Unprotected sex (vaginal & oral) 3 years ago - still stressed - would I have already had noticeable symptoms of STDs!!!

[jthomas33]

Hi - thank you in advance for your help.

Three years ago I had unprotected vaginal and oral sex with a woman.  I performed cunnilingus 3 times over a 2 month period, and we had vaginal intercourse 4 times over the 2 months.  The girl I had sex with said she was "clean" and I said I was too (I had only been with my wife during the previous 5 years and we both had been tested for HIV and STDs and were negative so I knew I was definitely clean).  About 6 weeks afterwards I experienced some semen like discharge after unrinating - felt like semen, was sticky like it and looked identical to it and there was no odor.  At the time I had just started taking Effexor and then Cymbalta as I was very, very anxious (I was and am married).  I never got tested and I only experienced this semen like discharge a 1/2 dozen times or so over the next month, and to date (3 years later) I haven't experienced any symptoms that have concerned me.  I stopped taking the Cymbalta about 6 months later (or 2 1/2 years ago).  I do have some extra drips of urine after urinating and if I don't "shake" it several times I will drip some pee into my underwear, and I sometimes feel I urinate too frequently, but nothing else, but I drink a lot of fluids too.  I am recently stressed out ot the point of not being able to eat or sleep b/c my wife's endomatrium is thick and she is having lower abdominal pain.  Now I remember her feeling naueseous occassionally, having some vaginal discharge, yeast infections, etc over the past 3 years and I am freaking out b/c these are all STD symptoms.  I now also feel like my left testicle has a dull pain, as well as my abdomen, perhaps due to the stress (I hope).  She just had a Pap Smear (not sure if they tested for STDs and I didn't ask for obvious reasons) and cervical exam and both results came back normal.  
My question is:  what are the chances I contracted an STD (Chlamydia or Gonorrhea or any other) and did not notice any major symptoms over the last 3 years?  And could the same be true for my wife and now could she experiencing symptoms?
I am terribly concerned and stressed and just hate myself for what I did!!
Please respond.
JT

[auntiejessi]

Your chances of having gonorrhea or chlamydia for 3 years with no major symptoms is right there next to nothing.  I wouldn't worry about that at all, and it sounds like your wife has been diagnosed with a thick endometrium lining, so that would explain some, if not all, of her symptoms.

I would, however, have your urine tested for white blood cells and have a prostate exam done.  The chances that this has anything to do with that is low - I'm wondering if its anxiety - but you should at least get it ruled out.

This would have nothing to do with sex, either with your wife or the other woman.

AJ

[jthomas33]

Thanks for your quick response.  Maybe I did have symptoms though and just didn't notice?  I have not had any discharge other than what I explained above.  And I have read chlamydia and gonorrhea can be asymptomatic for months and years, like 75% in women and 50% of men don't experience any...sorry, I am just really freaked out.  My wife also had an ultrasound and they didn't see any fibroids, so they aren't sure what is wrong with her yet...

I have had my annual physical in 06 and 07 and blood and urine were fine...

[auntiejessi]

If you had untreated gonorrhea or chlamydia for 3 years, you would notice it, I promise.  You would be very sick by now.

I know so many sites say years, but in my personal experience, the longest I've ever seen anyone go without symptoms is a year and a half for chlamydia.  Gonorrhea symptoms typically show up sooner than chlamydia.

If it makes you feel better, then just test.  I say this with kindess, and not criticism, but since you are so concerned 3 years later, and can't seem to let it go, perhaps you need to explore that with a therapist, as maybe your anxiety is an issue here.

AJ

[jthomas33]

I really appreciate your responses and information...are you a Doctor?

It is tough to find consistent information.  I see so many sites that say gonorrhea and chlamydia are easily contracted from cunnilingus, and some that say it is extremely unlikely.  And what about NGU, trich, HPV and all the others I have read about...would I be noticing major symptoms?  

I also appreciate your sensitivity, and I have seena therapist, my anxiety has just been really heightened since she started feeling this pain and her endometrium is thick, yet the ultrasound showed no fibroids...I am scared I gave her something and it is PID...would that take years to develop?

[jthomas33]

Also, so I can get this off my chest in here, I performed cunnilingus on a girl in Feb 2006 as well (one night thing).  I vaguely remember having a sore throat, but I drank a lot on the trip (hence the mistake) and didn't sleep much and had coast to coast flights...

What STDs would I be at risk of contracting from cunnilingus?

[auntiejessi]

Hi there -

No, I am not a doc, but feel free to post in the experts forum and ask the docs there.

I have worked years in this field, though.  If you check my profile, I have some of my experience listed there.

From performing oral sex on a woman, you might get gonorrhea or syphilis, and both aren't likely.  Gonorrhea isn't all that common, and syphilis is less common than that.

Oral chlamydia is very rare, and some docs (including the docs in our expert forum) say its rare enough to not ever happen.

I seriously doubt you would have anything this long and not notice it.  When I say you'd notice it, you would be very sick.

AJ

[jthomas33]

Thanks again for your comments and information.  I appreciate you taking the time to answer me.  

So you don't think it is possible to be asymptomatic for 3 years, or even have mild symptoms that me or my wife thought were something else (yeast infection, normal stuff, etc)?  What else besides Gonnorhea, syphilis and Chlamydia could I have contracted from oral sex?  And if I got one of them would I definitely pass it on to my wife by performing oral sex or having intercourse?

Thanks!!  

[jthomas33]

Oh, I do notice that I have cloudy urine sometimes, what could that be?  Is that a symptom of one of the above??

[auntiejessi]

Cloudy urine has more to do with how much liquid you are, or aren't, taking in.

The only other possibility from oral is NGU, which is a non-specific urethritis, and I doubt you'd have that for 3 years without noticing.

And transmission wouldn't be a definite.

AJ

[jthomas33]

Hi AJ,

When you say I would be real sick, what do you mean  What symptoms would me or my wife be experiencing?  And could we have taken any medications over the years that might of cured it for one of us and not the other and just continue to pass it back and forth?

Thanks in advance for your reponse.

JT

[auntiejessi]

You would probably have severe pain, discharge, etc.

Your wife would have that and cramping, etc.

I seriously doubt you had or have anything, and you really need to find a way to move on from this.  Its been 3 years.  Its time.

Aj