Question for a friend

[Emmarie2]

So one of my buddies got his gf pregnant, and now she is saying that she wants nothing to do wit him and she will not allow him to ever see the baby or be apart of the baby's life, but my friend does want to be apart of his daughters life, he tries to find out when her appointments are and he just show up without telling her, he is making such a huge effort to try, he said he doesn't want to be with her anymore after the way she's been acting but he wants to be able to see his daughter and he wants his daughter to have his last name. But his baby's mom said the only thing he'll be able to do for his daughter is pay child support.
So my question is can she even do that? He is a good person, has a good job as a firefighter and he even quit drinking just so she doesn't use that against him. (He wasn't a heavy drinker, just would have a couple with the guys) we live in California, I know some state laws are different.

[Emmarie2]

Thanks ladies! I know the last name thing really isn't his main concern, he would like it, but he just really wants to be a part of his daughters life

[Tay9662]

I beg to differ on the last name.. I know state to state differs but in NC and SC the mom can choose last name and the dad can't stop her(unless she is a unfit mother then finalized documents would be dads choice).

[dillonsmommy1228]

Actually he can do something about the babys last name after he gets a paternity test n proves its his he can ask the judge to have the baby givin his last name.. I've been through court battles over custody and its way better to do it while they r lil rather then wait till they are 8-9 like i was... its hard on the kids.... id keep all documents pertaining to the situation for future reference in case the mother trys to say he doesn't pay or help out with anything... it comes in handy more than u think....

[Tay9662]

mom has "birth rights" so if he somehow gets on the birth certificate, he will have partial custody and she would have full custody.. he can't make her have his last name not even the courts will allow that, but he does need to keep track of receipts he doesn't need to give her money either until the courts make him, and the courts won't make him unless he's on the birth certificate or a DNA test has proved he's the father

[kmommy2b]

If he is the father then she cant deny him to see the baby. its really hard to prove someone is an unfit parent.. at least in pennsylvania is because you need concrete proof... its not against the law to drink and its not against the law to split up with your baby momma. As far as the last name goes he cant do anything but he should definately get lawyer for shared custody

[Emmarie2]

Yeah, he was so hurt when she started acting like this. But I'll let him know so he can start looking for a lawyer. Thank you!

[Emmarie2]

Okay I'll let him know.
Yeah, I have a feeling that's the case or either she got pregnant on purpose just to get money, but he doesn't want to believe any of that when we try to tell him. He loves the baby so much already. :/
But thank you! I will let him know this info! I appreciate it!

[BabyTurnip]

The only thing i think he could do is bring her to court for shared custody. He cant force her to give his last name to the baby. If he does want to see his daughter and she wants child support he will have to pay and do everything by the court to show just how much he wants this. I would get him to call a lawyer and see what they say about it. Because the child is as much as hes as it is hers and he should have some rights just not sure what they all are. Byt if he really wants this then he will fight for her....and unfortunately tjose custody fights are never pretty. They are long, expensive, and hard on the child but totally worth it to see that little girls face. Good luck to him!

[vro1991]

Here it doesnt do any good, but it may there. I would save them until his lawyer says otherwise. And any money he gives her needs to be in a check form so he can keep track of it and it's not his word against hers.

Keep in mind it may not even be his with the way she is acting.

[Emmarie2]

Okay. Should he save receipts for the things he's bought for the baby?

[vro1991]

Tell him to get a lawyer now! As soon as that baby is born they need to file court paperwork and supenas for paternity test. He will need to file for visitation, he may not get weekends or anything in the beginning if she is breast feeding but if she bottle feeds he may. But he needs to get a lawyer now.