tearing?

[doulamommy]

I tore really badly with my daughter (3rd degree), which my midwife says is the worst she's ever seen in fifteen years of nursing and catching babies. She was unfortunate enough to miss the birth but got to stitch me up because of the timing of when she got there.
What is everyone's experience with tearing/stitching/etc? I'd like to give mom's who've never torn (and ftms) a realistic view of it.
I'll post the rest of my experience as a comment.

[fangeorgetevin_1]

Omg yall scaring me reading these comments frfr

[doulamommy]

Ditto @mommyagain 23.
Honestly my best relief was the loratab I got after my gallbladder surgery about a week later. I was miserable but I really didn't have time to think about it. I was back and forth to the nicu every two or three hours to feed and cuddle my daughter. I wish I'd had the luxury of nursing her in bed! Instead I got to sit hunched in an uncomfortable wheelchair while I nursed her with no pillow or anything.

[mommy_again23]

That's good to hear, what worked best as relief for you? I never got a sids bath or anything, they just gave me a squirt bottle -_-

[doulamommy]

@mommyagan23
You're less likely to tear as bad as you did last time if the baby presents the same way. Your body knows better this time how to open up, so your chances go down. However if you have a difficult presentation such as face up this time, you'll probably still tear.
The good news is that if you had a difficult presentation last time and an easier one this time, you probably won't tear at all!

[sjpolo]

I was terrified of tearing with first baby but my doctor actually cut me instead..it hurt and was uncomfortable for a couple weeks then itched but healed nicely so I'm hoping they cut me again if needed rather than tearing :/

[mommy_again23]

I don't know the degree of which I tore but it was the worse part of labor and pregnancy. I didn't feel a tear but I felt getting stitched up. It hurt the next 2weeks.And I still feel it after sex, and my bd can even see still if he looks. I'm so scared to tear again! Is it more likely to tear worse or just as bad.

[doulamommy]

It's natural and normal to be scared, but birth is also a normal natural process. Side lying is one of the better positions to birth in to prevent tearing. Kneeling and squatting are good as long as you're careful to do gentle breaths after the head is out and not push hard. Lying on your back it's the worst position to birth in as far as tearing, and yet that's the go to position for most doctors.
BUT a lot also depends on the position of the baby. My little girl was op, meaning she was facing away from my spine, which not only causes back labor, but also worse tears because her forehead presented first instead of the back of her head. It's rare for babies to decide to come that way. Feel free to message me if you have any other questions or concerns about birth. I'd be happy to try to help.

[bumpinbaby1995]

Yikes, thanks a lot. Birth just seems scarier & scarier I keep learning new things !,

[doulamommy]

I just put a description of perineal massage on my profile under the journals category, in case some of you aren't familiar with it.

[doulamommy]

I didn't feel the tear when it was happening either. But I had no pain relief for labor and I think the nurses forgot that (in fact, one of them told me afterward that she thought I was an epidural mom, I guess I handled the pain well) so I'm lucky my midwife stitched me because I got a shot of local anesthetic down there.
Still uncomfortable as crap though! And don't even get me started on how the nurses  told me I had to poop before I could go home!
Lol @bumpinbaby1995. It is a bit scary but even with an unmediated birth, you've got so much going on around you at the time of birth that you really don't care in the moment. Perineal massage helps (personally I'm starting mine NOW and I'm only ten weeks) as do kegals, as far as how to prepare your tissues before labor. During labor and pushing, see if your doc/midwife will let you have your own hands down there. I've since learned that you are far less likely to tear if your hands are right there feeling yourself stretch.

[missi8]

To be honest I couldnt actually feel the tear when it happend, think my thoughts were on the contractions. But its afterworeds wich is really bad..
Bumpingbaby1995, U can use almond oil to rub in ur vaginal opning from week 35 wich will help, rub it in every day night and morning. More then that I dont know

[Netta90]

I had a 1st degree tear! It wasn't all that bad because my stitches dissolved very quickly. But i was just excited my first baby was in my arms finally:))

[bumpinbaby1995]

Tearing seems so scary. How can you prevent it ?, is there ANY possible way to loosin up down there ?

[kennimae]

I was lucky compared to you I only need 2 or 3 stitches. The only part I hated was I tore upward insead of down. My tailbone was so sore from how I was sitting. I only pushed for a contravtion and the head was there and they had to hurry up and call the doctor in so I had to go through a contraction or 2 while they got ready. I was glad for the epidural since I didnt get to feel the ring of fire or whatever from her being there. I knew I was going to tear when the doctor sat down between my legs and said oh this is goin to be a tight squeeze .. o_O

[missi8]

I dont know how much I teared up (not shure the diff, and cant remamber what my doc said). But I got stickes 3 places couldnt sit, walk, toilet even laught without hurting me the first week..think after 3 weeks the stickes fell off..it was horrable, remamber I use to cry and scream when I was in the toilet the first week. Soo depressed.
This time I am going to be more prepared as I am going to oil up under there from month 7..evdn when I go delivery..I am going to choose waterbirth as it help not to tear up that much...but my baby came out really fast pushed liked couple times and by minuts she was there. Think my midwife was in so shock of how fast it all went she wasnt prepered. From beeing 4 cm til 10 was 1 hour. They where making my epudural ready next to me, when my baby girl just had to come out by minuts...but as I said...ALMOND OIL will be my new bestfriend for down there=) am too scared to rip since my girl will be 2 years old when this baby gets born and I want to enjoy it, not be in pain=/

[abbb01]

I was lucky got only a 1st degree and my son was 8lbs 15ozs but I had an amazing nurse constantly pulling and massaging down there during labor my step sis in law had a 4th degree as her daughter got stuck and they had to use forceps cuz babys vitals were way down and basically tear her out :s but after all said and down both are fine

[doulamommy]

Wow @linabump I'm jealous! I actually endedup in the ER because I started bleeding again. But hey, just goes to show different women do better or  worse than each other!

[doulamommy]

Basically -- it ***** to tear that bad. My midwife felt horrible. She said she thinks she could have saved at least some of me! But honestly, the plus is that I'm not quite as scared of tearing this time! I've had it about as bad as you can and I don't think I'll have it as bad again.
But recovery was rough. I slipped on some ice over a month after my daughter was born and did the splits halfway. I couldn't breathe it hurt so bad! I didn't feel 'normal' down there for months and months, and sometimes when I have to poop (yes I know, tmi) or when I have sex it still hurts over a year later.
So one last question: had anyone else ever torn to this degree, and how long until you felt 100% again?

[linabump]

I had a third degree tear with my first daughter. I was all healed up before my 6 week check up.