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Chances of Transmission
In March of this year, I began dating a man and we became sexually active. He later disclosed to me that he had genital herpes. We always used condoms. One time though, the condom slipped off - to the point where I actually had to pull it out of myself. He realized what had happened before it came completely off and tried to get it, but couldn't. On at least two occasions, I believe I touched his penis and may have subsequently touched my vagina.
I then developed what I believe to be symptoms of genital herpes. I woke up two consecutive mornings with severe lower back pain - my intial description was "My back is on fire" and I did awaken in an awkward position. I have had lower back pain before even knowing this person. The back pain subsided, but was still present and noticeably worse when laying down in bed and in the morning. Seemed to dissapate during the course of the day, only to return at night upon going to bed.
I then developed a vaginal discharge - had on a pair of black underwear and while urinating, happened to look down and spot it. This was one week before my period. Seemed to stop when I was menstruating and then resumed for another two weeks after my period. The discharge was white and smooth, there was no odor, and no itching. I have not had a yeast infection or other noticeable discharge that I can ever recall - I'm 37. This discharge began within a week of the second incident of my touching his penis and then touching myself, while the back pain started approximately two weeks prior to that. I'm not sure if my glands are swollen, but I did have aches in my leg joints that lasted about a week and a half and stopped a few days after my period stopped. The glands themselves are not sore. The back pain now seems to be centralized on my right side and has lessened somewhat, and today was the first day in three weeks without discharge. I did not have a fever or any other symptoms that I would have called "flu-like".
My questions:
1. Does this sound like a classic initial outbreak? There are no visible lesions and no pain or burning upon urination. I had been doing some pretty vigorous physical activity in the days leading up to the back pain which involved a lot of bending at the back - can't quite convince myself it's nothing with the occurrence of the vaginal discharge though.
2. Did I engage in overly risky behavior by touching him and then myself? How long does the virus live outside the body?
3. He was not having any outward signs of an outbreak and has said that he hasn't had one in over five years. He is not on any suppressive medications. He said that he hasn't transmitted to any previous partners. He does take an antidepressant that causes him to sweat very profusely during physical extertion. What are the chances that he did transmit to me? Can genital herpes be transmitted by the sweating action?
I was in a monogamous relationship for almost 9 years and have never had reason to believe I came in contact with anyone with herpes. I used condoms regularly prior to that relationship. Now that the discharge has stopped, do I have to wait to get tested? The relationship has ended for other reasons, but we most likely had sex at least 20-30 times in the two months that we were together, but always, always used a condom. Obviously, I am extremely concerned and anxious. Can you provide your opinion? I would greatly appreciate it!
I then developed what I believe to be symptoms of genital herpes. I woke up two consecutive mornings with severe lower back pain - my intial description was "My back is on fire" and I did awaken in an awkward position. I have had lower back pain before even knowing this person. The back pain subsided, but was still present and noticeably worse when laying down in bed and in the morning. Seemed to dissapate during the course of the day, only to return at night upon going to bed.
I then developed a vaginal discharge - had on a pair of black underwear and while urinating, happened to look down and spot it. This was one week before my period. Seemed to stop when I was menstruating and then resumed for another two weeks after my period. The discharge was white and smooth, there was no odor, and no itching. I have not had a yeast infection or other noticeable discharge that I can ever recall - I'm 37. This discharge began within a week of the second incident of my touching his penis and then touching myself, while the back pain started approximately two weeks prior to that. I'm not sure if my glands are swollen, but I did have aches in my leg joints that lasted about a week and a half and stopped a few days after my period stopped. The glands themselves are not sore. The back pain now seems to be centralized on my right side and has lessened somewhat, and today was the first day in three weeks without discharge. I did not have a fever or any other symptoms that I would have called "flu-like".
My questions:
1. Does this sound like a classic initial outbreak? There are no visible lesions and no pain or burning upon urination. I had been doing some pretty vigorous physical activity in the days leading up to the back pain which involved a lot of bending at the back - can't quite convince myself it's nothing with the occurrence of the vaginal discharge though.
2. Did I engage in overly risky behavior by touching him and then myself? How long does the virus live outside the body?
3. He was not having any outward signs of an outbreak and has said that he hasn't had one in over five years. He is not on any suppressive medications. He said that he hasn't transmitted to any previous partners. He does take an antidepressant that causes him to sweat very profusely during physical extertion. What are the chances that he did transmit to me? Can genital herpes be transmitted by the sweating action?
I was in a monogamous relationship for almost 9 years and have never had reason to believe I came in contact with anyone with herpes. I used condoms regularly prior to that relationship. Now that the discharge has stopped, do I have to wait to get tested? The relationship has ended for other reasons, but we most likely had sex at least 20-30 times in the two months that we were together, but always, always used a condom. Obviously, I am extremely concerned and anxious. Can you provide your opinion? I would greatly appreciate it!
Probably what is really bothering you is that he didn't tell you, and it's sort of a betrayal. People aren't honest abt this stuff b/c they are afraid you will leave them. It's sad, very sad. The fact that you didn't have any blister is a clue to me that you don't have anything. And your emotional state can really mess up the flora down there causing things like yeast infectons. I've had that happen to me, got tested and was fine, so that's how I know.
You didn't have that much exposure anyway. The little you described is extremely minimal to say the least. Plus the fact that he didn't have an outbreak with the minimal exposure, your chances are really slim. Get tested anyway to put your mind at ease but it sounds like you are ok. Consider this is a lesson learned. Good luck!
Thanks for the reply mayflowers. I'm eating myself up over this and the anxiety is killing me, plus the fact that he felt it wasn't neccessary to say anything PRIOR to engaging in sexual activity with me. These are great forums and the people are wonderful. Thanks again! Still think I'm going to get tested so I can put this to rest...
I don't have herpes but from what I've read on your post, it really doesn't sound like you have it either. Sounds like the white stuff was either yeast, bacterial infection or hormonal. When I got periods, I had a terrible backache sometimes too.
There are some great people on this forum who could give you a better idea but off the top of my head, I would say you don't have herpes from this guy.
There are some great people on this forum who could give you a better idea but off the top of my head, I would say you don't have herpes from this guy.
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You are reading content posted in the STDs / STIs Community
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
