Aa
I have to beg for sex.
My husband and I have been together for almost a year now. We have been married for almost 7 months now and right before we tied the knot and moved in together, sex slowed down majorly. Mind you, I'm 18 and he is only 20.
I'm getting very tired of begging and I always feel like there is something wrong with me . I know that men can lose sexual drive when under stress, but JESUS, it doesn't seem to matter whether we have a good day or not. There has been countless times where I try to be coy about asking/hinting/attempting and it never seems to work. We used to have sex atleast once a day, sometimes even twice. Now, we get into huge arguements and I cry. I feel like such a child when I get so upset, but it's the one thing that him and I share and it isn't JUST sex! Without sounding naive I know that he isn't cheating on me. I don't know what to do, should I just wait it out? Should I just wait for him to come on to me, because when I do...it never seems like he wants to, more like he just wants to shut me up! Gosh, I'm so sick of this...please help.
I'm getting very tired of begging and I always feel like there is something wrong with me . I know that men can lose sexual drive when under stress, but JESUS, it doesn't seem to matter whether we have a good day or not. There has been countless times where I try to be coy about asking/hinting/attempting and it never seems to work. We used to have sex atleast once a day, sometimes even twice. Now, we get into huge arguements and I cry. I feel like such a child when I get so upset, but it's the one thing that him and I share and it isn't JUST sex! Without sounding naive I know that he isn't cheating on me. I don't know what to do, should I just wait it out? Should I just wait for him to come on to me, because when I do...it never seems like he wants to, more like he just wants to shut me up! Gosh, I'm so sick of this...please help.
Like I said before this has been going on for 8 months. I have such low self esteem now due to this and a lot more, but mainly our relationship. I know a relationship is based on a lot more than just sex, but I'm lucky if we do "it" once a week. I know things are really stressful right now, but there is no need for this. We have a lot of bills and are behind on some which I understand is stressful for him, but he never wants to do anything.
Before I met him, I was not a home body at all. I just slept at my house...sometimes and showered there. Other than that, I was on the go, going to parties, hanging out...anything to get out of the house. Then, we met and he wasn't all to much of a party go-er, so I cut back. So, we stayed in a lot. Plus, it was nice just relaxing and spending time with someone who I really cared about and him feeling the same about me.
Then, marriage came in, and that's when the distance grew. We rushed into our marriage due to my losing my apartment. I was kicked out of my father's house at 17 and my mother had an apartment that she wasn't staying at (she was on section 8), so with me only being 17 and not having very much credit, she allowed me to stay and I only had to pay 300 a month for everything, minus food, ect...
Anyways, my mother and I got into an arguement and she then decided that I was "evicted". Well, my husband (boyfriend at the time) came up with the idea that he wanted to help me out and didn't want to see me out on the streets, so he suggested that we should get married. He is in the service, so once you are married you recieve BAH (for housing) and him and I could get a place. So, I accepted and then we were engaged. My mother got pissed about that and then decided that I only had 2 weeks until I had to have all of my stuff packed and out (she also told me that her trying to commit suicide my fault as well, but that's another long story). Well, for a month I stayed with a cousin of mine and my husband (still bf at that time) visited me every night, but arguements occured a lot over the marriage. I started to feel like he didn't want to get married anymore and also told me that he was warned before he came to this command that women in Maryland are money grubbing wh*res and they will take you for everything. That really ticked me off because...this wasn't my idead to get married in the first place, but I really wanted to...and not just for a place to live or to be taken care of.
So, we finally got married and we moved in with a (navy) buddy of his who was also an alcoholic and his gf. visited all the time. Our room mate and his gf fought a lot which I felt gave the atmosphere a bad vibe and started to take it's toll on us. I wanted the room mate out, but my husband needed help with the bills.
Finally, we kicked out room mate out. Over this process of him living with us, my husband and I started to drift apart. Now that our room mate has moved out, things have improved, but not by much.
It isn't just sex! My husband doesn't want to do anything it seems. I am stuck in the house all day, I can't even get a job. My car is broken down, we don't have enough money for a new car or even used and we aren't near any bus routes. He leaves for work at 6:30 in the morning and comes home by 3 or 4 in the afternoon. So, he wants to relax, and I'm bouncng off the walls.
I truly do not ask for much (keeping in mind we don't have much money), I like to take walks (we live on the water), he won't do that. When we do have extra cash, I'd like to see a movie...I have to beg for him to go anywhere. A friend of ours will invite us over there house, he doesn't want to go. Never does he try to keep me in the house, but I'd like for him to come with me!
I feel like there is something wrong with me, but he tells me there isn't. We can't talk because "It's too serious, just relax and stop worrying." Tonight, he was teaching me how to play poker, and I hinted at sex...he tells me "If you win this round, I will sex you up."...I won, but by him saying that...I said nevermind.
