It took until I was 27 weeks to actually see my baby moving.I felt him moving at 23 weeks though Lol you could actually see skin moving when baby moves.
My SO felt the heart beat and the some movement that I felt on the inside. Just let him rest his hand a little for me on your belly. And my little bean is has been a mover and a shaker since 10 weeks but it also my 3rd so I know what to look for also far movement.
Firmer* not for me...sorry.
I started feeling mine are 20 weeks and he can see her clearly now at 25 weeks. She's so strong, my belly takes on a whole new shape when she moves. I'm a size 16/18.