Escort Getting Married Please Help

[mynightmare]

8 days ago I was involved with an escort.  I was extremely drunk, so the details are very fuzzy.  I only remember receiving oral sex on my penis and testicles with a condom (I did not ejaculate).  There was also body contact but I can’t remember if I was wearing the condom then, and I don’t know if our genitals touched. I am second guessing every instance I remember of the night.  The woman was a drug user (I’m almost certain intervenes), which I found out after the fact. When she needed to use the bathroom and was there for awhile when she came out I asked her why that’s when she told me.  What if she had done this before she came and I was unaware and there could have been blood?????  It gets worse.

I am getting married less than 2 weeks.  My fiancé is the only woman that I have been with romantically, I had sex with only one other person and it was when I was 20 and it was in another bad situation. I wish I learned, and now I have and I fear it’s too late at 29 years old.   I justified this night with the escort because I did not want to cheat on my wife when we get married EVER, but I knew wondering what it was like to be with another woman would always be in my head and I didn’t want have that temptation. I’m such an idiot. I love her with every fiber of my being.  

Yesterday I went to get tested, unbeknownst to my fiancé.  The doctor took blood and urine, and told me that I was at low risk. I felt only a little better, but just because it was nice to talk to someone.
But then……...this morning when I urinated for the first time of the day it felt a little difficult at first and when I started to urinate the stream split like urination after intercourse.  I thought it was odd and looked in the toilet and saw a white milky substance that looked like semen, there was enough to notice without looking hard. It was defiantly strange and I don’t remember having seen something like this before.

I’ve read about gonorrhea, my penis does not burn when I urinate or otherwise (outside of what I think is physiological). The area around the opening is not red, my testicles have been uncomfortable but not to the point where it’s distracting and normally I urinate a lot so I can’t tell if I’m going more than normal.  I have urinated 3 times since then and have seen nothing. I have not ejaculated in over a week now (obvious reasons) which is unusual for me,

could I have had a partial “wet dream” and this was just residual semen?
Should I go back to the doctor?  
What am I at risk for, I feel like everything?

I have no one in my life to talk with, only my fiancé.  I have decided to wait to tell her, I don’t want to ruin this for her, I feel so guilty and I am living a day by day hell. Every time she gets flowers or we get a gift I want to break out sobbing.  We leave for a month trip to another country beginning of next month. I have not sleep with her since this incident and will not; I have lied already to her more in these few days than our entire relationship. I feel like I’m going to have a heart attack, STDs are her worst nightmare and now I’m the person making that a reality.  Please help.

[Vance2335]

Go over and post in the HIV community and they will ease your mind about HIV from this incident.

[mynightmare]

Thank you for the reply.  I understand what you mean by the guilt, it is a factor.  I really do love her and i just wish i could go back in time.  I keep having these thoughts of even if my tests come back ok that HIV is too soon to show and i end up ruining her life.  I would want to tell her so i could wait 3 months to get tested again before intercourse with her.

[Vance2335]

1. yes
2. no
3. with a condom you really had no risk.

i think due to your guilt you are making a lot more of this then necessary. my first advice would be to calm down. second is to find a therapist. i was told that we tell partners of cheating not because we feel like we should but because we can not deal with the guilt.