Aa
What are the chances?
So last night I was hanging with a friend of mine, like we have before. It was real hot so I dressed down in his boxers and my cami and there was some touching and massaging going on. At any rate, he tried to take it to the way next step at one point and nearly penetrated me - his penis pushed just passed the entrance at worst or was pushing to get in at best. That was before I stopped him, and of course he stopped. He was NOT wearing a condom. :(
Now in late May I was diagnosed with chlamydia which was treated, but it completely devestated me. I suffer from depression and anxiety as it is so it has made me an STD hypochondriac. I've had limited to zero sex since and it has all been with condoms.
Now we had been talking before this and he brought up something about only attracting the same type of woman so he'd made a New Year's resolution to "cut back" and that he hadn't had sex in two months, and I believe him given the context in which he said it.
After that happened I got real nervous and asked him if he has anything, "like herpes or other STDs" and that I should have asked in the first place lest something like this happen. He said no, he's clean as a whistle. That if he had anything he would have told me or not proceeded to do that. I kept asking and asking and it was clear he wanted to reassure me, he even had me examine his penis for peace of mind (which didn't exactly come though there was nothing on it or around it). One of the last times I asked, "are you sure? So you don't have anything, right? I want you to reassure me" he said, "well I'll tell you no and that is the truth but you'll probably worry anyway".
So I'd like to know...
- if it is possible for a 31 year-old straight male to have gone two months with a bacterial STD, or trich, and have zero symptoms? Or at least how likely is it?
- what the risk factors are if he had chlamydia/gonorrhea/trich and didn't know it but his penis slightly penetrated me for a short time, no condom. I understand there is a *chance* but what is the likeliness?
- I cannot go to the STD clinic because I already had this year twice. But if I go somewhere else, is a week long enough to wait?
Now in late May I was diagnosed with chlamydia which was treated, but it completely devestated me. I suffer from depression and anxiety as it is so it has made me an STD hypochondriac. I've had limited to zero sex since and it has all been with condoms.
Now we had been talking before this and he brought up something about only attracting the same type of woman so he'd made a New Year's resolution to "cut back" and that he hadn't had sex in two months, and I believe him given the context in which he said it.
After that happened I got real nervous and asked him if he has anything, "like herpes or other STDs" and that I should have asked in the first place lest something like this happen. He said no, he's clean as a whistle. That if he had anything he would have told me or not proceeded to do that. I kept asking and asking and it was clear he wanted to reassure me, he even had me examine his penis for peace of mind (which didn't exactly come though there was nothing on it or around it). One of the last times I asked, "are you sure? So you don't have anything, right? I want you to reassure me" he said, "well I'll tell you no and that is the truth but you'll probably worry anyway".
So I'd like to know...
- if it is possible for a 31 year-old straight male to have gone two months with a bacterial STD, or trich, and have zero symptoms? Or at least how likely is it?
- what the risk factors are if he had chlamydia/gonorrhea/trich and didn't know it but his penis slightly penetrated me for a short time, no condom. I understand there is a *chance* but what is the likeliness?
- I cannot go to the STD clinic because I already had this year twice. But if I go somewhere else, is a week long enough to wait?
Thank you. I try, but often times depression and anxiety gives me thoughts and ideas that lead to untimately damaging behavior - whethe ri tbe stressing myself out or what. In this case it may have more to do with the fact that I'll be starting school for myomassology and it's the first time I got to do anythign liek this. It's a big step for me so I'm just LOOKING for something to worry about, something to make it not good.
So while your words are reassuring, I'll have to "see it to believe it". 'Cause I feel like if I stop worrying then I'll be punished for it. Ugh, irrational I know but I can't help it.
But if indeed slight penetration or just hitting the barrier (I have a hymen remnant at the entrance to my vagina which can cause pain so I don't believe it went any further than that, just kinda pushed at it it seemed), no thrusting or anything, isn't much of a risk that does SOME for me. So thank you.
If there is anything else youor anybody else can say then I'd appreciate it. But in the meantime I'mma ask him to get checked and just go up and build even more medical bills I can't pay for when I spend $100+ for the lab test, heh. Can never be too sure.
So while your words are reassuring, I'll have to "see it to believe it". 'Cause I feel like if I stop worrying then I'll be punished for it. Ugh, irrational I know but I can't help it.
But if indeed slight penetration or just hitting the barrier (I have a hymen remnant at the entrance to my vagina which can cause pain so I don't believe it went any further than that, just kinda pushed at it it seemed), no thrusting or anything, isn't much of a risk that does SOME for me. So thank you.
