I want to beat this gurls *** so bad, but...ugh! so i know where you're coming from.

[wild.blue]

lol thanks!

I had the same issues a little while ago.. after I asked him to talk in front of me, they stopped talking all together. So something was going on and it stopped. (she lives in a different state, so I know he didnt cheat.. just flirted or whatever)

I wonder if men ever fee anything like the crazy hormonal rage that runs through us women at times!

[Hyena5]

GOOD POINT

[wild.blue]

tell him if he wants to talk to his ex girlfriends, put the phone on speakerphone and talk in front of you. If there's nothing weird going on, there should be no problem. If he gets defensive and refuses too, then thats not right..

[Hyena5]

Well honestly now that I have calmed down a bit. I feel like I shouldn't be dumb here. I have no money to leave I have one daughter who the sperm donor father doesn't pay child support on (different father)..........this baby's father I know will be there and pay but if I leave him I really won't have any money. I can't live off my sister for free forever. Myself and my daughter and my baby on the way............I feel like I should just stick it out get rid of my car use one of his, if I do this I can save about 5k before the baby is born then once the baby is born if things haven't changed LEAVE HIS BUTT!!!!!!!! I know this is probably wrong but hey he is the father of this baby and if I am carrying this baby he should support us right????????????? I'm just worried getting rid of "my car" is going to put me worse off if I can't stick it out throughout this pregnancy. I will seriously have to control my feelings.......which right now really feels impossible!