So now we wager sex or poker? WTF?!
We can be lying in bed and be talking (he's awake), then...once I mention sex, he gets his sleepy voice kicking and starts to mumble like he isn't awake anymore.
I know this seems stupid, but it is starting a lot arguements and for some reason I'm always in the wrong. I hate this feeling! I even ask him if he wants to be with someone else, or if he is no longer attracted to me. Even if he is cheating. He tells me that I am crazy and that I should have more confidence in myself, he isn't cheating (which like I said before I don't have very much of a reason to believe he is), and there are times he just doesn't feel like it.
What the hell else can I do?!!!?!?!!!
Before I met him, I was not a home body at all. I just slept at my house...sometimes and showered there. Other than that, I was on the go, going to parties, hanging out...anything to get out of the house. Then, we met and he wasn't all to much of a party go-er, so I cut back. So, we stayed in a lot. Plus, it was nice just relaxing and spending time with someone who I really cared about and him feeling the same about me.
Then, marriage came in, and that's when the distance grew. We rushed into our marriage due to my losing my apartment. I was kicked out of my father's house at 17 and my mother had an apartment that she wasn't staying at (she was on section 8), so with me only being 17 and not having very much credit, she allowed me to stay and I only had to pay 300 a month for everything, minus food, ect...
Anyways, my mother and I got into an arguement and she then decided that I was "evicted". Well, my husband (boyfriend at the time) came up with the idea that he wanted to help me out and didn't want to see me out on the streets, so he suggested that we should get married. He is in the service, so once you are married you recieve BAH (for housing) and him and I could get a place. So, I accepted and then we were engaged. My mother got pissed about that and then decided that I only had 2 weeks until I had to have all of my stuff packed and out (she also told me that her trying to commit suicide my fault as well, but that's another long story). Well, for a month I stayed with a cousin of mine and my husband (still bf at that time) visited me every night, but arguements occured a lot over the marriage. I started to feel like he didn't want to get married anymore and also told me that he was warned before he came to this command that women in Maryland are money grubbing wh*res and they will take you for everything. That really ticked me off because...this wasn't my idead to get married in the first place, but I really wanted to...and not just for a place to live or to be taken care of.
So, we finally got married and we moved in with a (navy) buddy of his who was also an alcoholic and his gf. visited all the time. Our room mate and his gf fought a lot which I felt gave the atmosphere a bad vibe and started to take it's toll on us. I wanted the room mate out, but my husband needed help with the bills.
Finally, we kicked out room mate out. Over this process of him living with us, my husband and I started to drift apart. Now that our room mate has moved out, things have improved, but not by much.
It isn't just sex! My husband doesn't want to do anything it seems. I am stuck in the house all day, I can't even get a job. My car is broken down, we don't have enough money for a new car or even used and we aren't near any bus routes. He leaves for work at 6:30 in the morning and comes home by 3 or 4 in the afternoon. So, he wants to relax, and I'm bouncng off the walls.
I truly do not ask for much (keeping in mind we don't have much money), I like to take walks (we live on the water), he won't do that. When we do have extra cash, I'd like to see a movie...I have to beg for him to go anywhere. A friend of ours will invite us over there house, he doesn't want to go. Never does he try to keep me in the house, but I'd like for him to come with me!
I feel like there is something wrong with me, but he tells me there isn't. We can't talk because "It's too serious, just relax and stop worrying." Tonight, he was teaching me how to play poker, and I hinted at sex...he tells me "If you win this round, I will sex you up."...I won, but by him saying that...I said nevermind.
So now we wager sex or poker? WTF?!
We can be lying in bed and be talking (he's awake), then...once I mention sex, he gets his sleepy voice kicking and starts to mumble like he isn't awake anymore.
I know this seems stupid, but it is starting a lot arguements and for some reason I'm always in the wrong. I hate this feeling! I even ask him if he wants to be with someone else, or if he is no longer attracted to me. Even if he is cheating. He tells me that I am crazy and that I should have more confidence in myself, he isn't cheating (which like I said before I don't have very much of a reason to believe he is), and there are times he just doesn't feel like it.
What the hell else can I do?!!!?!?!!!
I am in the opposit position. I seem to want sex much more than my wife. for me it is all about the intimacy. when we have more intimacy and are closer then things seem to be better. try and improve you level of intimacy and emotional connection with your husband and that might help.
I wish I could help but I don't know what is wrong with men when they lose interest in sex. The husband could be cheating, he could have lost interest in the person he is with, he could have become un attracted to her.
me and my hubby has been married for 1yr and 3 months i feel the same way when i have to beg for sex i know how you feel it does suck
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