Sex with a promiscuous man. STD?

[LittleOne22]

Hello! Thank you in advance for your help. Here is my scenario: I am a 27 year old female with HSV 2, no outbreaks ever, not even an initial outbreak. I was tested through a blood test which came back positive. I have never had any other std and have no other std's as of the beginning of this year when I was tested (it is now October). About 2 1/2 months ago, while my boyfriend and I were separated I dated and slept with a man whom I have known for some time. We were sleeping together on and off very infrequently for about 2 1/2 months. I'd say we had sex 7 times at most. Our sexual activity was always the same: we both performed unprotected oral sex on each other, him on me most of the time and me on him a few times but not often. There was no ejaculation EVER and my performance on him was very brief and I mainly used my hands. We also had protected vaginal sex with a condom used each and every time.  I have since found out this man is very promiscuous and has had unprotected sex with other women. Initially he told me he was not this way. But he is. He was tested and negative for everything in February, so he promises. When I found out about his behavior I stopped sleeping with him. I am now back with my boyfriend but I do  not want to put him at risk of catching and STD from me that I may have caught from mr promiscuity. My question is what is this risk that I caught an STD such as chlamydia, gonorrhea, or HIV (I know this is not the HIV forum but an answer would be appreciated)? Does my having HSV 2 with no outbreaks put me at more of a risk? Should I be tested? Should I have sex with my boyfriend? What is your risk assessment? Thank you so much for your help! I would love to calm my worries. I tried to be as safe as possible with someone I trusted but it seems my trust was built on a false persona.

Sincerely,
The Worry Queen

[JessyJames2010]

Yeah, everyone has a little (more like greatly!) paranoid side when it comes to STDs.  

There's a negative pyscological component to STD matters, and sometimes its good to talk to a counciler about them. I am not saying you need counciling or that I think your crazy; its just a good couple of conversations to have, to know and make yourself aware.   It sounds like you have done the correct things and are continuing to do so, I say this for others out there paying attention.

I've had about 15 unprotected different women encounters from my past, and didn't catch anything serious.  Thank God.  This is not a statement to encourage everyone out there to go have sex.  But just so you know not ever sexual act leads in infection, BUT in doing such a thing does put you at risk.   Just be careful by watching out who you are going to sleep with, and your own health, but really you never really know a person.   A good doctor of mine calls it "Sexual Russian Roulette".    

Abstinence.  

[LittleOne22]

Thank you for your reply, I greatly appreciate it.  I must admit that I am a little on the paranoid side when it comes to STD's.  I have always been safe and get tested once a year or with new partners and have my partners tested.  I didn't realize that the man I was having sex with was having sex with so many other people, and more importantly, without a condom with some of them.  Although it is his body to do with as he pleases, and he should do what he would like, I do not want to put myself at more of a risk, and mainly cause myself anxiety because I do not know about his sexual partners or behaviors.  BTW, he has HSV 2 as well, and I knew that, so no risk for any of us really since we both have it.  I  appreciate your reply and comments and all of your help.  I feel much less worried.  :-)

[JessyJames2010]

Hi Worry Queen.

You had a low risk for gonorrhea, from unprotected oral sex; I doubt that Mr. Promiscuity has urethra gonorrhea putting you at risk for oral gonorrhea, or that he has oral gonorrhea putting you at risk for vaginal gonorrhea.  

No risk for HIV, chlamydia from unprotected oral sex.  Finally you report that you had protected vaginal sex with Mr. Promiscuity so no risk for HIV (this includes the fact that you hare HSV-2 positive with no outbreak).   The only concern if you did put yourself at risk for is an STD you already have so, if anything -- he was at risk (assuming he is HSV-2 negative).  

Mr Promiscuity sounds like me a couple years back, that he uses condoms is encouraging and probably does so with other women.  As I've said numberous time on these forums, people don't like about their STD status or if they are virgins, what they DO lie about is the number of people they've been with.    Lastly I want you to know that though Mr. Promiscuity sounds like a STD vector, he probably is not, as me who've had more than 60 partners in my life with most of them condom protected; only caught non chlamydial NGU (negative everything else).

Because you are sexually active it is recommend that you test once a year.  Expect negative bacterial STDs, and negative HIV.  I see no reason for you to worry.