How Come my Husband cant finish during sex?

[JesMcD10]

Me and my husband have been together for 8 months now! married for two! He went over sea's for about 9 months and masterbated all the time! He has never finished while we are having sex! but everytime he masterbates he finishes in like 5 mins? What do we do? It makes me feel like I am not pleasing him at all! I feel like maybe it's make our marriage fall apart! We really need help???

[Trinitynjdr]

The best think you can do is talk it over.  See what it is that he thinks about that keeps him aroused when he masterbates.  I am pretty sure everyone has a main focus when masterbating but if he says he thinks about nothing then you will just have to probe.  

He really should stop the masterbating(unless you are intimate, i will explain in a bit), this may be tmi and i am not a guy but i dont orgasm without oral stimulation or someone sucking both breast at once (sorry but i couldn't word that better).  That is just my thing and i think everyone has a main thing.  I still enjoy sex but it is such a different element when you can orgasm.  

You can alternate masterbating him and having sex with him.  Let him masterbate himself when you are pretty satisfied, sexually (seems selfish but it really isn't).  Be there to help him along with his masterbation and right before he cums you get in a position that he can start and finish inside you.  (obviously he needs to tell you when he is about to)

It may sound weird but you are trying to overcum two things

1.  you say that you want a baby(he has to come inside for this)
2.  you want to know that you are both getting something out of it(it is not a fault to you)

[JesMcD10]

THanks for all your comments! But he has never finished....it's not like he did and all of a sudden he doesn't anymore... He has never finished during sex or oral....I nor has anybody else that he's been with has ever made him finish before??? And we want kids so I am totally oblivious of what to do

[Vance2335]

I had a very similar problem with an ex I could finish but it would take sometimes close to an hour. What I did was I stopped masterbating which helped and I found what really excited me. With her it was dirty talk, so she would talk dirty and the combination of the 2 things made me finish quicker then I used to.

With my wife I have the same problem, but I have found that a couple of different positions will make me finish quicker. But if I don't masterbate then I will finish in a normal time frame.

So my first suggestion is for husband to stop masterbating. If you have sex 2 or 3 times a week or however many keep that up and he should finish, also make sure if you do foreplay (masterbate him/oral on him) that you go right into intercourse. Don't let time lapse from his stimulation to intercourse.

Another problem I have is if wife gives me oral and then I give her oral and then we have intercourse while I am still excited it takes longer to finish.

[bjlowe]

Hi Jess. I too have the same problem as you husband. I rarely finish with my girlfriend and it frustrates me so much. With all my sexual partners it has been difficult. I have noticed with myself that it sorta plays on my mind. When it happens a few times and then you start to have sex I was thinking about it that I have to finish and was putting pressure on myself which probably didnt help.

Also another reason I believe it happens was because I was masturbating to much probably every second or third day. When I would go a week without it and have sex I could eventually ejaculate.

My girlfriend has researched it and she did tell me something about a condition which causes it but I dont remember what she said (I got to listen more apparently hehe).

It is frustrating and its not because of you. I love my girlfriend very much and an so physically attracted to her but it still happens. Hope that helps a little..

[kunyil]

From my experience & knowledge:
1. Share more of deeper feeling with your husband to know if there are hidden stress (guilty feelings, problems, worries, fears) so that you can try to solve them togather.
2. If you could make wonderful, pleasing sexual intercourse in the past, you surely can make it best all the time. Try to remember what "fantasy"/"imagination" that had brought you two in very good mood & well energized to do sexual intercourse. Call back your memories of "energetic love making" in the past. Think that you are always doing it for the first time so vigurously. If sexual media (film, picture, story, music) can help both of you to creat romantic sexual environment, why not providing them just for thwo of you?
3. Consultation to sexuologist is necessary if it's available. THere must be one in internet world. Don't hasitate to explore more & experience the practise. Up till my present 25years marriage, I never stop learning, exploling, discussing & experimenting the practises of sexual intercourse "recipies" from various sources.