i need advice or just some to talk to..

[jcruz25]

I am currently pregnant I'm 19 weeks . I have a 2 year old . He means so much to me . His dad is pretty much not in the picture . He sees him about 1 every other month . My son Jay hides from him when he sees him . I attend school & work . Its been hard . My boyfriend is great support . He works & loves my son as his own . Well my problem is that no one really knows I'm pregnant. I don't have friend's just 2 or 3 from school . They know but I'm SO scared to tell my patents ! I'm more scattered to tell them now since I'm almost half way through my pregnancy ! I just can't seem to be able to tell them. I feel so guilty that I am having an other baby. Since my son is just 2 . I think about having this baby & get excited but then I get depressed thinking about my son . Has anyone else felt this way ? Or am I over thinking it . I dont really think about the baby because I get sad :(

[jcruz25]

Thank you ladies :)

[Shirano]

The whole attention thing will be different but he will love being a big brother. My sister had my second nerve when the eldest was two. My sister was worried about her not having the undivided attention of my sister and her husband but she loves being and older sister. She takes ownership of her sister she is her baby. She plays with her and from birth loved on her. It's adorable. Now she is excited about having a cousin and always asks to feel her move, she is almost three now. A second baby will just enrich your sons life, he will have a sibling which is so much fun. It's a positive not a negative.

[BlessedELEVEN]

Try not to feel that way. Your little man will be a great big brother and you'll be an outstanding mommy of two. Just how you love him, you'll equally love the new baby boy or girl! It may feel like that now, but as the years pass you'll be thankful that you had your kids back to back and that they had each other growing up! I unfortunately waited six years to have another baby.. Long story short: I delivered my baby girl al 23 weeks and lived in a hospital with her for 9 long months due to many prematurity complications. 8 major surgeries and 3 months on life support. It was a very hard time for my husband and I. Our baby survived but came home and as she grew older it just got harder. Due to being so premature she has several disabilities/diagnoses. Accepting it all was very hard for me and I went through a denial phase. I entered depression and I came to a point where I hated being a mother. I said things like " I am not meant to care for a child with special needs and I don't need this".. I was torn being that I was a first time mom.. My husband always asked for another baby and I refused to. I never wanted to be a mother again. Keep in mind that although I felt this way I was a good mother. Never gave up on my daughter. Drs said she would never walk, see, talk or be anything close to Normal.. I believe that my love and persistence got her to where she is now. She's six and she walks, runs and jumps.. She's starting to talk with therapy and good parenting. She's still severely delayed but I have hope one day she'll be close to normal.  So this past year my husband took me to Hawaii and he asked me to give ourself another opportunity and have another baby to complete our family. I finally decided to give myself that opportunity and got pregnant. I am now 16 weeks and couldn't be any happier. I am happy my daughter will be a big sister and she will now have someone like my sisters keeper for when she's older. But at the beginning I thought like you.. I thought it was selfish of me since she's still dependent of me 100% but I know god will help me and give me patience and love for both... As he will for you. Just be thankful that your baby is normal and healthy and that you're able to conceive yet again..

[AnnieBrooke]

You considered adoption and just don't want to do that but you are just not happy -- think this one over, and maybe talk to your ob-gyn.  "Adoption is not the option for me" doesn't surprise me, but Adoption is not the option but also unhappy is a worrisome combination.

[jcruz25]

Aww thank you ! Means a lot because the couple friends I have don't have kids so they don't know much . I'm just really scared to tell everyone since then I will its reality & not a dream . I see my son do different things & feel like his center of attention isn't or ever will be the same & I blame myself for it. No one has gone with me to a doctor's appointment / us or just anything . My bf is always working . At school I mention it to my nurse since I had no one else & she recommended abortion or adoption . I considered adoption & I just don't want to do that but I'm just not happy . I get excited knowing I might be able to have a little girl then get depressed . Sorry I just let everything out .

[BlessedELEVEN]

That quote "The truth would set you free" is right on point. I think you should come out and be open about this pregnancy, who knows and they may turn out to be supportive. A baby is always a blessing in anybody's life. Don't torture yourself like that. It's bound to come out, anyhow! Be happy. You deserve to be nothing but happy!

[AnnieBrooke]

When I was pregnant and my son was 2, I really worried over how it would impact him.  I was afraid it would ruin his life, he was so happy and had me and my husband all to himself and I was looking at bringing in an interloper.  I didn't have to put this to the test, due to my miscarriage then.  But I just wanted to say that this is not unusual to worry about, no matter what your life circumstances.

[NikiHans]

I went through this same thing with my first two children, I was even a nervous wreck telling them about this pregnancy even though I am older now and married and they knew I was trying for another baby. Feel free to message me if you need someone to talk to :)