If there is anything else youor anybody else can say then I'd appreciate it. But in the meantime I'mma ask him to get checked and just go up and build even more medical bills I can't pay for when I spend $100+ for the lab test, heh. Can never be too sure.
Well you certainly sound like you have h\your head on straight and it good to know that people like you are out there insisting on condoms.
So overall I agree with what I first said is that you have little to no chance to getting an STD if he had anything.
So overall I agree with what I first said is that you have little to no chance to getting an STD if he had anything.
Thank you.
Yes it barely went it and then I pulled away. Aside from the slight penetration there was some genital to genital - as in vulva to penis - touching/rubbing (as would inevitably happen for there to be any degree of penetration).
I am VERY adamant about condom use; the time I got chlamydia the guy had removed the condom and didn't tell me (I heard the noise of rubber stretching but he complained it wasn't lubbed, which I avoid due to my sensativity, but I would never had imagined he removed it just that he had trouble with it). However I had NOT planned on his penis being anywhere near my vagina and in fact when he expressed interest in sex with me earlier on (he said he didn't want me to feel uncomfortable if he made a move) I had said that I'm actually more interested in being with a woman sexually now (I'm bi-sexual). So I definitely did not plan on that happening, I suppose he was "in the moment" (though it wasn't that big a moment for me). But otherwise I certainly do wear condoms.
And yes, I do plan on asking him to get tested because he should anyway. I just turned 24 and he is 31 and while those aren't "night and day" I'm sure among our peers our risk factors are different. So he may have already, but I'm gonna insist he does for me.
Yes it barely went it and then I pulled away. Aside from the slight penetration there was some genital to genital - as in vulva to penis - touching/rubbing (as would inevitably happen for there to be any degree of penetration).
I am VERY adamant about condom use; the time I got chlamydia the guy had removed the condom and didn't tell me (I heard the noise of rubber stretching but he complained it wasn't lubbed, which I avoid due to my sensativity, but I would never had imagined he removed it just that he had trouble with it). However I had NOT planned on his penis being anywhere near my vagina and in fact when he expressed interest in sex with me earlier on (he said he didn't want me to feel uncomfortable if he made a move) I had said that I'm actually more interested in being with a woman sexually now (I'm bi-sexual). So I definitely did not plan on that happening, I suppose he was "in the moment" (though it wasn't that big a moment for me). But otherwise I certainly do wear condoms.
And yes, I do plan on asking him to get tested because he should anyway. I just turned 24 and he is 31 and while those aren't "night and day" I'm sure among our peers our risk factors are different. So he may have already, but I'm gonna insist he does for me.
A lot to that story and I will do my best to help you out.
1. it is possible for a male to have gonorrhea and NGU and not show symptoms but I think the percentage is something like 1% or 2%. So that is not really a worry. he could have chlymidia and not know it, symptoms present in far less cases then for gonorrhea and NGU. So there is a chance.
2. From everything I read the chance of you getting anything from a one time slight penetration is very very small. If his tip got inside of you and then pulled out right away I think the chance might be close to zero.
3. One week is long enough to wait to get tested for gon and chly.
To be honest I would not worry so much about this encounter, it was very low risk possibly no risk from what you tell. You might want to talk to your friend some more and see when he was last tested for STD's. If he has never been you should encourage him to do so because all sexually active people should be tested.
And if you make sure to always have your partner wear a condom you reduce the risk of STD transmission to almost zero. And before you find someone and start having unprotected sex you both can have tests done together and then you will both know you are clean. The last seems kind of dumb but it's a sure fire way to find out.
1. it is possible for a male to have gonorrhea and NGU and not show symptoms but I think the percentage is something like 1% or 2%. So that is not really a worry. he could have chlymidia and not know it, symptoms present in far less cases then for gonorrhea and NGU. So there is a chance.
2. From everything I read the chance of you getting anything from a one time slight penetration is very very small. If his tip got inside of you and then pulled out right away I think the chance might be close to zero.
3. One week is long enough to wait to get tested for gon and chly.
To be honest I would not worry so much about this encounter, it was very low risk possibly no risk from what you tell. You might want to talk to your friend some more and see when he was last tested for STD's. If he has never been you should encourage him to do so because all sexually active people should be tested.
And if you make sure to always have your partner wear a condom you reduce the risk of STD transmission to almost zero. And before you find someone and start having unprotected sex you both can have tests done together and then you will both know you are clean. The last seems kind of dumb but it's a sure fire way to find out.
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