Im going to hell - HELP

[Worrier69]

Vance/AJ

First of all yes i deserve to die and go to hell.  I made up my mind that im done doing this stuff.  Its killing me.

Between March and June of this year i visited massage parlors about 8 times to receive oral, no vaginal.  All were protected so i thought it was safe.  However about 5 of the girls used their mouth to put on the condom so some saliva must have got in contact with my penis.  Im very worried about getting STDs or HIV so i am very cautious about wearing protection.

Approx 8/5 i starting noticing a rash on my stomach right below my ribs on the both sides, had 3 blistery rash spots on my left palm, had a couple on the side of my feet, and quite a bit on top of my hands and between my fingers.  They felt like little blisters under the skin.  I remeber having a couple every now and then between my fingers in the past.  But the rash on my stomach made me worry after searching the net on what it could be.  I also had 2 sores on the top inside cheek of my mouth.  I thought it was all caused by stress about money investments.

I visited the doctor on 8/6 since my stress was kicking in about getting an STD.  Doctor took a blood test i assume for the rash (secondary syphillis) on 8/7 and i got negative result on 8/13.  On 8/8 i  checked my penis and found a small scab on the top base of the shaft (i never saw before) so i looked on the internet and read secondary syphillis starts when the chancre is healing.  So now i freaked out since i had a scab that i assumed was a healing chancre!.  

I then get tested again for syphillis and HIV at the free clinic (couldnt get tested for gon & chlam since they reached their patient limit that day) on 8/10 and got negative results on 8/19 because i was unsure what my doctor was testing me for.  

Yes im married and dont want to pass anything to my wife or lose my wife.  Im done doing this stuff.  

My main questions are:

1. Do both results confirm im negative?  
2. Could it be possible that i tested too early?  If i recall my last protected oral sex was June 12 or 19.  So i got the blood tests (2) during the 7th-8th week after the last oral sex encounter.
3. If the rash was secondary syphillis would the results have been positive?  Or can they still show negative since its too early?
4. Do you recommend i do any follow up test for any STDs?  
5. I also got a couple regular massages with happy endings (masturbation) at the end of the session.  Are there any STD risks for this?

Vance please also ask AJ to respond to this post too so i can get another opinion.  

Thanks

[Vance2335]

It is no risk.

[Worrier69]

One more question.  I forgot one girl after a massage kissed the top of my penis prior to giving me a handjob.  I dont think her tongue touched my penis and i hope no saliva got in contact with my urethra.  But if they did am i at risk for anything.   I know my penis did not enter her mouth.  What type of std or herpes risks do i have for this?  I guess my concern is her health and risks she takes since she allowed me to cum in her mouth.  She did try to kiss my penis after i came but i pulled away.  She did wash her mouth with mouthwash twice after.  

Thanks again  

[Vance2335]

There is nothing more we can help you with here. We have given you advice and told you that you did not have a risk. This can't keep going on and on again and again because it will never stop.

This is guilt and anxiety, nothing more. It's time for you to stop posting here and see a therapist.

[Worrier69]

About 2 months ago i remember having some yellow stains in my underwear in the morning.  I freaked out and changed them out and montiored to see if it was permantent stains or news ones.  I dont remember getting anymore new ones until this morning.  I had about 5-6 yellow spots.  As you know ive been having the feeling of wanting to constantly urinate.  I hope the underwear i was wearing was old stains and not new ones (discharge).  Or hope it was yellow urine marks from drops after urinating?

Is the discharge found normally on the underwear or actually on the tip of the penis?  I never saw discharge on my penis.  Is Chlam and Gon discharge found everyday until its treated or can it come and go?  I still have the constant urge to urniate which started on Tuesday.  This stress is unbearable.  I have a doctors appointment tomorrow.  Maybe i will take another urine test and get my results sooner than waiting for the free clinics one which i will get on 10/1/09.

Im wondering how to handle the situation and have my wife checked if i have Chlam or Gon, preventing a divorce.  Would the Z-Pack have cured or prevented Chlam or Gon since we last had sex on 9/12/09?  She ended the Z-Pack on 9/14/09 for a sinus infection.  I heard when taking the Z-Pack it stays in your system for about 10 days after the last dose.

Can you also please ask Aj to read and respond to my recent posts.

Thanks

[Vance2335]

It could be uti, bladder or something else. It is not a STD that is just showing it's self. I think most of this is mental.

[Worrier69]

I hope you are right

Now im experiencing the urge to always urinate.  This is unbelievable.  Started yesterday evening and as of now i still feel like i need to urniate.  Something is not right.  I go to the toilet and only a little comes out but the feeling of urniating is constant.  

Im going insane!  These symptoms are scaring the s**t out of me.

If not Chlam or Gon what could this be?

Could it be some kind of bladder or unitary tract infection?  I had sex with my wife when she was sick little oral receiving and vaginal.  Could this be the cause which happened on 9/12/09?  I dont remember a foul odor.  And she hasnt complained of itching, burning, etc.

Help!

[Vance2335]

You had no risk for gonorrhea or chlymida.

[Worrier69]

Last night for about 4 hours i felt some slight on and off itchyness or irriation near my penis hole.  This itchyness was not felt during urination.  This is 3 months from my last encounter of protect oral sex (as i stated above 4 girls used their mouth to put on the condom). Because of this i got tested today for gon and chlam.  The stress is kicking in again.  Clinic did a urine test so i get my results next week Wendesday. Im fine today so i hoping the unpleasantness was from something else.  I read that oral sex normally does not transmit Chlam.  But i also read on the internet that itchiness at the tip of the penis is a symptom of Chlam.  I have no other symptoms.

Last time i had sex with my wife was Saturday 9/12/09.  She and two of our kids had azithromycn (Zithromax) for a sinus infection 2 weeks ago.  She started the 5 day antibiodics on 9/10/09 and finished it on 9/14/09.  So if i had cham or gon (praying i dont have either one) would the antibiodics prevent her from getting it since we had sex on 9/12/09?  Is this anitbiotic the proper one to cure gon and chlam?

In need of another opinion for STD instead of Syphillis now. Im really killing myself.

Thanks

[Worrier69]

thanks for the response.  

I never noticed a canker.  I normally am very observant when im stressing out.  I found the scab when i already had the rash.  The scab was located at the base on top my penis, very close to the pubic hair, so it was somewhat hiding.  It must have been a scab from a scratch, i hope.  I just dont recall ever having a scab on my shaft before.  So i almost had a heart attack after looking on the internet.

Thanks again.  Time to move on.

[auntiejessi]

Vance gave you great info.  A syphilis rash is more than a few spots here and there.  Have you ever googled pics of secondary syphilis?

Guilt does not equal risk.  Oral syphilis is not that common - syphilis itself isn't that common in developed countries, and putting a condom on with your mouth is fine.  Syphilis is spread by direct contact with a sore - not saliva.

So relax, you aren't going to hell for this (unless your wife finds out and sends you there lol) and you aren't at risk for HIV, either.  If you need to know more about that, go and read the endless questions about oral sex and HIV in the HIV prevention forum.

Aj

[Vance2335]

1. If it was 6 weeks after your last exposure then yes. Even though your symptoms do sound suspicious tests are very valid. But question you never noticed a canker?
2. As I said 6 weeks should give you a conclusive result
3. Yes it should be positive because the antibodies would be produced
4. For the most part I would say anyother STD would be very very very rare using a condom and the little bit of saliva that was possible would not transmit a STD.
5. No

AJ does know more about syphilis so I will ask her to take a look.