Concerned about STD & transmission to wife.

I had unprotected sex twice with a woman two days in a row. The same woman both days. I didn't ejaculate either time, but she did perform oral on me and I on her. I am married and this woman was not my wife. Of course, I saw no signs of disease on her or I wouldn't have had sex with her.

Since then, I have experienced a frequent need to urinate and a burning sensation when I pee. It's not screamingly painful, but it's pretty constant a companion to my bathroom trips.

Additionally, the tip of my penis feels more sensitive at times and also the mouth of the penis feels wet on occasion. I may be "dribbling" or something when not peeing. I looked at the tip of my penis and the area right around the penis mouth is somewhat red. I have had this urination issue since late last week.

Since I had sex with this other woman, unprotected, I also had protected sex once with my wife. Without a condom, though, she gave me oral. I did not come, but there may have been precum. I have no idea. As far as I know, she didn't have any mouth lesions, but it's hard to tell.

Now my wife, about a week later, has developed a sore throat/swollen lymph nodes/low-grade fever/sneezing/coughing/congestion. I don't know if it's a coincidence or if I did, in fact, get an STD and transmit it to her via the one oral session.

I am freaked out about this beyond belief and have urged her to go to the doctor to get it looked at, but am now going to take steps to find out what (if any) stds I have.

What is the likelihood I have given myself and my wife HIV this way? Based on my symptoms and hers, is it possible I don't have HIV, but something else? Could another STD give her these symptoms?

I will get tested Friday of this week at the latest. Until that time, I spend all my moments worrying about her and our little daughter and wanting to take back every thing I have done that lead me to this point. I look online at STD information and get more and more depressed.

Can anyone give me any feedback that might help inform me until I get results (most likely) around Monday or Tuesday of next week?

[gracefromHHP]

since you've had unprotected sex with another partner, you need to follow up with proper std testing at the proper times. when to test for what is listed in our read before posting post on the forum. Be sure to follow it properly or you are wasting your time and not properly protecting your regular partner.   It takes 3 months until you've properly covered your bases.

since your urine testing was negative, not likely this  is a std going on but you need to do all the testing we recommend.  make sure that they also manually examine your prostate too when you are seen again.

grace

[Tony19821]

Ok try and calm down. I know how stressful this worrying can be. Firstly HIV shouldn't be a realistic concern here. No symptoms you describe are anything related to HIV and its also not passed on through oral sex. The burning urination and possible discharge from your penis suggest maybe there is something going on but I very much doubt you've passed anything to your wife via the oral she gave you. I think like you said it's coincidence that she's got a sore throat etc. You're doing the right thing by getting tested so try and relax until you get your results. Please let us know what the results are. And if you take one thing from this it's by learning from the mistake.

[Worriedinthedesert]

The best thing to do now is to get tested, so don't wait. Unprotected vaginal sex might not have a high risk for HIV however there is a possibility of other Stds. So don't wait and get tested, you have symptoms sounds like Ghonerea or chlaydamia, this can be checked with a urine test.

For your anxiety you can ask the women that you slept with and ask her of her std status.

Just for your sake and your family, always use protection when you are sexually active with people of unknown status.

Good luck

[Rollis]

Went to doctor today. Wife went with, but she still doesn't know anything yet. I want to find out my status before I tell her anything. If I am negative for STDs, then it makes the conversation awful, not devastating. Either way, I will be in for some terrible and emotional changes in my life, possibly.

She went to the doctor today because she has cold symptoms somewhat and I urged her to do so. I went and got my urine tested because I had visited that doctor before re: this possible UTI last week. Since it has been a week and I still have it (though not as bad, I suppose), I decided to give them a urine sample. They found nothing. My urine is clean.

I was told that they could do STD testing there but, since my wife was present, I decided against it. I want to have that conversation with her AFTER I find out, not before. I certainly didn't want to have it in a doctor's office with no warning.

From what people are telling me on here and other forums, it sounds more like chlamydia or gonnorhea (Gonorrhea). That's a relief, but the real relief will be in getting back the results from the full-panel STD testing I will be getting this Friday. It's very expensive, but well worth it to know what's going on in my system, since we now know it's not a UTI.

Got steroid cream for my penis, though, since most of the issues are at the tip/urethra...and I hope that works, but I'm still going to get the STD tests.

I have a bad feeling about all of this...but if I can just have the clap or gonnorhea (Gonorrhea) (even if I did infect my wife with it via her giving me oral, despite my lack of finishing), I will be so relieved and happy, actually.

NOT having HIV is what I need to be the outcome. All other things, as awful as even things like Hepatitis and Herpes are, are still something we could live through. As parents of a toddler, we both need to be healthy and around for as long as possible. HIV is a devastating thing to discover you have.

I hope/pray/will for me to NOT have HIV and I would love if I didn't end up having given my wife ANYthing via receiving oral the other night.

If I get my testing Fri, I should know by Monday or Tuesday I believe.

[gracefromHHP]

since you've had unprotected sex with another partner, you need to follow up with proper std testing at the proper times. when to test for what is listed in our read before posting post on the forum. Be sure to follow it properly or you are wasting your time and not properly protecting your regular partner.   It takes 3 months until you've properly covered your bases.

since your urine testing was negative, not likely this  is a std going on but you need to do all the testing we recommend.  make sure that they also manually examine your prostate too when you are seen again.

grace

[Rollis]

I'll be happy to read that. Thanks for the head's up. As for not seeing STDs in my urine, well...they didn't test for that. They tested for UTIs. They said my urine looked clean based on that. I won't be having sex until this is all cleared up. It's not even an issue. Sex is now something currently of little interest to me after all of this has gone down. I applied the first dose of the steroid they prescribed just a few minutes ago. I hope it ends up working, but I have my doubts as it feels like the issue is INSIDE my urethra and not just on the head of my penis. The head is red at the tip (around the urethra) and sensitive. I'll update more when I know more.

[gracefromHHP]

correct and odds are if you had an active std causing your symptoms, it would be reflected by abnormalities in your routine urine testing.  

[robertr]

What abnormalities would be seen in routine urine test if u had an std?
Thanks