questions about herpes

[anyinfoplease]

I am new to this site but would like some info. In April I received oral sex from a guy that I had been seeing for awhile and then a few days later developed some blisters, burning and redness. I went to the doctor and was told that I have herpes. He didn't say whether it was hsv-1or2. I am just assuming from the posts that I have read that it would be hsv-1, because after discussing the issue with the guy he said that he gets cold sores. He swears though that he didn't give it to me because his ex never got it and that I of course cheated on him. I have not had any other outbreaks to my knowledge and the doctor said that the first outbreak is usually the worst. The doctor put me on Valtrex for one week and said that we would just wait to see if I have any more outbreaks or how often the outbreaks come before going on Valtrex permanently.  My questions are:
How do I know for sure which type it is?

How should I feel in that area when I am not having an outbreak?  Sometimes I feel as though I may have a piece of sand or something in that area.  I seem to be paying alot more attention to that area now a days. Is that an outbreak without the blisters or is that a normal feeling?

How do I go about telling future relationships about it?

Should I maybe be on Valtrex to help prevent giving it to future partners?

Thanks for any help that you can provide.

[Bryanle1988]

use condom and wait ur outbreak is over...
it the best way to protect ur partner......tested will tell u which type os HSV u have...

[joliz]

That's really awful that on top of catching this thing you have him accusing you of being unfaithful. Id tell him to read up on herpes and how (I cant remember the stats) so many people have it and dont have symptoms so they dont realise. perhaps his ex already got cold sores so she had immunity.

[gracefromHHP]

At this point you can follow up with a type specific herpes igg blood test for hsv1 and hsv2 to see what your status is. It's really unfortunate that the doctor you saw at the time didn't do the basic care you deserved and  didn't perform a lesion culture and typing on your active lesions at the time :(   He really dropped the ball and I wouldn't hesitate to make a complaint to the clinic that they are not even following the basic guidelines for herpes diagnosis that the CDC recommends ( of course this only applies if you are in the US though I believe WHO's recommendations are similar ).   A visual diagnosis is never enough and it should always include basic culturing ( preferably pcr swabbing ) if symptoms are not crusted over and also include follow up testing if a + culture and typing wasn't attainable. Type really does matter and unfortunately the most accurate way to diagnose hsv1 genitally is thru a typing of lesions.

If you only received oral sex from this fellow then yes it's almost guaranteed to be hsv1 genitally but it's still best to err on the side of caution with the blood test just in case this was just your first obvious reactivation of a prior hsv2 infection.  

If it is hsv1 genitally - ~ 50% of all folks who contract hsv1 genitally never get another ob. Of those who do - the average is 1 additional ob the first year and then 1 ob every other year.  Only a small percentage of folks with hsv1 genitally get ob's more often.  It also doesn't shed very often - only about 3% of days so it's less likely to be transmitted to a partner.  If you get an obvious cold sore then you know you also contracted it orally - one study showed that about 1/4 of folks with hsv1 genitally also had it orally but it only looked at obvious cold sores - not oral shedding of hsv1. Since most folks who have hsv1 orally never get obvious cold sores the number is likely to be higher.  So if your partner doesn't have hsv1 at all - you are still more likely to transmit hsv1 from the oral area to the oral area but talk about if the two of you feel that barrier protection for oral sex is warranted too just in case you also have it orally.

As for that sandy feeling down yonder - it could be dryness or it could be vaginitis. Don't hesitate to follow up with your doctor for it to cover all the bases.  There are also many otc vaginal lubricants you can try - replens is one that is easy to use and lasts for several days.

grace

[anyinfoplease]

I did have a swab test done at the time of my outbreak. I do not remember the doctor telling me a specific type of herpes though. If I call the doctor back would he be able to tell me the type just from the swab test?

I am about 99% sure that I contracted it from one night of just oral sex, because the next day I had the redness and was very sore. I thought at first maybe he had been to rough or something. But then 2 days later it hurt to pee and the blisters appeared. Things just generally did not feel right down there. After I found out that I was positive for herpes I told him and he said that the week after he gave me the oral he had a cold sore. He thinks that the herpes came from and encounter I had 4 months earlier with someone else. Surely it wouldn't take 4 months for symptoms to appear, right?

Needless to say that since he was a real jerk about the whole thing I told him to hit the road. My problem now is how do I tell future partners about how I got this? Do I need to go into details or would it be ok to just say hey I have herpes?

So the sandy feeling isn't normal and I should call the doctor for that?

[gracefromHHP]

definitely call the clinic and see if your culture came back +  for herpes and if so which type it was.  That's faster than waiting for blood test results.

Correct - a sandy feeling isn't a part of herpes.  If it continues go be seen and get another exam.

How do you tell a partner? Just be honest about it and keep in mind that it is so not just all about you and your genital herpes - it's about what they could have too!  the herpes handbook and also the herpes info at www.ashastd.org both have info on herpes and suggestions about how to talk about this with a partner. The patient counseling video on the handbook site ( www.westoverheights.com ) is also quite helpful.

grace