Herpes scare

[Bob132]

I just started having (gay) sex, and recently have noticed a small red bump on my upper side of my shaft, and about 1/4 of the distance from the base.  I looked closely, and there appeared to be a hair sticking out of it.  Out of sheer desperation that something would make it go away, I pulled out the hair.  I did some research and believe it to be a papule, because it was small, red, painless, not itchy, or anything.  I squeezed it for some reason because I was going crazy with nervousness.  I am so concerned that it is herpes but it seems unlikely.  5 days ago I received oral sex for the first time, and have never inserted my penis into anything else.  I have performed anal sex twice, once unprotected, but the guy was tested clean in October.
When erect, it is slightly hard to the touch, and there is no visible fluid inside.  Today, it seems a little less red and smaller, I would suspect because I have stopped squeezing it.  I would really like an opinion on if it's possible that this is herpes.  But from what I've read, herpes appears in outbreaks like clusters of little blisters, and this is just one bump that was under a hair.  I can't remember for sure, but I believe I've had a similar red spot on the base of my penis but I disregarded it.  That was long before I lost my virginity.

[auntiejessi]

If you kissed him, yes.  Don't get too freaked about that though - statistically, you've already kissed people with hsv1 - your mother or father, grandparents, siblings, partners, etc.

Aj

[Bob132]

I just thought of something.  If I got herpes from oral sex, then wouldn't I also be at risk of getting the virus on my mouth (cold sore)?

[gracefromHHP]

If your man was tested for herpes in october and it was at least 3 months since he had last had sex with anyone else, then his herpes test is accurate. You'll need to get him to check his test results to find out if he was even tested or not then. Also you'll want to know his hsv1 status too as well as your own for oral sex.  You don't have herpes and not test + for it for years or anything like that - if you are infected, the blood tests will reflect that for the vast majority of folks as long as a few months has passed whether you have had obvious signs of infection or not.



grace

[Bob132]

Thanks.  I've been the only guy since he got tested to have unprotected sex with, but herpes can be dormant in someone for years.  That's why I'm concerned.  The guy I am currently with and I have agreed to have protected sex while we are together, just in case.  I still want to get tested, and am thinking of going to my clinic, but I'm not sure if my insurance covers it, and I would like to keep this secret from my parents.

[auntiejessi]

This sounds like an inflamed or infected hair follicle.  Herpes sores don't have hairs growing out of them.

What I am about to say might sound harsh, but please understand I don't mean it that way.  Its just that there is a lot to think about with safer sex, and I'm not sure you are aware of all of it - many people aren't.

I understand your partner said he had been tested, but for what?  HIV?  What about gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, herpes?  Has he been tested for hepatitis B?  Have you?  

I don't know when you were with him, but lets say it was 5 days ago.  He was tested in October.  How many partners has he had since then?  

I don't mean to scare you - I really don't.  Its just so important that you know this stuff, and no one ever teaches people about it.  

If you are having anal sex, use condoms and additional lube.  Even if you are the top (or the giver, or the insertive person - whatever you choose to call it), you can still get an std, or HIV.  I get that its not always going to be in a long term relationship where you can really know a person, so always use condoms.  If someone doesn't want to be with you because of that, then that means they rarely use condoms, and are at risk.

Since this is all new to you, you should check out some websites - www.ashastd.org has great std info, http://www.gay.com/health , and http://www.thebody.com/content/art40478.html

Again - I'm not trying to scare you, just inform you.  You can have great sex and still be protected.

Aj